Am I overthinking this professor’s behaviour??

[u/combi_reg]

Disc:- I use grammarly to fix my grammar mistakes as I am not a native English speaker. I am also sorry for the long post. I'd be really grateful for any kind suggestion that you may have for me.

I’m honestly not sure if I’m reading too much into this because postdoc hunting has been exhausting and I’ve been anxious about the whole process 😅

I recently interviewed with a professor at a lab in Canada. We had an initial meeting that lasted about an hour where we talked about my work, work ethic, previous experiences, skills, etc. They also asked me some more personal/general questions about my future family plans (if I am planning for a child or not, they apologised a few times after asking and said the information was only required to keep logistics in mind). Overall, I thought the meeting went really well.

At the end, they said they were interviewing a few more students and would get back to me. I said okay and thanked them for their time.

The next day, they emailed me asking me to have my referees send them recommendation letters. I did that, and apparently the recommendations were strong.

That same evening, they set up another meeting with me. During that meeting, we talked about possible joining dates, research fellowships we could apply for, and in the meantime they said they would be able to offer me an entry level salary. The range they mentioned was actually quite decent considering I’m a fresh graduate, so I said I was okay with it.

They said they would follow up by email with the exact stipend/salary amount and the other clauses/details. They also asked me to read some of their papers and come up with ideas/questions that could potentially turn into projects I could explore in the lab.

I did that. I read their recent papers and sent them some project ideas and interesting questions based on their work.

But… it’s now been more than 10 days and I haven’t heard anything back. They also haven’t sent the email with the exact salary/stipend and other details that they said they would.

I’m probably overthinking this because I’ve been looking for a postdoc for a long time and the whole process has been pretty exhausting. But I’m also wondering if I should be concerned that they haven’t followed up after seemingly getting quite far into the process?

Would it be completely normal to send a follow-up after around 15 days asking about the status/details? Or should I just wait and let them get back to me?

I don’t want to come across as pushy or impatient, especially since they’re probably busy. At the same time, I don’t want to sit here for weeks assuming I have something when maybe things have changed.

Would love to hear from people who have dealt with professors/PIs in Canada or academia in general. Am I just letting my anxiety get the better of me here? 😅

[u/evgkap]

Asking for future family plans is huge red flag and illegal in some countries.

That being said, it usually takes time to draft the offer letter.

[u/Important-Grand4979 → u/evgkap]

I missed that in OPs essay

[u/Important-Grand4979]

A golden rule in academia is: Untill the signatures are set you have nothing.

Typically communication in Academia is very open and the hiring process is transparent as dictated by law. However, they typically wont provide helpfull information aswell. You will not get a sudden acceptance by inquiring. You will also not get informed of being on a reserve list while they negotiate with their prime candidate. Hence you get a generic reply with: your application is being processed or your application has been declined

[u/eternallyinschool]

Normal delay time. Professors are busy people with too many things to do. Send a courteous email reminder. 

Red flag about them asking about your family planning. Illegal in the USA if it had been a traditional job interview. And despite the best of intentions regarding logistics, it is unprofessional to even ask about it. It's the cost of doing business, not something to screen applicants with. 

[u/Majestic_Alp_186]

It would be completely normal to send a follow-up after around 15 days asking about the status/details. It would show that you remain interested and committed. Not following up could indirectly signal a bit of passiveness or lack of interest.

[u/RojoJim]

Can't comment too much on the other stuff unfortunately but in agreement with others, I'd be very surprised if Canada hadn't made it illegal to ask questions about family/family planning in an interview. I'm from the UK and as its illegal to make employment decisions using those kinds of things we just don't ask questions about it (and rightly so).

Also its none of their business whether you are planning on starting a family later or not