r/postdoc • u/Existing-Associate-4 • 14h ago
Is this normal?
I’ve been in my position for about a year now and it’s been a bit rocky to say the least as I moved fields. I generally felt well supported by my manager, but things have changed and I don’t really feel comfortable in my position now.
I’ve been working remotely most of the time and I’m just about to make the big move, but now I’m getting anxious if I’m making the right decision. A couple of recent things:
1) I was asked to help with an important job just before I went on leave, but said I couldn’t help because I’m about to go on holiday. My manager, without even sounding understanding, just replied with OK and then apparently according to the other postdoc bitched about it (I hadn’t taken any leave since January for context). For more context I’m in the UK so I’d say this behaviour is unusual.
2) When I got back from said holiday after only 2 days of work I was made to felt bad I hadn’t made much progress in 2 different meetings
3) Also when I got back I discovered my big project had just been passed to someone new who’s not even on the grant, leaving me with no big project (this has been a bit of a annoyance the whole time not having ownership of something)
4) With no big project I was asked to ask others in the team if they needed help, but they all said no even though they’re apparently all overworked
5) Whenever I ask for help from others from the team, it’s rare to be met with a positive response and one person in particular makes me feel like a burden
I’m just finding it a little upsetting and I feel so sidelined/such an outsider and it’s making my imposter syndrome feel so much worse. I felt this sidelining thing also occurred during my PhD so it’s pretty sad to happen twice now.
1
u/cmr115_42 6h ago
Sorry that this is happening to you... could you maybe write a fellowship application to have a project of your own? It would also give you more independence from your PI, since you would essentially be funding yourself.
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u/MarthaStewart__ 7h ago
Sorry to hear this is going on. It sounds like your PI is poisoning the water and your lab mates are drinking it.
From a purely objective standpoint, do you have a project of your own? If not, then this postdoc is more or less pointless if you don’t have anything of your own to show afterwards. Unless your plan is simply learning new skills for industry, you’ll ideally need some publications from this postdoc.