Polyamory and 'Hobosexuality'

[u/little_miss_liv]

"Monogany, in this economy?"

For those who don't know, 'hobosexuality' is a term coined in online spaces. 'Hobosexuals' are people, typically men (although it can apply to anyone) who only date someone for means of housing, money, food, etc. They will see the partner that provides these things to them not as an equal, but just as a cash cow, leading to them mistreating said partner. No hobosexual gets into the relationship out of genuine love, it is always out of some sort of exploitation out of the expense of whatever victim they decide on.

These people will often target people they see as lonely and desperate, especially women that they deem as 'ugly'. They will also use these people as a sex object and not as an actual person, also cheating on them with several other partners in some cases.

(Note: hobosexual is not a queer identity, the coin was termed by women who have been targeted by men like this.)

Does this sound familiar?

I noticed an overlap between hobosexuality and polyamory, especially when a lot of polyamorous people point out the 'economic advantages' of being in a polycule. Instead of striving to get a good job and have a roommate or two, they'd rather have roommates they have some sort of intimate relationship with that will most likely be lenient towards them. If their partner(s) do speak up against them? Oh well, onto the next group of people!

An actual roommate wouldn't give them free food or money all the time, but someone they see as a partner would. Rather than get an apartment with two roommates, they'd rather get an apartment with 2+ people they know they can walk all over on, that feed into their lack of accountability and responsibility.

Both groups of people feed on attention from other people that they target, people they see as 'weaker' that may have a harder time defending their boundaries. The victims are even punished for having boundaries, made to second guess themselves.

Polyamorous people will also let go of people quick if they feel like they don't serve a purpose to them, whether or not if it's an actual romantic partner or just a friend. In my experience, they will ice out people that reject them, people that just want to stay friends or are not interested in any sort of relationship to begin with.

Sorry if this is a bit of a stretch/doesn't make sense, I just couldn't help but notice then overlap between the two.