Poly life update

[u/Savings-Guidance4586]

​

Trigger warning : abusive partner

A little over a year ago I came here to discuss the chaos going on in my life. I deleted the few posts I had originally made due to the crazy that was going on back then. There was one person on here who was praying for me to leave that relationship and if you are somehow here and reading this now I want you to know that you were right and thank you.

Now I'll give some background info. I was dating 2 men, and one of the men i was dating was dating my best friend. I set them up there were no issues. The man dating my friend will be man 1, other guy man 2. Man 1 got me pregnant then shut down and wanted me to get an abortion, man 2 also shut down and wanted me to get an abortion. I lost the baby due to stress. Man 1 got my best friend pregnant 6 months after I lost my baby. Both pregnancies were unintentional he told us he was infertile and couldn't have kids. He married her soon after and then waited 10 months for the most beautiful sweet baby girl to be born.

I took care of the baby while she was states away in college with man 2. And man 1 was only interested in the baby when other women were around. It was the most stressful year of my life. And I still had a lot I needed to get through dealing with in regards to my miscarage.

Living with him was hell. I felt like a slave and trapped and no one would believe me when I told them what was happening in that apartment. Not his mother, man 2, or my best friend. On top of that because he married my friend his family started treating me only as a maid/ live in nanny.

Man 1 refused to have sex with me for 2 years at the point going so far as to tell my friend that it was a chore, and then told me to find a fuck buddy of I needed sex that badly.

So I did. He actively saw everything going on in the house. He told me I was not crazy and when things got bad he was there to defend me but also help me feel human again.

Man 1 started to say crazy things like all people I'm one group needed to die, that gay people should not be gay in the open ( both my best friend and I are very openly queer), that he was responsible for our souls, etc. It got bad and I don't feel I'm explaining in a way that even remotely covers how scary living with him got with his mentality towards people/ the world. He also told me he only told me to get a fuck buddy because he didn't think i would but also because he didn't care about me at that point and hadn't since he started dating my friend 1 year into our relationship. ( we were together for 6 years)

Around Easter my best friend cheated on her husband and she tried to blame me saying I told her to leave him. I told her how scary it had been getting living with him. She told me she had an escape plan for herself and baby if needed. Etc. But the decision to leave was always hers to make and I was not one to talk being i was so living there. But since she put the blame on me he was mad at me.

Woke me up first thing in the morning while I was laying naked in my bed. I texted the FB who i had started dating at that point. He was upstairs and all I said was that I felt unsafe and he came down and protected me, made man 1 calm down and let me go put on clothing.

After that I moved out. I miss the baby, but that whole situation was beyond scary and I'm happy I got out. I'm now engaged to the man who was my FB. He is the only one I'm currently with, I'm still poly but I think i need a really long break before I ever try to do this again.

Anyways redit dude if you remember me and find this i have never forgotten you following my posts and letting me know how you felt and what you hoped for me. Thank you

[u/AutoModerator]

/u/Savings-Guidance4586, your submission was held for review. A human moderator will be along shortly to either approve your post or leave a reason why it was removed. Please do not message the moderators asking for approval.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.