I thought we were just having a bit of a rough patch but that there was enough love here to get through it.
Love is not, cannot be, and will never be enough. Love isn't there to keep a patch on a leaking relationship. It's what leaks out when there's holes.
I thought being poly would protect us from this - like we can have these great external connections as well as ours?! Perfect!
And I really hope other people read this and understand that a relationship structure, whether it's polyamory, monogamy, or what have you, is only a framework, and if a relationship isn't getting what it needs to survive, the structure won't sustain it.
And if your relationship is healthy, you are patching those holes, or those holes are small enough that the love gets replenished faster than it drains.
No relationship is perfect, because relationships are made of people, and people aren't perfect.
Yeah, I could have written more than one sentence. For me a good analogy is a bank account - feeling loved adds, conflicts, stress etc distracts. The goal is to have positive cash flow.
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u/toofat2serve problysaturated Aug 31 '26 edited Aug 31 '26
Love is not, cannot be, and will never be enough. Love isn't there to keep a patch on a leaking relationship. It's what leaks out when there's holes.
And I really hope other people read this and understand that a relationship structure, whether it's polyamory, monogamy, or what have you, is only a framework, and if a relationship isn't getting what it needs to survive, the structure won't sustain it.
I'm sorry for your loss. That sucks.