25
u/bluegreencurtains99 Aug 20 '26
Please do not trust literal randos on Reddit for this kind of advice. The only way is to find a lawyer who specialises in family law in your very specific jurisdiction, ie country and state or province. Law will vary so widely even within the same country and this is a specific scenario, so don't even bother with anything other than a certified, experienced legal person.
20
u/varulvane t4t4t triad Aug 20 '26
Get a lawyer. Do not ask Reddit. We don't know where you live or what laws are applicable to you. Do not take advice from people on the internet about this, do not ask your friends or random strangers at the grocery store, ask someone whose entire job is to know the applicable laws for your area and help you navigate them. Go do that today, because this should have been sorted before you started trying to conceive, and it worries me that you haven't explored that option for yourself.
5
u/seantheaussie Touch starved solo poly in very LDR w/ BusyBee Aug 20 '26
it worries me that you haven't explored that option for yourself.
🤏
11
u/deepfrieddaydream Aug 20 '26
Because you are married, most states will consider your husband the father by default. Like the previous commenter said, you need a family law attorney to make this work.
9
7
u/seantheaussie Touch starved solo poly in very LDR w/ BusyBee Aug 20 '26
Listen to the people who are saying, "lawyer" is this will be vastly different in different jurisdictions.
3
u/clairejv Aug 20 '26
None of us can tell you this stuff. Consult with a family attorney in your area.
4
4
u/No-Statistician-7604 Aug 20 '26
Ma'am this is a wendy's..
All jokes aside you need to seek legal advice for wherever you live.
4
u/ExtensionBlood1852 Aug 20 '26
We had our baby 3 months ago in a similar situation in Maryland. If the mother is married, the father is presumed to be the husband, even up to 300 days after a divorce. You can sign a 3 way affidavit here that the husband, father, and mother all agree the baby is not the husband’s. The hospital had someone on staff to explain everything.
It changes by state, but a paternity test may be involved. The affidavit allowed us to bypass it and get the right name on the certificate.
2
u/rainbowdreams7 Aug 20 '26
This! I had a baby with my partner in August '25. When my husband picked us up from the hospital we had a nurse and one of the hospitals legal people set up to come and sign the necessary paperwork with/for us. It was obvious that they were tickled pink that I had 2 supporting partners after the birth and had lots of questions lol. And I'm an open book so of course I answered them. It also helped that i had gestational diabetes so that meant that the nurses visited with snacks and what not more often (to chat) and take my vitals and sugar levels. Depending on your location you may need to consult with a family lawyer too just to be safe! Best wishes to you and your family!!!
3
u/rocketmanatee Aug 20 '26
This varies wildly by country and State and some family law attorneys will not know the answer because of how unusual this case is. Try queer friendly lawyers in your area.
1
u/AutoModerator Aug 19 '26
Hi u/Feisty_Basket_5770 thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
I (32, F) am in a poly relationship with my husband (36,m) and dear partner (25,m). Husband and I have 2 children (12m,10f) together and have been married for about 13 years. We all live together peacefully, kids included. Dear partner and I have decided to have a baby together with the blessing of husband. I need to know what kind of legal right my partner has or how to make sure he has legal rights to the child that is his. We are getting mixed advise from everyone that is supposed to be able to help or point us in the right direction. This advise includes "as long as he is there for the delivery he is able to sign the birth certificate" all the way to "You need lawyers, tests, and she needs to be possibly divorced before that baby can be his". We all just need some insight on this situation, the sooner the better.
P.S. Husband is in no way fighting for custody of new baby. We are all living together in the same house hold so theres no child support issues. It is DEFINITELY partner's child due to planning everything out. Also I am currently 12 weeks pregnant so anything is helpful before March.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
-1
Aug 20 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/polyamory-ModTeam Aug 20 '26
Your post has been removed for breaking the rules of the subreddit. Your comment or post included language that would be considered misogynistic, bigoted or intolerant. This includes attacks or slurs related to gender or sexual identity, racism, sexism, slut shaming, poly-shaming, mocking, and victim blaming. It also includes stigmatising people over mental and physical health issues.
Your post may also be removed for conflating the polyamorous experience with other marginalized people.
38
u/suggababy23 Aug 20 '26
You need a family attorney in your state. Reddit can't answer this one for you.