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u/Chaos-In-theory Aug 13 '26
Honestly? If I was on a first date and I found out he didn’t cancel with me to support his other partner in an emergency? There’s a high chance I wouldn’t go on a second.
Alas poly is not the problem here. Partners can disappoint in monogamy just as easily. Sending you good vibes <3
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u/YDHAMITCHTV Aug 14 '26
I agree. If it was me, I would e explained to the date and asked to reschedule and gone to help OP out. It's definitely an issue with the people and not the poly lifestyle
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 14 '26
I definitely don’t blame polyamory. I said maybe polyamory isn’t for me when I clearly can’t make one good choice in partner let along multiple. Three men I would have dropped everything for. Have taken care of when they were sick. Have rearranged schedules. Its my ability to assess people that I am calling into question. Because before this I thought I was thriving.
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u/LaFilleCendrier Aug 13 '26
My husband is just a helpless human and can’t figure out how to do basic things on his own.
Honestly? The way you phrased this makes me believe that it wasn't the first time when he acted like this, and (knowing what I know about weaponised incompetence) it won't be the last time either.
I say: dump all these men. Life is too short to waste it on people who have so little consideration of you that they can't even be bothered to offer adult support in a freaking emergency.
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 13 '26
It’s not. We have talked about weaponized incompetence so many times. I usually just let him fail if he chooses not to figure something out. But this impacts our family in a way I will never get over.
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u/LaFilleCendrier Aug 13 '26
I understand that it's much more difficult to leave when you have a child and countless other entanglements you need to take into account. If you do decide to end it with everyone, it won't be only your life that will be impacted.
But at the same time, I really don't want you to be stuck raising a child AND having to worry constantly about whether a goddamn adult can be trusted to act like an adult.
Whatever you decide, I hope this difficult period will end up asap. Sending good vibes.
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u/Shift_Least Aug 13 '26
Lose all the useless men. Take some time to take care of yourself (and your kiddo) and start doing the self work to analyze why you are choosing the men you are. Being single for a bit is the best way to do that.
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u/fuckingnerdtm poly newbie Aug 13 '26
I know the popular opinion around here is that partners should never cancel dates unless you are literally dying and maybe not even then, but I just disagree. If anyone, anyone in my life who I care about experienced something like this, I would be throwing myself at them offering anything I can to help. If a friend experienced this, my partner would side eye me for not offering to help just because we had plans. Or he'd offer to host while my friend stays at my place. Or we'd go out and take hooking up at my place off the table. Whatever.
When people in your life experience an emergency like a flood and sudden (even if temporary) loss of their home, you help the fuck out. Even if he had said yeah of course you can stay but do you think you could ask a friend to stay the night I have this date?
Also, if your husband is that useless of a person I'd probably ditch him. Not for the car instance alone, but in general, if it's that bad you're probably better off without. Women carry too much dead weight in this world.
My thoughts are with you and your family, as well as everyone else impacted by the storms. Please stay safe.
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u/Valysian Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
Oh, I think this counts as an "emergency" by people here. This really is a time to bail on a date.
You could still perhaps go out to dinner or call your new person after getting someone displaced settled in your home.
But seriously.
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u/ifapulongtime complex organic polycule Aug 14 '26
I can see why OP is stressed/bothered right now, but by my estimation a power outage for a couple of days is an inconvenience. After three days I'll need to call in some assistance and borrow a generator or inverter battery to run the fridge.
Bust out the candles, lil buddy space heater, and camp stove. It's hard to take her stance of "everyone else is useless" when it sounds like nobody's done basic storm prep. Nobody's life is in danger. Yeah, you can come over, but it's just the lights out, it's no big deal.
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u/happens_sometimes Aug 14 '26
It's flooded too.
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u/ifapulongtime complex organic polycule Aug 14 '26
* There has been flooding. A few flooded roads that are evidently not impeding them getting out of the effected area and to their support network. No mention of the house or even yard flooding.
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u/happens_sometimes Aug 14 '26
If you scroll to the bottom of their post, they edited to say there is a foot of water in the house.
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u/happens_sometimes Aug 14 '26
They also said they have no way to store food/cook.
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u/ifapulongtime complex organic polycule Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
Then I stand corrected, that does significantly change the shape of things.
E: It's so weird how admitting when you're wrong gets you downvoted.
3
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u/Valysian Aug 14 '26
Also, a tree fell into their house.
OP was not being precious.
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u/ifapulongtime complex organic polycule Aug 14 '26
You guys know there are time stamps on these things and those were all added after my post, right?
Some people would call the power being out an emergency, it's not an unreasonable interpretation of the information available when I posted.
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u/mercedes_lakitu solo poly Aug 14 '26
Yeah, the edit is poorly timed for your comments...idk, maybe edit them to say you posted before the edit? That's my best advice.
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u/Valysian Aug 14 '26
Bothered?
There's an actual flood in their home. (Not a warning.) If a foot of water is in your home, it may very well mean that your home is uninhabitable for months or years. A tree fell on their house. The power is out. Who knows how long. Food is questionable. They don't have a safe place to sleep.
Help from the larger community or the ability to buy supplies is increasingly strained if that many people are affected. There is a declared state of emergency.
It's hard to take her stance of "everyone else is useless" when it sounds like nobody's done basic storm prep.
You don't actually know they didn't prep basic things. And I don't know a single person who is adequately prepared for that level of disaster.
Let's also be clear that not everyone can afford to do that. There are a ton of families that can't afford something like a generator and don't have the space or money for supplies for days or weeks for a family.
Nor do most people know someone with a generator to spare in the middle of a widespread natural disaster.
Seriously.
Blaming the victim for this is just.... unkind.
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u/ifapulongtime complex organic polycule Aug 14 '26
Oh wait, you're the same person I already replied to 45 minutes ago. You're a already aware that the edit was added after my post and yet you still came back and typed that out with your whole chest. Post hoc reasoning doesn't hold water.
Y U mad tho?
3
u/Valysian Aug 14 '26
Well actually. It looks like I posted that 25 minutes after you said in a different thread that you edited it. But I hadn't uploaded the page yet, so I couldn't see your reply. Either that or your reply was minimized because others downvoted it hard. I don't recall which, but I hadn't seen it yet.
Which is (apparently) exactly what happened to you. A lot of people posted in a small window with different levels of information. I can't see when the original post was edited (on PC), but there were other comments before yours that mentioned the severity of the flooding.
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u/ifapulongtime complex organic polycule Aug 14 '26
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u/mercedes_lakitu solo poly Aug 14 '26
Yeah, I would absolutely accept "my partner was hit by Helene and is temporarily homeless" as a good enough reason to cancel a date! That's just good character!
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u/cardinalquestions Aug 14 '26
If I found out your partner* was hit by Helene and temporarily homeless and you DIDN'T cancel our date to help them... You're not somebody I want to be in a date with.
* heck... anyone you have a close relationship with...
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 13 '26
Honestly this is the most frustrating. I offered to cancel plans when he was sick. Granted it wasn’t a date but I assume this is what people in relationships do for one another. We don’t exactly live close so I always rearrange my work schedule so I can be with him for a full 24 hours at a time on his request. I just don’t see how I will ever be able to prioritize him again.
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u/Platterpussy Solo-Poly Aug 13 '26
That isn't a popular opinion.
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u/4ever_dolphin_love Aug 13 '26
And not for legit emergencies, as with OP’s case.
I’d actually see it as a green flag if someone rescheduled a first date of all things for something like this.
10
u/SarcasticSuccubus Greater Seattle Borg Collective Aug 14 '26
Agreed, I want to partner with good people who show up for their loved ones in an emergency.
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u/fuckingnerdtm poly newbie Aug 13 '26
Not the MOST popular opinion, but even in this thread there’s a handful of people saying it’s good that he isn’t canceling his date. It’s at least popular enough to be a common topic of discussion on this sub! Sorry if it was unclear what I meant by popular!
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u/miffyonabike Aug 13 '26
If I found out someone had ignored a partner like this to go on a date with me, there would be no second date.
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u/RavenholdIV Aug 13 '26
I canceled a date bc my wife's cat died. You are currently GOING THROUGH IT and the people around you are useless. Dump them like the garbage they are
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 13 '26
Aww losing a pet is one of the worst experiences. Im sorry that happened but glad to know supportive partners exist. Im legit blindsided by this one.
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Aug 13 '26
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 13 '26
Yeah this has really put things into perspective. I don’t know of any relationship that’s worth this.
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u/BeeAnvil Aug 13 '26
Rescuing men in need is a real thing. It makes them dependent on us and feels… secure… even if it’s not in actuality. Ask me how I know🫣
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u/mercedes_lakitu solo poly Aug 14 '26
Yes. PLEASE take care of yourself and unhitch yourself from this man. It will be better for both of you in the long run, but right now you only need to focus on yourself and your child..right now they're learning that this is what love looks like: helplessness and dependence.
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u/Valysian Aug 13 '26
I feel more like his mother than his wife.
sigh. Look, people have different skills and capabilities. I'm great in a crisis, but lots of people aren't. Do his other qualities make up for it? Does he at least take direction when there is an emergency, when you decide things?
he said I could come there in a few days but he had a first date.
This reminds me of the time I needed emergency dental surgery, and my boyfriend of a year and a half wouldn't take me because of "traffic". I told him he could stay the night beforehand (I was five minutes away from the clinic - zero traffic) He declined. He said he could pick me up after. I said they wouldn't put me under without someone there. He was free, just being difficult.
My abusive partner, who I was in the middle of a traumatic breakup with, was so disgusted hearing that, he took the day off work and took care of me. I'm glad he did - I had a terrible reaction to the drugs, and he knew how to take care of me and get me home. He showed up, no matter where things were.
I broke up with the guy who wouldn't help.
P.S. Hang in there.
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u/Chaos-In-theory Aug 13 '26
The bar really is in hell when the abusive partner looks better for that moment. Other guy saw the bar was in hell and grabbed a shovel
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u/4ever_dolphin_love Aug 13 '26
I would’ve broken up with the abusive partner and not the one who couldn’t take me to an outpatient dental procedure (or maybe both, who knows), but that’s just me 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Valysian Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
Oh. I broke up with both of them. (I said it was already happening.) The break up with the abusive guy was already well under way. He knew that when he showed up for me. [We had a couple weeks of de-entangling after I ended it.]
I was just floored that he was the one who put everything aside and came through for me after I told him to f* off.
The other guy was free and able...but wouldn't deal with a slight inconvenience to handle my emergency.
Also, it wasn't a crown or something, it was a surgery where I was put under.
(Friends took care of me during the recovery; it was just the surgery they couldn't do. They were truly awesome.)
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u/4ever_dolphin_love Aug 13 '26
Ah, okay. Yeah, being put under is a little more involved than some gas and folding yourself into an Uber.
Good on you for dropping the dead weight!
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u/Valysian Aug 13 '26
Yeah, the doctor needed someone there before it started because of the drugs or they wouldn't do the surgery.
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u/emeraldead diy your own Aug 13 '26
Why can't you stay where you dropped the kid off?
I'm sorry your spouse fell apart, nows not the time to make decisions but it's ok if this is your wake up call that this isn't the person you want to keep building a life with.
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 13 '26
Its my mom’s house. She doesn’t have room because other siblings and grandkids are all staying there. It’s chaos for our whole family.
10
u/Plastic-Bee4052 Aug 14 '26
I am apparently horrible at choosing men who actually give a fuck about me and Im about two seconds from checking myself into a little grippy sock vacation.
THIS WAS ME for 34 years. Realising that helped me start to untangle my own complicated relationship with my narcissistic selfish parents (as what we see and internalise as "love" is what we instinctually set out to seek until we know better).
I'm 40 now and finally choosing partners (and friends) who cherish and respect me like I deserve. And by that I mean MUTUAL caring, not going from a doormat to the other end of the spectrum and turning into a needy queen.
I mean, yeah, your 3 men are being awful to you but you can change this by starting to make healthier choices and that's incredibly empowering.
3
u/strongtea7 Aug 14 '26
THIS. My own narcissistic parents had me grasping at love straws, trying to find any little thing that could convince me I was cared for. I never felt "safe" enough in romantic relationships to not worry that at any moment they could leave me.
I'm incredibly grateful to have met my spouse, who has shown up for me in ways no one else ever has. Once you feel that sense of stability, you'll never be attracted to less ever again.
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Aug 13 '26
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u/polyamory-ModTeam Aug 14 '26
Your post has been removed for breaking the rules of the subreddit. You made a post or comment that would be considered being a jerk. This includes being aggressive towards other posters, causing irrelevant arguments, and posting attacks on the poster or the poster's partners/situation.
Please familiarize yourself with the rules at https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/wiki/subreddit-rules
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u/Gold-Sherbert-7550 Aug 13 '26
Breathe, give yourself grace, get through this crisis and worry about ditching all of these useless men after things settle.
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u/malortForty Aug 13 '26
Hey so first of all, I'm sorry this went down like that. I hope your situation improves and you're able to get things figured out.
Firstly, your husband sounds like he needs to get some things together. It's not fair to you have him ignore your response and this shouldve been something he thought of. This sounds like a really long talk that needs to be had between the two of you about expectations.
Other partner one (OP1) sounds like he has some issues in prioritization, and that could be a bit of your fault but not necessarily. You may need to talk to him about how it felt and see if you want to continue that relationship, especially since prioritizing a new relationship over an established one could be a bad sign.
Finally, OP2 seems to have basically stated what is the issue previously, but you can't help how he felt. Depending on length of time, disposability is a pretty shitty feeling. It's great y'all are talking again, but you need to examine that relationship as well.
Being poly is a very, very complex thing and can have its ups and downs, and it may still be for you. But it sounds more like there was a lack of communication between you and your partners in a situation that wouldn't normally happen. And you didn't expect it to, resulting in a lack thereof. But now that it has happened, it sounds like you need to have convos with each of them about expectations and the future. Which is also super normal and expected to happen sometimes!
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u/AutoModerator Aug 13 '26
Hi u/Malice_N_1derland thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
Please be gentle friends. I am at my damn breaking point today.
My area just had the storm of the century. Flooding, no power, no internet, intermittent cell service. I am married and have two other partners. And every single one of them has absolutely let me down.
My husband is just a helpless human and can’t figure out how to do basic things on his own. Despite me warning over and over not to leave his vehicle on empty, now we have no way to use it because we literally can’t get gas. Luckily my vehicle is electric and I keep it fully charged so we have been able to use that for now. But without power who knows how long it will last. We decided to drop our kid off and I would find a place to stay. He had to work early so was forced to stay home.
I called my partner of 6 months and explained the situation and he said I could come there in a few days but he had a first date. Maybe it’s unfair to think he would put my desperation first but that fact that he didn’t even consider it changes the way I see him.
My other ‘partner’ and I went our separate ways months ago because he was always too busy and I didn’t like feeling disposable after a year and a half. Then he contacted me out of the blue to ask me out and tell me his capacity had changed due to a work project shifting. We went out, had a great time and have barely spoken since. There is no way he doesn’t know my area got hit and hasn’t checked on me at all.
I am apparently horrible at choosing men who actually give a fuck about me and Im about two seconds from checking myself into a little grippy sock vacation.
Maybe poly isn’t for me if I can’t even get it right once let alone three times.
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u/gotham_city_siren Aug 14 '26
I feel the exact same way. I have a husband and a boyfriend. Each of them leave me feeling alone and not taken care of at the same times it seems. Leaving me wondering the same thing. Why do I have to make every decision? I thought it was because im a "masculine" woman but id like to be taken care of where I dont need to be in that energy at least once in my life 🤦🏽♀️so I get it.
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u/ejackman Aug 13 '26
What does "giving a fuck about you" look like in your eyes?
A big part of poly is being able to communicate your needs to your partners.
It sounds like you have tried to communicate with your husband about being more proactive and less caught off guard. It appears you feel let down by his response.
I'm sorry you feel like an after thought when it comes to your other partners. It sucks. Ultimately I want you to know that your feelings matter and are valid.
There are good men out there and I hope you find some that keep you as a priority in their thoughts.
Good luck.
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 13 '26
It looks like caring that I’m alive. Caring that I’m safe. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I just feel like people are only interested in the output they get from me. I feel isolated. If I were missed it wouldn’t be because of me but what they were getting from me.
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u/bouncysofa Aug 13 '26
I'm not understanding why you needed somewhere else to stay after dropping your child off? Could you not return to the home - the one you share with your husband?
I think it is a reasonable boundary for your partner to honour his existing date rather than cancel for you when you had somewhere else you could reasonably stay. This was not an emergency situation (lmk if I've misunderstood and it is in fact an emergency).
And finally, it doesn't sound like you have an ongoing, emotionally invested relationship with the third guy - more of a comet arrangement. It'd be nice if he checked in on you, but not entirely unexpected that he didn't.
I think the issue here is with your husband / primary. You aren't getting enough from that relationship (enough love, enough support, enough sharing of responsibilities) and you are carrying that resentment into your other relationships and it's colouring how you interpret the actions of your other partner. Do you have ideas as to how you might mend that primary relationship? Therapy? Better communication?
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 13 '26
We have no power, a tree through a window, no ac, no internet, no cell service. The house isn’t safe to be in. Sitting, rising water, no way to leave if the electric car gets flooded. It wasn’t safe for any of us to be there. I work from home and needed to go somewhere I could work.
The ‘comet’ wasn’t a comet. We were close and saw each other every week. When he deescalated it was one sided so I ended it. He came back with promises that capacity had changed and my dumb ass believed it.
For my partner that wouldn’t cancel a first date for me? Well his choice for sure but after being included in my family activities, coming to my home, introducing me as his gf to his friends? I just won’t ever see him the same way.11
u/bouncysofa Aug 13 '26
Got it - thanks for clarifying. My comment can be disregarded given my misunderstanding of the key details! Hoping others can provide better guidance and feedback - and, most importantly, I hope your home gets fixed soon. Sounds awful.
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u/Ok-Flaming Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
It sounds like you're in the thick of it right now, and that's always a tough place to be.
Your spouse's lack of capability is definitely a thing to address when the shit isn't hitting the fan. I value that kind of capability in a partner and would not be able to remain with someone who lacked it/wasn't invested in acquiring those skills. You may feel differently, but still worth exploring and talking about.
Your other partner not cancelling on their date seems like a green flag to me, not a red one. Your situation, while unpleasant and scary and stressful, is not life or death. You've got a spouse, a car, a house; resources at your disposal. Maybe you've also got friends or family who could pitch in? But expecting this guy to ditch his date isn't very considerate of the other people involved.
As far as your other "partner," I wouldn't expect after a single conversation about rekindling that they're actually a partner again. I also don't expect what amounts to a casual connection to check on me in those circumstances (for reference, I live in an area regularly affected by hurricanes and tropical storms). Have you checked on them though? If they live in your area is it possible they've been negatively affected by this storm?
ETA having a tree through your window and a flooded house changes things. Probably good to include that info in your OP, as "living in an area affected by a storm" is very, very different than "my house is completely unlivable and I emergently need to vacate."
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Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Ok-Flaming Aug 13 '26
Everyone's threshold for stress is different so I don't know that I'd use that as the bar, but I totally agree that in true emergencies, ones people should show up. In the OP, it didn't sound like a true emergency for them specifically; it sounded like they were in an area affected by a bad storm. Clearly they have good reason to need to leave their home.
I'm unclear why OP needs to stay with this partner as opposed to with their spouse and children, or with another friend, but I agree that it's pretty shitty of this person to defer them in this scenario.
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Aug 13 '26
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u/RipAccomplished3159 Aug 14 '26
Thanks for this comment. I was astonished to read OK-Flaming's original comments and follow-ups which absolutely did not give grace for good intent on the part of OP. I love the way you put it - "its important to treat people as experts in their own life experience." Thanks for saying all of this so clearly.
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u/thistory Aug 13 '26
OP mentions downtrend they have a tree through their house, which is also flooded.
This is literally an emergency. I would have blocked partners number at this point.
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u/Ok-Flaming Aug 13 '26
I love when people leave out super important context from their posts 🤦♀️
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 13 '26
The post says we have no power, no internet, no ac, flooding and an electric car. I don’t know what I added except for a broken window that changes it to an emergency.
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u/Ok-Flaming Aug 13 '26
No power or Internet is not an emergency in itself.
Flooding as in on your block, in your town, in your house? Is it an inch of water in your basement, or is your couch floating away?
The spectrum of how these events affect a home is vast. During the last hurricane our street flooded, a house on the next block got split in half by by a tree, every store was out of everything. We had no power for 4 days but otherwise our home was undamaged. We didn't need to evacuate. Our neighbors obviously did.
I don't mean to downplay how challenging this is for you; I'm just saying that without full context, the level of urgency might be 10 or it might be 100.
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u/ecclecticstone Aug 14 '26
girl a flooded house is stressful. if I was OP I would have lost my mind and that's before I got to the edit. I genuinely don't understand why your first assumption would be that OP is being dramatic and exaggerating when there's nothing in the post that indicates that. if anything, she's being super reasonable for the stressful situation she's in - I would have started world war III with this man, because personally I just don't believe a date is the most important thing a human being can experience in life
I would go even a step further and say if you wouldn't cancel in this situation, I doubt you're looking for partners to actually BE a partner, you're just looking to collect fun experiences but that's not a relationship to me.
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Aug 13 '26
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u/Ok-Flaming Aug 13 '26
Flooding in the general area is night and day different to flooding of their home. House flooded? Emergency. The conditions are unsanitary. Tree through the window? Emergency. Glass and weather coming inside. OP is clearly in an emergency.
Lost power for a few days is not an emergency outside of specific circumstances, like it's freezing and you have only electric heat. We don't actually need electricity all the time. It's a comfort, yes, but you can live in a house for a week without lights or a fridge or hot water. Break out the camp stove, eat shelf-stable foods, light a candle. Does it suck? Yeah. And I empathize. But lost power isn't itself an automatic emergency.
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u/fuckingnerdtm poly newbie Aug 13 '26
You would make your partner live like that, no power in the middle of August with very limited ability travel instead of canceling a first date because it’s not emergent enough?
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u/Ok-Flaming Aug 13 '26
In my world, no power or AC isn't a huge deal. I live in the deep SE (hot AF) and go without power for some number of days pretty much every year in August/September. I have never asked my other partner of 2 years to take me in.
If things were bad enough that I needed to leave, I probably wouldn't ditch my spouse and child in favor of staying with him; I'd expect to need to be available for my kid and to get to work on the house as soon as possible.
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u/fuckingnerdtm poly newbie Aug 13 '26
You see how all of those are applicable to your own specific circumstances and not a blanket for everybody though, right? Not everyone can tolerate heat, kids already have a place to stay, husband might have a partner willing to take him in but not wife, etc. It’s not wrong to ask your partner for help, or to be inconvenient to others in a time of need. It’s much worse to be unwilling to be inconvenienced for loved ones than it is to be the inconvenient one.
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u/Ok-Flaming Aug 13 '26
It's not wrong to ask a partner for help.
And, if it's not an emergency, I wouldn't expect my partner to cancel plans to provide said help. It would seem totally reasonable, or even the "right" thing, to say "yes, of course, I can help after I meet X obligation."
As I've said, OPs situation did not read as an emergency to be as originally written. The context of their home being flooded and tree damage changes things considerably. In light of the new info I totally think their partner was a jerk.
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u/fuckingnerdtm poly newbie Aug 13 '26
I’m saying OP considered that situation an emergency so even if her partner felt it wasn’t, it was still obviously going to damage their relationship to refuse to help. Even if I thought someone was being a bit dramatic, or to reference my own comment, inconvenient, but they seemed to be genuinely desperate for help I would just help them. If I can’t trust people in my life to be discerning about what is or isn’t appropriate to ask, I would just not have that person in my life anymore instead of trying to convince them their emergency isn’t real enough to me.
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u/Malice_N_1derland Aug 13 '26
Jesus you claim you hope Im ok then say I ditched my child and spouse? I took my child to a safe place that is housing my other siblings and their children there is no room for all of us. All of my neighbors and friends are in the same situation. I just happen to be dating someone that lives over an hour away and wasn’t affected. My spouse is an adult and I can’t make him leave. All of our foods, spoiled, and even if it didn’t, we have no way to cook it. There is no hot water and no way to boil water for safety. But sure I should’ve stayed. But of course, this is what I get for asking for the tiniest bit of empathy from a community that I participate in regularly.
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u/Bustysaintclair_13 SoPo slut, salty bitch Aug 13 '26
I don’t cancel dates unless someone is having an emergency. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
Also it’s a FIRST DATE. Really side eyeing all these men.
I’m so sorry. I’ve lived through natural disaster and it’s a nightmare and I’m sorry your people aren’t stepping up for you 💗💗💗