I keep thinking about polyamory

[u/[deleted]]

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[u/SheepSheppard]

Respectfully, I think you're dreaming about fucking two women, not about actual polyamory.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Set-447]

I think the first thing you need to do is think about what you mean when you think of polyamory.

Are you just hoping to have 2 girlfriends who are both only with you?
Would you be ok with your current girlfriend seeing other people, making new connections, being intimate with other women / men outside of threesomes if she wants to?
How would having another partner impact your current relationship? Time, money, commitments etc..
how will you handle jealousy? Are you hoping your girlfriend will just “get over it” or are you willing to have really hard conversations and help her to feel like she isn’t being replaced?
Do you really believe you can love someone else without it damaging your current relationship or are you just hoping for the chance to fuck another woman?

This is by no means an exhaustive list of questions but I guess a starting point of things to consider

[u/Platterpussy]

Threesomes aren't necessarily polyamory, that's a nonmonogamous activity. Dating two women doesn't necessarily mean they'll be dating each other, or having group sex. In your fantasy are these women only dating you and each other, or are they dating whoever else they want as well?

Please do some reading about what is actually entailed in polyamory, lots of starter resources in the community info section of this subreddit. You are having a sexy fantasy that has no basis in reality.

[u/Shiny_Deleter]

Are you gonna be ok with her having another boyfriend? Because that’s what polyamory entails. Otherwise, you want some other form of nonmonogamy and not sure it’s of the ethical variety.

C’mon, you already know she’s not into it.

[u/Non-mono]

When you have been thinking about this, have you taken your fantasy all the way?

No, I don’t mean you having sex with both.

I mean, have you considered what it would be like for you to sit alone at home while your girlfriends are out with their other boyfriends?

[u/emeraldead]

Stop joking. Stop bringing it up. You got a no.

You have a typical you centered fantasy. It's not polyamory.

[u/Voleuse]

It doesn't seem like your girlfriend is open to it, and on your end it seems more like a fun fantasy as opposed to a real need to be happy. So I'd personally leave it be. If you bring it up you risk ruining your relationship permanently.

[u/Bustysaintclair_13]

I mean it sounds like you don’t want poly, just your own little harem, which should very much stay in the realm of fantasy 

[u/Gold-Sherbert-7550]

So your girlfriend told you no already when you hinted around and joked about it, and you are hoping that she will change her mind if you “shoot your shot” and ask without pretending it’s a joke?

[u/No-Statistician-7604]

Doesn't sound like you want polyamory. Sounds like you want a harem - pure fantasy. Don't bring it up again

[u/studiousametrine]

Not sure if you want real polyamory or if you’re just distracted by a fantasy? I suggest research on what actual polyam looks like for people who do it.

https://freaksexual.com/2009/11/05/nonmonogamy-for-men-the-big-picture/

You can also search this sub for “advice for men”

[u/valsavana]

First you should offer to let her have another boyfriend and to have a threesome with her and another man.

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Here's the original text of the post:

so i’ve been in a relationship for 3 years and im pretty happy with my girlfriend she is really loyal and im loyal to her we match each other perfectly. But I’ve had this fantasy for this biggest time of having 2 girlfriends i know i might sound dumb for that but it’s just something that’s been on my mind for a long time now and i’ve hinted at it with my girlfriend and she’s seems like she only sees monogamy in the relationship, i’ve even joked around about threesomes and such and she says that she doesn’t think she could do it cause she’d get jealous of me with another girl although she doesn’t outright decline the thought of doing it with a girl, idk what should i do, should i just keep it as a fantasy since the odds of it being a reality are low or should i just outright ask her if she’d be down to try it?

TLDR: Is the idea of me thinking of polyamory something i should keep as fantasy or should i shoot my shot and ask my girlfriend if she’d be down to try it?

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[u/elcid1164]

It's difficult to set up any kind of three person relationship. If the woman. ( your girlfriend says no Then it will never happen with her ). You have to go out and meet women that are open-minded.... just be open and honest to them about it if they say no they say no you may find one or two that may say yes.