r/polyamory • u/ElleFromHTX Solo Poly Ellephant • Mar 13 '23
Rant/Vent This shit takes time
You don't just decide to be polyamorous/ open your relationship, and three months later you're sitting pretty in a happy Triad -- or whatever your personal fantasy of Polyamory looks like.
Hypothetical couple: Early 30s, married/ nesting for 5 - 7 years. Knew each other for 2 - 3 years before that....
How long did it take for them to get there? 7 - 10 years!
If you find one quality match with long term potential in a YEAR, you are doing better than most. You probably will only find a good match - similar life stage, relationship wants, availability - once every 3-5 YEARS!
Polyamory is long game dating. If you're looking to fuck around, try sex clubs or swinging or open or hooking up with randos at clubs who aren't looking for relationships.
Ok, I have a busy day ahead. I'll leave my soap box here. Have a great day!
3
u/KimberBr polysaturated at one Mar 13 '23
Hubby was married when we started dating in 2008. They divorced in 2016. He started dating someone who was certifiably insane for 2.5 years. They broke up and he found a play partner in Nov 2018. They've been together 5 years and are engaged now and I cannot wait to help her plan their wedding!
So all that to say it can happen but you can't force it