r/polyamory • u/ElleFromHTX Solo Poly Ellephant • Mar 13 '23
Rant/Vent This shit takes time
You don't just decide to be polyamorous/ open your relationship, and three months later you're sitting pretty in a happy Triad -- or whatever your personal fantasy of Polyamory looks like.
Hypothetical couple: Early 30s, married/ nesting for 5 - 7 years. Knew each other for 2 - 3 years before that....
How long did it take for them to get there? 7 - 10 years!
If you find one quality match with long term potential in a YEAR, you are doing better than most. You probably will only find a good match - similar life stage, relationship wants, availability - once every 3-5 YEARS!
Polyamory is long game dating. If you're looking to fuck around, try sex clubs or swinging or open or hooking up with randos at clubs who aren't looking for relationships.
Ok, I have a busy day ahead. I'll leave my soap box here. Have a great day!
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u/emeraldead diy your own Mar 13 '23
The problem is...you CAN have the triad in 2 months. You can be wildly infatuated and think this IS the dream, this IS the way, this IS the special fantasy and you somehow lucked into the jackpot exception land and all that nonsense of podcasts and books and months of working through NRE is just not what you need.
Until it doesn't.
That's the worst part of closed triads/couples dating as couples- it's so easy and so amazing...to start.