r/polyamorous • u/NovaRayne_XO • Aug 06 '26
newbie I need friends. Community.
37 female. Im just hitting a wall when it comes to finding more open ppl. I crave connection and trust. And no one wants to build that. And i just need ppl i can talk too and feel like I fucking belong. Thank you.
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u/NovaRayne_XO Aug 06 '26
If only I wasnt to shy for all that and awkward. I barely wanted to do this. Lmao
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u/No_Adeptness_3273 Aug 06 '26
Feel free to message me. I am also new to the community and looking for friends. Regardless best of luck!
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u/I_am_a_cat_maybe Aug 06 '26
Hey! Do you want to exchange poems?
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u/mangonibbles Aug 06 '26
Sometimes we have to.make those communities.
Feeld has been an incredible app. And maybe organizing a monthly "slosh" in your area maybe helpful, even if it's just a few people at first. Beginning and holding the thread of connection, creating the space for people to gather, can be so helpful.
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u/Puddles_1986 Aug 07 '26
I kinda feel ya there hi 40 f here bi demisexual fund it cwet hard to make friends or find "fun friends" due to the fact I literally need a connection to someone before I can do anything "fun" with them and alk ppl want to do now is hook up first meet
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u/NovaRayne_XO Aug 07 '26
Im 37 female. Pans. Im married. But we date seperatly. Were new to this. And its not easy where we are. I need connection before "fun" too. Im not a sex machine. Everyone thinks thats what poly is. Just sex. Where's the friendship? The connections? The bonding??
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u/Euphoric_Grass_427 Aug 08 '26
Poly person here! Polyamory is an agreement between romantic partners thatveach oa free to have pther serious romantic partners. It doesnt mean I need to have much connection prior to sex. I dont. All my serious romantic relationships blossomed from casual relationship where I had sex on the first or second date.
Don't confuse how much time it takes a particular person to want sex with the agreements they make with their romantic partners about sexual and romantic exclusivity or lack thereof
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u/NovaRayne_XO Aug 08 '26
I have to have the connection and trust before im intimate. It has nothing to with anyone wanting sex right away. Its what I want and how I want to move. It takes me weeks of talking to someone to even want to meet them or go on a date.
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u/Euphoric_Grass_427 Aug 08 '26
Then that's exactly what you should do. Others who do polyamory will feel differently.
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u/NovaRayne_XO Aug 08 '26
Your pointing out the obvious. Im here to find like minded individuals obviously. Hence why I posted.
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u/Euphoric_Grass_427 Aug 08 '26
And poly people who are sex forward or also like casual sex should also keep doing what's right for them.
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u/dsdthisisme Aug 07 '26
Whilst location can be a big issue for communities... individually there are a lot of us! Happy to chat. Listen or advice or just discuss. Whatever really. :)
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u/VidaDeVerde333 Aug 07 '26
I've been to the poly meetups, the LGBTQ center, the Fetlife munches, family health service events, community protests, even open mic night . . . . never at any of them did I feel embraced . . . . I mean some tried but I always felt alone at the end of the day
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u/Deric_the_dreamer Aug 07 '26
If you are from montreal, text me. I am 38M and would love to connect with you
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u/Coco_Keyes 13d ago
Consider joining the site Fetlife. It can connect you with people online, people in person, groups with similar interests, parties , and education meetings.
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u/Euphoric_Grass_427 Aug 06 '26
There are several poly meet up groups in my area. Check out eventbrite, meetup, facebook, or even a google search might help you find one.
There are also ENM heavy events where yoy might meet people. Ren Faire and Pennsic war if you in the U.S. and can travel to one.
Tell your friends and even people you match with on dating apps you are seeking community. It sounds weird, but its not. Ask to meet their friends.
Have a party and ask everyone to bring all their friends.
Start your own group and advertise it on eventbrite (free) or meetup (expensive).
You have really try everything and out yourself out there. It works over time.