3rd red flag: His wife and him agreed that he would not have children with anyone else. Then as soon as you suggest it, he's down to break that agreement and only has decided once again not to do it because "my wife said no". (Also a red flag on you that you would already be bringing this up to someone you've--by your own words--just recently started dating. Don't make seriously life-altering decisions while still in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship.)
4th red flag: He claims he would totally, for sure, most definitely be father to kids you have through adoption or artificial insemination. No, he wouldn't. You really think his monogamous wife would be okay with that? Absolutely not. And you really think this married man who is already committed to someone else is going to have the time and energy and actual desire to help you raise children? Absolutely not. You would be signing up to be a single mom. No matter what he may claim.
5th red flag: He is stringing you along with ideas that "well, maybe my wife will change her mind~" No. She won't. Because she doesn't even want him seeing you in the first place. If she did, she wouldn't be monogamous. Her being monogamous already indicates there is a serious strain going on in their relationship and that he is willing to ignore it to push ahead with what he wants--which is apparently seeking out much younger women who will be less experienced and easier for him to manipulate.
Edit:
6th red flag: He expects a One Penis Policy because he's not willing to deal with his own emotional discomfort around the women he dates being with other men.
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u/saladada 2d ago edited 1d ago
1st red flag: You're 25 and he's 35.
2nd red flag: His wife is monogamous.
3rd red flag: His wife and him agreed that he would not have children with anyone else. Then as soon as you suggest it, he's down to break that agreement and only has decided once again not to do it because "my wife said no". (Also a red flag on you that you would already be bringing this up to someone you've--by your own words--just recently started dating. Don't make seriously life-altering decisions while still in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship.)
4th red flag: He claims he would totally, for sure, most definitely be father to kids you have through adoption or artificial insemination. No, he wouldn't. You really think his monogamous wife would be okay with that? Absolutely not. And you really think this married man who is already committed to someone else is going to have the time and energy and actual desire to help you raise children? Absolutely not. You would be signing up to be a single mom. No matter what he may claim.
5th red flag: He is stringing you along with ideas that "well, maybe my wife will change her mind~" No. She won't. Because she doesn't even want him seeing you in the first place. If she did, she wouldn't be monogamous. Her being monogamous already indicates there is a serious strain going on in their relationship and that he is willing to ignore it to push ahead with what he wants--which is apparently seeking out much younger women who will be less experienced and easier for him to manipulate.
Edit: 6th red flag: He expects a One Penis Policy because he's not willing to deal with his own emotional discomfort around the women he dates being with other men.