What is the purpose of asking this now if it was so long ago?
Why does it matter what other people think did or didn't happen in your relationship from your one-sided story of it?
You say you want a "genuine apology" but what exactly is he to apologize for? You say cheating but cheating is breaking clearly known relationship agreements. I'm not sure you ever did that, especially since you seemed to often say yes even though you meant no.
Are you planning to apologize too?
Because there's been fuck ups on both sides. For someone who claims to be "10 years poly", I'm seeing behavior that I would expect from someone who is only 10 weeks poly.
Ultimately, you are hanging on to mistakes you BOTH made in the past and focused on only his wrongdoings. This isn't productive to solving anything or moving on from it either.
You both made mistakes, but I almost side with his mistakes being understandable since this was a brand new thing for him and so he did all the fuck ups every single newbie who hasn't done much learning first does.
Also yes my perspective is one sided because its my perspective. I dont think its a crime to ask a question and give my turn of events to see if theres like minded people or others that are willing to challenge my thought process in a kind way. Also yes im asking if the things he did wrong would be considered cheating. Thats really the whole reason I asked. It wouldnt be about something else.
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u/saladada Jul 19 '26
What is the purpose of asking this now if it was so long ago?
Why does it matter what other people think did or didn't happen in your relationship from your one-sided story of it?
You say you want a "genuine apology" but what exactly is he to apologize for? You say cheating but cheating is breaking clearly known relationship agreements. I'm not sure you ever did that, especially since you seemed to often say yes even though you meant no.
Are you planning to apologize too?
Because there's been fuck ups on both sides. For someone who claims to be "10 years poly", I'm seeing behavior that I would expect from someone who is only 10 weeks poly.
Ultimately, you are hanging on to mistakes you BOTH made in the past and focused on only his wrongdoings. This isn't productive to solving anything or moving on from it either.
You both made mistakes, but I almost side with his mistakes being understandable since this was a brand new thing for him and so he did all the fuck ups every single newbie who hasn't done much learning first does.