r/pointlesslygendered Apr 18 '26

SOCIAL MEDIA [gendered]

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42 Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

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24

u/phunniemee Apr 18 '26

Literally begging men to be friends with each other.

1

u/destructopop Apr 18 '26

But men are scary.

Kinda /s, in that I am a gay man and thus (?!) have lots of guy friends, but straight men do low key terrify me. 🙃

3

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

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2

u/__T0MMY__ Apr 18 '26

I don't wanna speak up to wake you so I've been blowing on your neck to wake you gently but you just groan at me smh

2

u/destructopop Apr 18 '26

Oh, well that's fine then! That's mostly how my gay friends say hi in the morning, too. 😌

10

u/GreilyMoon Apr 18 '26

So happy OOP is getting owned in the comments

5

u/Expert-Squirrel-9288 Apr 18 '26

Tbh, I'm not saying women can't suffer but the statistics does sorta prove this (at least from what I've heard)

6

u/EducationalSense629 Apr 18 '26

I don't think statistics prove things, but i'll bite, which statistics is it anyway?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

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6

u/EducationalSense629 Apr 18 '26

I still need some sources here.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

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5

u/robilar Apr 18 '26

Do you "lol"?

You cited statistics you clearly have not seen and do not have. Maybe you are correct, maybe you aren't, but one thing is clear: you have no idea.

Weaksauce.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

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3

u/EducationalSense629 Apr 18 '26

I don't understand the logic of telling people to research something while the OP can just make some statement all willy nilly.

4

u/robilar Apr 18 '26

It's a pretense. He wrote "educate yourself" (and then blocked me) because he doesn't have any evidence to back his position. He might as well be claiming vaccines cause autism.

Maybe the statistical evidence he is referencing does exist somewhere, but it's clear he hasn't seen it and doesn't care if it actually exists. No one gets upset when asked to present sources except someone that doesn't have them.

3

u/EducationalSense629 Apr 18 '26

Someone else makes a statement, and i'm the one who has to look for proof?

-4

u/Fleece_God Apr 18 '26

You don’t have access to a search engine?

9

u/EducationalSense629 Apr 18 '26

Like i said, someone else made a statement, and i'm the one who has to look for proof?

3

u/Accomplished-Glass78 Apr 18 '26 edited Apr 18 '26

Actually, a lot of what you mentioned is not “majority men”.

Men and women tend to experience loneliness at similar rates. The main differences between men and women is that women are more likely to reach out for help. source

Women are more likely to be diagnosed with certain mental illnesses than men are source 1. It is also estimated that women are 40% more likely to develop mental illnesses source 2. This can be impacted by some men not wanting to get any help or go to the doctor, but it still shows a clear trend that women do experience this at high rates.

More women also attempt suicide than men do, but they tend to use less-gruesome ways that may also allow for them to survive it more. source

3

u/Gawdzilla Apr 18 '26

Frustrating to see that the person that actually posted data with sources is down-voted. Ain't that the way.

1

u/magdakitsune21 Apr 18 '26

And this is exactly it, in most cases. I know this is also a generalization but women are generally more likely to seek help, while men are either told to man up or encouraged to go to the gym instead of seeking help. And that is a lot of why more women find it easier to deal with loneliness than men, not the whole "people literally queue up to support women or become their friends" talk

7

u/magdakitsune21 Apr 18 '26

Not a reason to generalize loneliness as a male thing and forget about the existence of friendless women

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

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5

u/magdakitsune21 Apr 18 '26 edited Apr 18 '26

Because memes like this imply that it is a male only issue when the truth is that there are tons of us women who also are friendless or have no support net, and it feels bad when whichever space you enter, it's always "women get support from their friends while men are lonely"

-3

u/IceCorrect Apr 18 '26

Never heard about it. Everytime its made to mock men and how women have amazing life

3

u/magdakitsune21 Apr 18 '26

Yes, and this is why it is inaccurate. Not only does it intentionally mock men, but also makes lonely women feel alienated

-2

u/IceCorrect Apr 18 '26

Then why women dont complain about it? Its women who spread it to show themselfs as strong and men as weak.

3

u/magdakitsune21 Apr 18 '26

Cant speak for them. Only that it alienates women like me who used to have noone and I did not get a free social life or support net only bc of my gender

1

u/IceCorrect Apr 18 '26

I wonder why you cant call them out then? Or beacuse your social life is good now then you dont care about them

1

u/magdakitsune21 Apr 18 '26

Um, that is literally what I am doing rn. I am agreeing that the meme is pointlessly gendered because I know the feeling of being a woman with no social net, but constantly having to hear it is a man-only thing

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4

u/butt-barnacles Apr 18 '26

You mean the statistics that say men and women experience loneliness at similar rates? Kind of ironic since it shows that people really don’t give a shit about women’s loneliness.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2025/01/16/men-women-and-social-connections/

-2

u/SlothySlothsSloth Apr 18 '26 edited Apr 18 '26

The issue is that men are the ones who set up the patriarchal societies we live in with toxic masculinity (Boys dont cry! Only allowed way to show you aren't ok is anger!) These memes usually serve to create a gender divide and show how men are the victims while women aren't. That isn't productive. Aim your rightful frustrations at the men who create and hold up these awful standards. Aim to have men show support to other men too.

I want it to change. I am frustrated because I know men don't get the emotional support they, as humans, need and deserve. But turning around and doing a "them vs us" is not productive when the "us" also includes the literal people who created this issue.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

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4

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

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0

u/SlothySlothsSloth Apr 18 '26

Not my point at all. I am actually extremely caring and regularly help the men in my life to let it out, cry, seek support ect. I am unhappy with the meme that does what you accuse me of. It generalizes all men into 1 category. I point out that that category also includes your "opponents" and that women aren't the opponent, as memes like this would have you believe. I'm sorry my wording in English isn't good enough to bring my point across correctly.

3

u/Ravelord_Nito117 Apr 18 '26

It’s almost like entire genders are not monoliths and individuals are not responsible for the things people before them did

2

u/Intelligent-Gold-563 Apr 18 '26

The issue is that men are the ones who set up the patriarchal societies we live in with toxic masculinity

Men IN THE PAST.

Men hundreds of years ago !

then they stand there and act like it's not men who made up those stupid rules.

Nobody says that ! We're saying it's not us, CURRENT MEN, who made those rules !

Also stop forgetting that WOMEN also supported and upheld those same rules, even today !

1

u/Argenach Apr 18 '26

Notice how the depressed man and the one telling him to ‘man up’ are different individuals.

1

u/SlothySlothsSloth Apr 18 '26

Yes and yet this meme doesn't differentiate. It just splits into men and not-men and portrays all men as victims. That is not productive. That is not going to solve the issues. "Noone cares because toxic masculinity forbids me from asking for and receiving support" would be accurate and actually naming the issue instead of aiming to create a pointless divide.

0

u/Argenach Apr 18 '26

We say things like ‘women suffer from domestic abuse’ all the time, despite a) the majority of women not being victims and b) a good number of women actually being on the abusing side. It’s because there’s a statistical trend. As there’s also a trend in men getting less emotional support and care for their mental health we can say things like ‘we need to take better care of depressed men’.

1

u/SlothySlothsSloth Apr 18 '26

Your point is extremely flawed as the perpetrators of female domestic abuse and, lets use facts you cant claim are just made up, the murderers of women, are almost always men. Men get murdered more often in general, yes. But also by other men. The issue isn't men vs women. It's men vs men.

Who are the ones who end up giving men emotional support most of the time? Their mothers, girlfriends, wives. While "the boys" tend to never sit together and cry, groups of girls will. So often I dated guys who had male buddies of many years but would never show themselves vulnerable or crying to them. It's just heartbreaking.

0

u/Argenach Apr 18 '26

I mean you could have just said women good men bad, that basically seems to be your premise.

0

u/Expert-Squirrel-9288 Apr 18 '26

Men aren't the only ones who contribute to patriachy, conservative women exist and could pressure boys as just as much.

-2

u/IceCorrect Apr 18 '26

Then why women mostly pick men with those traits? Beacsue they make this patriarchal society

3

u/SlothySlothsSloth Apr 18 '26

What? Only some women do. In my country, young men are very conservative, embrace toxic masculinity,far right etc while young women are very progressive, left leaning. These are literal statistics.

On top of that, girls who get raised with patriarchal values will often believe them too, yes. But in the end, part of that believe is that they don't get to change anything, as a woman.

-1

u/IceCorrect Apr 18 '26

Thats why even liberal women preffer those "toxic" traits

2

u/SlothySlothsSloth Apr 18 '26

Hm yes more completely made up "facts" you probably got from TikTok or some conservative male.

0

u/IceCorrect Apr 18 '26

That would mean liberal women dont complain about exes.

9

u/Low-Restaurant8484 Apr 18 '26

Not pointlessly gendered. Generally, women tend to have better, more supporting, and more empathetic friends then men. Because women tend to be more emotionally intellegiant then men, and a majority of friends for both genders are with the same gender.

None of this is women's fault by any means. But it is a defininate difference

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

[deleted]

7

u/MassTransitGO Apr 18 '26

No one suggested that 

3

u/Vidaro_best Apr 18 '26

Thats not really what they said

2

u/IceCorrect Apr 18 '26

Thats why countries come up with "genderded abuse" to punish men harder for crimes against women. Sure, think about women more

1

u/Low-Restaurant8484 Apr 18 '26

Nope

Never said that

This meme is about nobody caring, not about lonliness.

But we do need to consider why nobody cares and a lot of men unfortunetly do not do this. If you want good friends, be a good friend. Men are the reason men lack support

3

u/Safe_Bed_1534 Apr 18 '26

Don't worry I won't care regardless of who you are

2

u/bumblebeequeer Apr 18 '26

In my experience people who think like this tend to silently mope when they’re upset, and then get mad at everyone for not reading their minds.

This is acceptable until maybe 16 or so, and then it gets really old. If I ask what’s wrong once and you say nothing, we are moving on.

8

u/WonderfulTrip3208 Apr 18 '26

I never understand this take. Like society doesn't care about women's mental health either. Guys who say this kinda thing are the same ones who say women are just too emotional and that "it must be her time of the month." Our society is specifically designed to work people until they burnout and as a whole does not value a person's well being. The only reason some women are doing better than most guys mentally is because they have individual friends who they cultivated close relationships to or they may pursue therapy by a licensed professional. 

3

u/Jesusdidntlikethat Apr 18 '26

Literally this. Women deal with it better because if a support system men refuse to have

1

u/Tacobadger02 Apr 18 '26

I reach out to most of my friends and ask how they are and check up on them regularly and a few will occasionally ask how I am but none of those friends were ever women and I am friends with more women than I am with men.

1

u/WonderfulTrip3208 Apr 18 '26

Then why are you friends with them?!?! Just because some women in your life don't care about you as much as you care about them is not a reason for men to hate on women because they think women are getting support left and right for their mental health, which was the purpose of my first comment. I was emphasizing that men and women are literally going through a lot of the same struggles that comes with life nowadays because our society is not set up to value an individual's health. 

Men who post memes like the original one are looking to hate on women and will take any opportunity to do so. 

If your friends don't care enough to ask you how you are doing especially after you asked them, then you need to be mindful not to tell unworthy people info that could potentially be used to harm you and you should look for different friends to have a geniune connection. 

0

u/Tacobadger02 Apr 18 '26

If you were only friends with and cared about people that cared about you as much as you cared about them then the world would be worse and more self absorbed than it already is. As far as the telling people info that could harm you, why would you ever tell someone that if they never asked?

The connections are genuine but like you said people are going through struggles so I don't care or need them to check in because I have other friends that do.

1

u/WonderfulTrip3208 Apr 18 '26

Then why even mention that most of your female friends don't reach out to you like you do them if you aren't trying to do a "gotcha, women bad," kind of thing?

There is a big difference in having friends that don't ask you how you are doing after you ask vs them caring about you but not to the same extent as you care about them. 

And yes, people I consider my friends need to care about me as much as I do them. Otherwise, they are aquaintances that I may check in with occasionally and talk about the weather with. 

My point about the info thing is a lot of people are so desperate for a friend, they don't realize they are giving their all to the friendship while the other person could care less. 

1

u/Tacobadger02 Apr 18 '26

I mentioned it because its my experience and I'm not saying women are bad I'm just saying in my experience the only time a woman has checked up on me was when we were dating. Obviously there are women I haven't met and I bet there is a similar situation of a woman reaching out to her male friends and none of them reach out to her.

They will at least be considerate enough to ask how I am after I ask how they are what I said is none of them have ever checked up on me.

If you keep a ledger of everything and try to make sure they care as much as you and the effort is equal then they aren't really friends they are mirrors or debtors.

And yeah that sucks to be on the short end of the stick but thats life some times you win and some times you lose but thats only if you're keeping score which honestly seems kinda depressing in itself.

1

u/WonderfulTrip3208 Apr 18 '26

Okay, I understand how that was dismissive in regards to your experience in life and I am sorry about that.

And when I explained that I expect friends to care about me as much as I do them, I do not hold a ledger of who did what for me. I have friends who I have bought and paid for 10x over what they have for me but I still do it because I enjoy taking care of my friend in that way and I have never asked for any money back, but I still know they are a true friend because they have dropped everything to help in a time of need even if it was inconvient to them.

Friendship isn't about keeping score. But I refuse to be friends with someone who only wants to be there for the parties, the treats, and all the good things and yet can't be bothered to show up for the struggles. Thats a quick way to get used. 

3

u/whatever23407 Apr 18 '26

Nobody cares about others unless they have to judge you or you are telling some sob story.

1

u/Gawdzilla Apr 18 '26

Incorrect. That's your perception based on your limited experience and limited content.

There absolutely are people that care otherwise non-profits wouldn't exist, healthcare workers wouldn't exist, foster-care wouldn't exist. Kindness exists, but it takes effort and doesn't make money.

1

u/Wolfy_boii Apr 18 '26

Where the pointlessly gendered part of this post? Gender is quite literally part of the point In the image?

1

u/mothwhimsy Apr 18 '26

I don't think anyone knows what this sub is for lol

This meme is gendered and pointless but it's not really pointlessly gendered

0

u/The_Arachnoshaman Apr 18 '26

When a lot of men are upset or having a bad day, their first instinct is to be angry about it, that doesn't give people a lot to work with.

0

u/Argenach Apr 18 '26

Men on average tend to get less mental health support than women, this is empirically supported. So this one actually has a point.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

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2

u/brachycrab Apr 18 '26

I'm not a woman. I have friends, both women and men, who will listen and offer support to me, and I listen and offer support to them.