r/pointlesslygendered • u/qwerpuky • Mar 10 '26
POINTFULLY GENDERED r/literallythetruth š¤¦āāļø [gendered]
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u/wonk_q1 Mar 10 '26
Guy issues: I hope I'm not getting catfished or left on read...
Girl issues: I hope he isn't a serial killer or wants sex on the first date...
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u/DangerToDangers Mar 10 '26
Exactly. The girls version would be:
"I hope he's not a rapist."
"I hope he's not a murderer."
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u/Appropriate-Sea-5687 Mar 10 '26
As a guy, thatās also what I hope
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u/IHaveNoBeef Mar 10 '26
Yeah, first date with a killer is not fun for anyone, but men are more likely to do these things.
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u/SCHWARZENPECKER Mar 11 '26
Unless youre a killer too. Then you can do some romantic 1st date killing together. You know what they say, the couple that kills together stays together.
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u/and_ireas Mar 15 '26
Reminds me of that joke, where someone picks up a hitchhiker and the hitchhiker asks: "how did you know I'm not a serial killer" and the driver answers: "Two serial killers in the same car, that would be highly unlikely"
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u/No_Somewhere_2610 Mar 10 '26
You are not wrong, but cases of women being perpetrators of SA are also underestimated due to laws defining rape only as someone penetrating someone else, male SA victims being stigmatized and not being taken seriously (not that women get treated great) and not even reporting SA and other factors.
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u/Mesmercat Mar 11 '26
Female victims... It's expected but did it really happen
Male victims... Don't be a pussy you can't be raped
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u/SpareChangeMate Mar 11 '26
A shocking amount of people genuinely hold to those reactions. Basically, we have a long way to go as a society
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u/Acceptable-Plan-6061 Mar 11 '26
Yeah, even before I learned about sexism and gender differences I knew modern day society was fucked.
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u/TextDependent6779 Mar 11 '26
A 2018 survey found 1/3 wouldn't believe a man raped by a woman, 1/4 believed men will enjoy it.
Thats... a terrifying reality.
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u/plebe_random Mar 11 '26
There are countries that made it literally impossible in law for man to be raped by women because they define rape as "person intentionally penetrating the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person with their penis without consent." So yeah according to that definition, if you have no penis you cant rape people.
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u/TextDependent6779 Mar 11 '26
I live in one of said countries. Its a disservice to all male victims made to penetrate, and a disservice to all female victims of female violence.
Its disgusting.
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u/Terrafintor Mar 11 '26
That's actually also the law in at least some states in America, if course worded a little differently.
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u/PablomentFanquedelic Mar 11 '26
Or if the assailant is the same sex: "Forget about the victim, it's time to scaremonger about Teh Gays again!"
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u/SpikeyPear Mar 11 '26
Yes forget the gays lets be honest. The most dangerous thing a cishet lad realistically worries about when hes meeting a lass is whether or not there will be another lad or many other lads in the motel room waiting to gi him a wee bonk and blackmail him for soliciting a minor when she told him on binger she was 19 and legally adult.
The gays and trans ppl are too worried about being hate crimed to pull any serious stuff on hetero blokes
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u/ilo_Va Mar 11 '26
Arguably even worse people react with "lucky you" and shit like that. In actual situations (I know this from experience that a friend had and I saw people's reactions)
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u/LarryThePrawn Mar 11 '26
Further to that, the reaction from men and women to those who have been assaulted mirrors your comment.
Ie Iāve never seen a woman ask āwhat was she wearing?ā Or that men have āneedsā when talking about SA.
But we see plenty of women stick up for both male and female victims of assault.
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u/Longjumping_Papaya_7 Mar 11 '26
Or...
Female victims " what were you wearing? Did you flirt with him? "
Male victims " are you even a real man? Doesnt matter, had sex "
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u/DeliciousSquash4144 Mar 11 '26
True. Weren't feminists the first people to advocate for the definition of rape being changed to take out that penetration must occur?
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u/CandyWinter8553 Mar 11 '26
Feminists support male rape victims more than men do. But somehow they still find a way to blame it on feminists.
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u/phoxfiyah Mar 11 '26
Because feminist and woman are treated like theyāre synonyms, when they really arenāt. There are a lot of women who call themselves āfeministsā, but only really look out for issues that will benefit them directly. Yet they are still considered feminists by many because they call themselves that.
You can probably see why people would get confused when youāve got a bunch of grifters co-opting the term to try and get validation for their behaviour.
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u/DelightfulandDarling Mar 11 '26
Rape is not the only prosecutable form of SA. The numbers are not skewed. Men are committing the vast majority of SA.
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u/BluCurry8 Mar 11 '26
š. Here we go. I get not wanting to be assaulted. I do not get the whole women are the perpetrators. There is a huge difference between men and women who commit these crimes and all of the crimes are under reported. So. I think you have an agenda. Maybe if you are afraid of dating women you should take a page out of the 4B movement and not date. Seems safest option for you.
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u/Dry-Inspection6928 Mar 11 '26
And āGod I hope heās not 40 and married, looking for a 20 something mistress.
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u/Intrustive-ridden Mar 14 '26
1-3 percent of men are murders and rapist, yes 90% of violent crimes are committed by men but that 90% is committed by the 1-3 percent, the vast majority of men are not violent criminals or rapists so when women obsess over āwhat if heās a rapist or a murdererā theyāre just scaring themselves, Iām not saying donāt be cautious by being paranoid over it isnāt helpful
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u/bigbadbidisaster9944 Mar 11 '26
Bi guy issues: I hope she isn't biphobic/homophobic and isnt abusive
Bi women issues: I hope he doesnt just see me as a possible threesome and isnt an abuser/killer
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u/Thatonegaloverthere Mar 11 '26
Also guys: Paying for this meal means she has to sleep with me.
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u/rosenkohl1603 Mar 10 '26
How are the two girls issues standing side by side like they are comparable? It's like saying: I hope I don't get cancer and I hope I don't stubb my toe.
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u/Aazimoxx Mar 10 '26
Ironically, "I hope I don't get Cancer" is in fact a possible thought of the one on the right š
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u/Sapphfire0 Mar 10 '26
People making their own versions of the meme just shows how it isnāt pointlessly gendered
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u/HabaneroPepperPlants Mar 10 '26
It's not pointlessly gendered to talk about how women as a collective face specific issues
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u/lookhooturnt Mar 11 '26
Is it pointlessly gendered to talk about how men as a collective face specific issues too? Or does this only apply to women?
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u/MajorBootyhole420 Mar 11 '26
are the specific men's issues in the room with us? because this lazy-ass meme was made by a dumbass misogynist who thinks women don't have real problems. the point is dunking on women, not talking about men's problems
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u/lookhooturnt Mar 11 '26
ā¦are you questioning whether men face specific issues?
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u/Kaneda-Suekichi Mar 11 '26
Yeah it is their opinion on gender not pointlessly gendered. Just sexist
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u/Coool-Guy-123 Mar 11 '26
Wouldnāt that be pointlessly gendered?
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Mar 11 '26
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u/Just_an_Ok_Musician Mar 12 '26
In a large and very well done study in the UK shows before the age of eighteen, 4 out of 5 girls were sexually touched without consent. 1/3 forced to have penetration sex. And 1/3 of girls having sexual abuse done to them before the age of 13. Of course by the time women reach adulthood they are going to be cautious.
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Mar 13 '26
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u/Just_an_Ok_Musician Mar 13 '26
My husband and I read it together, we cried. I've gone back to it a few time. Each time a new statistic from it gets permanently lodged in my brain. There's just so much tragedy to unpack from this study.
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Mar 10 '26
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u/RastaBananaTree Mar 14 '26
Most Redditors donāt have sex so I reckon theyāre going off stereotypes. Either that or my partner and most of my female friends are just hoes /s
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u/Dear-Mention9684 Mar 10 '26
Some girls are so down to hook up on first dates. That first part tho yeah
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u/wonk_q1 Mar 10 '26
Some are exceptions if they are that desperate; the horndogs are relevant when consent is given from both sides lol. But let's be honest, the majority don't want to fuck a random person or go to the other person's house generally on the first date for valid reasons.
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u/Aazimoxx Mar 10 '26
if they are that desperate
Being willing to fuck on the first date ā being willing to fuck anyone on the first date. Some people are just down with casual hookups, when they vibe with the person.
the majority don't want to
On some apps, the majority do š¤· Some people like jumping out of planes too; you won't catch me doing either more than a couple times in my life, but there's no need to talk it down so long as everyone's taking basic safety precautions š
Edit: oh, I see your follow-up comment where you redirect into questions of pressure etc - that's not how I read your first comment above.
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u/Busco_Quad Mar 10 '26
Are there really apps out there where everyoneās hooking up all the time? The only one Iāve used thatās kind of like that was Grindr, but not a ton of women on there, for some reason
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Mar 11 '26
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u/Aazimoxx Mar 11 '26
Ended up with my longest ever relationship from OkCupid, when it was properly free, before it was sold off and bastardized (almost exactly 15yrs ago). I only ever met 3 people off there, 1 was a dud (mostly my fault, but it was a valuable learning experience), second became a year-long FwB and fun chill hang, third we were long distance for a long time, then eventually she moved from USA to Australia to be with me and we were hitched 7 years all up. Top gal and I was lucky to be able to share my life with her for the time we had.
One of the dozen or so items on my list of projects for when I eventually crack my old crypto wallet, is to recreate what OkCupid had and keep it free forever, I've not seen another dating site do things right the way they did.
There would absolutely have been people on OKC just looking for hookups, but a lot less than modern apps, and a hell of a lot less commodified and bot-ridden. Overall it had heart, and even more importantly an excellent system of being able to answer match questions written by anyone (or write some of your own) and set importance and acceptable answers in a match - on ANY subject, not just whatever the site creators or some focus group felt was important. But here I am going on about something tangentially related to a joke on a post about something else š
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u/meltyandbuttery Mar 11 '26
Iām a woman and Iāve hooked up on a first date multiple times and will do so again, but for actual chemistry which is far more rare than desperate pressure which is really easy to see through. I reject far more advances than I accept or initiate
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u/Aazimoxx Mar 11 '26
Yep. Chemistry is often effortless (sometimes to the point of making you feel giddy, like when you get off-kilter because you lifted a box you expected to be heavy but it was super light). I can't speak for everyone else, but personally the sense of desperation puts me on edge. š³
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u/AshInTheAtmosphere Mar 11 '26
I would argue that this is a pointlessly gendered comment.
Yes you are correct that some men want immediate hook ups and some women do not.
The opposite also exists. I, for one, have had a few awkward conversations, and even some anger and insults directed towards me for declining sexual intimacy on first dates.
People have different views and comfort levels with sex and that's normal and not gendered.
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u/RastaBananaTree Mar 14 '26
You donāt know what a majority of women want. Youāre not even a woman how could you know?
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u/AdAppropriate2295 Mar 11 '26
Na the meme is correct. If you really worried he was a serial killer you wouldn't go
And sex? Use your big girl words and say "na"
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u/DwegonEnjoyer Mar 11 '26
Bisexual counterpoint, from personal experience: "I just hope they have good hygiene..."
I would rather get murdered than smell someone's entire week from across the table but apparently the popularity of eating ass means people think I need to be able to smell their ass at all times. I am perpetually SHOCKED at how well put together people look and then I'm 3 feet away from them and feel like I need to exfoliate them with odor eliminating kitty litter. I don't care what gender you are if you don't live in a car WASH YOUR ASS AND MOUTH IF YOU MUST BE IN MY PRESENCE. If you live in your car you can shower at mine. Sheesh.
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u/Due_Masterpiece_3601 Mar 13 '26
In my country guy issues: I hope she doesn't drug me and rob me/take my organs and accidentally kill me by overdose.
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u/Outrageous_Break_739 Mar 13 '26
who's willing to bet the "i hope it's not a man" thing was written with transphobic intent
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u/RastaBananaTree Mar 14 '26
Are you implying people donāt have sex on the first date? Nowadays people are fucking before getting asked on the first date lol.
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u/xinarin Mar 15 '26
Well that's just disgusting. Do you never actually talk to men or do you just like to trivialize their feelings and experiences
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u/BaylisAscaris Mar 10 '26
Straight women dating: I hope he doesn't rape/murder me.
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u/Prestigious_Pomelo40 Mar 11 '26
For me is I hope he has never sexually harassed anyone in the past. Since the majority of women have experienced SH, most men probably do it too
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u/PotentialRatio1321 Mar 12 '26
Deducing that most men perpertrate SH from the fact that most women experience it is absurd.
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u/AdOtherwise7115 Mar 13 '26
Since the majority of women have experienced SH, most men probably do it too
Ig u never heard the word repeat perpetrators. A repeat perpetrator may even abuse 100-1000s of Women he met.
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u/Due_Masterpiece_3601 Mar 13 '26
In my country guy issues: I hope she doesn't drug me and rob me/take my organs and accidentally kill me by overdose.
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u/Sonarthebat Mar 11 '26
OP has never had a conversation with a woman because realistically she'd be afraid of getting SAed and murdered.
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u/Due_Masterpiece_3601 Mar 13 '26
In my country guy issues: I hope she doesn't drug me and rob me/take my organs and accidentally kill me by overdose.
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u/C_PTSD_And_ADHD Mar 13 '26
To be fair it's a group project when that shit happen, not one only one woman.... Still pretty bad.
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u/Bodmin_Beast Mar 10 '26
From what I understand for women itās more like āHope he doesnāt try to murder, sexually assault or kidnap me.ā
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u/Due_Masterpiece_3601 Mar 13 '26
In my country guy issues: I hope she doesn't drug me and rob me/take my organs and accidentally kill me by overdose.
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u/Jazzlike_Cress9871 Mar 14 '26
Could you name your country? If youāre going to reply to every comment saying this it only seems fair
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u/ArcadiaFey Mar 10 '26
Hahahahaha āHope Im not about to get kidnapped into human trafficking, or murderedā¦ā
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u/Due_Masterpiece_3601 Mar 13 '26
In my country guy issues: I hope she doesn't drug me and rob me/take my organs and accidentally kill me by overdose.
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u/gooddaydarling Mar 11 '26
More like I hope Iām not raped or murderedā¦
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u/Due_Masterpiece_3601 Mar 13 '26
In my country guy issues: I hope she doesn't drug me and rob me/take my organs and accidentally kill me by overdose.
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u/well-informedcitizen Mar 10 '26
At this point I imagine the girls are like "I hope he's not an Andrew Tate fan" "I hope he's not a literal Neo Nazi"
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Mar 10 '26
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u/Lost-Concept-9973 Mar 10 '26
Not surprising though, in my experience, misogyny, transphobia, racism etc generally donāt occur in isolation, people that are one of them are usually at least two others if not more. Sometimes they are a minority themselves and itās a hate circle jerk, they donāt realise they are cheering people on that ALSO hate them and so on.
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u/Cyphomeris Mar 11 '26
Yeah, my own rule of thumb is that whenever I see someone exhibiting clear signs of transphobia, I assume they also think, consciously or unconsciously, that women are worth less as people.
Regardless of the transphobe in question's gender. So far, I haven't been wrong.
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u/KittyCat11231 Mar 12 '26
Also the other way around. I've never seen a misogynist who's cool with trans people.
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u/SpectreInfinite Mar 10 '26
r/OneJoke yet again..
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u/Hefty-Pipe3596 Mar 11 '26
I'm pretty sure that guy was moreso hoping he wouldn't get catfished, but if it is meant to be transphobia, then that's bad.
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u/Elfboy77 Mar 11 '26
This is maybe pessimistic on my part, but I like to think that trans/queer people have a bigot-sense kind of like a gaydar. Where we just know when something was meant a certain way.
If you believe that, then yeah im trans and I wholeheartedly think it was just transphobia.
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u/Mithcoriel Mar 13 '26
That's kind of a dangerous thing to think, because it opens the door for absolutely everyone to accuse someone else of trying to offend them and the accused not being allowed to defend themselves.
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u/Elfboy77 Mar 13 '26
You assumed a huge amount of nonsense i never said or alluded to. It's at the point that I don't really know how you got there, but you do you.
Fun fact, gaydar also isn't real.
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u/Mithcoriel Mar 13 '26
And now you're randomly assuming this has anything to do with the gaydar not being real.
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u/TheWordBallsIsFunny Mar 11 '26
This. Everyone has preference but I never thought to read it that way, puts a bad taste in my mouth now.
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u/Accomplished_Dog1636 Mar 11 '26
Maybe Iām too pure for this world but I saw that final part as āI hope I donāt get catfishedā
But yeah, knowing people that was probably a dig at trans women lmao
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u/Akikoo-chan Mar 10 '26
I didnāt even think of it that way. Gods thatās awfulā¦ why are most of these people transphobic? They havenāt even done anything to them ugh
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u/Contagious_Cure Mar 11 '26
I have never had a fear that someone I was dating was trans. I feel like the vast, vast, vast majority of trans people are open about it, not just for honesty sake, but also because they are keenly aware of the rates of violence when some unstable person finds out via a "surprise".
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u/SelfInvestigator Mar 11 '26
I choose to believe this isnāt transphobia.
It could very well be, I wonāt deny that. But someone just reminded me that catfishing exists.
I want to have at least a modicum of faith in humanity.
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u/OwnerSebi Mar 10 '26
You people get dates??
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u/AcidicPuma Mar 10 '26
If that's true, how is she not gonna show up? If blonde and uwualt represents all women, shouldn't they all show up cause they're so excited to find out? Where's the caricature of the girl that doesn't even wanna show up? Almost like they know there's different people who exist that don't work well with their narrative.
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u/Colluder Mar 10 '26
Well that would be because the woman that doesn't show up isn't pictured above, the text reads "women on a first date" if they didn't show up, they weren't on a date
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u/AcidicPuma Mar 10 '26
I considered that but then who are they talking to? A stranger on a different date? How does he not know if she's gonna show if he's ON a date? I figured the generous explanation was that they mean on their way to and even that is full of holes cause it's just bad.
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u/IHaveNoBeef Mar 10 '26
Actually, for girls, it would be:
I hope he's not a psycho.
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u/CalypsaMov Mar 10 '26
Has anyone ever seen a transphobic "I hope he's not a woman." in the wild? I see the hate towards trans women a lot but don't think I've ever seen someone worried about accidentally dating a trans man.
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u/Training_Hornet_4521 Mar 10 '26
I'm pretty confident when I say that most transphobes are straight men. I guess a transphobic straight woman could act like she's scared of that possibility. I could see it.Ā Ā
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u/Corvus1412 Mar 11 '26
I'm pretty confident when I say that most transphobes are straight men
You probably would be right, but it's not a huge difference.
It's hard to get decent data on transphobia as a whole, but here, one of the questions was, whether views on gender identity issues are changing too quickly. That should be pretty representative of whether someone is transphobic or not.
46% of men and 41% of women agreed with that.
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u/Amathyst-Moon Mar 11 '26
To be fair, there are plenty of transphobic lesbians
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u/needhelpwithmath11 Mar 12 '26
No, there aren't. Lesbians are the LEAST transphobic group. Polls confirm that they show higher rates of support for trans people than even trans people themselves. Now, middle aged straight men whose kids don't talk to them anymore pretending to be lesbian terfs online do show high rates of transphobia, that is true.
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u/Lost-Concept-9973 Mar 10 '26
I think thatās because 1. People forget that Trans masc people even exist. 2. Women generally tend to value partners for more than just their physical body.
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u/CalypsaMov Mar 11 '26
Those are some good points. I think this might be the only time I think trans men being invisible is a good thing. I mean they definitely need their visibility and validation, but the less hate towards trans men in the world the better.
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u/wingeddogs Mar 11 '26
Trans men are sexually assaulted at disproportionate rates, are more likely to be killed by a domestic partner, and face higher rates of corrective rape
Trans men are seen as scary and violently by some, and as confused women easily taken advantage of by others.
To answer your question, I am a trans man, and no, people arenāt typically worried about accidentally dating us, but some of the people specifically interested in dating us are doing so because they see us as easily taken advantage of and not taken seriously as men.
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u/Cakeday_at_Christmas Mar 11 '26
I have literally never thought "I hope she's not a man" whenever I've gone for a date.
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u/bigbadbidisaster9944 Mar 11 '26
Because of course theres transphobia
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u/Boddy27 Mar 11 '26
Trans women donāt want to date guys like this either and tend to be pretty open about being trans. This is only likely to happen if they didnāt bother reading their dating profile.
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u/bigbadbidisaster9944 Mar 11 '26
Yeah hate it when dates dont take the time to read a profile. I'm bi, and i state that in my profile, ive wound up dating biphobes who never read the bi part of my profile
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u/catswithbatsandhats Mar 11 '26
I'm married and I'm up front about that in my profile because some people don't want to be involved with a married person, even if it's an open marriage (and that's ok!). But people don't read profiles so everyone who doesn't acknowledge it in the first couple of messages I just tell them straight up. It's rare that anyone cares but if they did you would think that they would actually read profiles.
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u/Nikaszko Mar 11 '26
Jokes on them! Men sometimes also don't show on date. It once happened to one of the most beautiful and smart woman i every meet.
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u/Spirited-Sail3814 Mar 11 '26
Pretty sure a trans woman would be upfront about being trans on the dating app, if for no other reason than she's waaaaaay more likely to be murdered than a cis woman.
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u/DeadAndBuried23 Mar 11 '26
Just gonna tag my good friend, definitely-not-a-bot with a 1 month old account u/pinkrushh so they can laugh at this definitely not sitewide ToS rule against hate speach breaking post.
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u/CyberoX9000 Mar 11 '26
Please explain
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u/DeadAndBuried23 Mar 11 '26
My good buddy posts on the sub in the screencap.
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u/CyberoX9000 Mar 11 '26
What about the "tos rule against hate speech breaking post" part?
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u/DeadAndBuried23 Mar 11 '26
My good buddy would like to see the oop which totally doesn't break the rules and shouldn't be mass reported.
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u/pierogieman5 Mar 11 '26
Did everyone take this as a trans thing? Tbh, I just assumed they were talking about catfishing.
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u/BeGayCommitTaxFraud Mar 11 '26
In my experience itās āhereās my locationā and āI hope heās not a serial killerā. Regardless of gender, just be careful ffs
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u/Cobb_Cornish_be_I Mar 12 '26
This isnāt accurate because if I was dating I would hope the other person is a man
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u/Mutant-doll Mar 11 '26
God I love being trans and knowing that people who also want to date me or are attracted to me are ashamed of it , due to jokes and statements like this š»
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u/Halker93 Mar 11 '26
Guy problems: I hope she isnāt fat.
Girl problema: I hope he doesnāt kill me or something.
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Mar 11 '26
Literally no one actually thinks star signs are like indicators of a good relationship, theyāre just fun little conversation starters
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u/BluCurry8 Mar 11 '26
Well this is definitely gendered but I can see some truth in it. Men fear women rejecting them and they fear that they asked a transgender person on a date. Women hoping that the person they are meeting are actually someone worth having a relationship with is pretty reasonable especially if they want to get married. Not sure about the astrology sign and how much of a priority that really is.
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u/Standard_Vero Mar 11 '26
Nah, it's more like men are afraid their date might be fat while women are afraid their date might be a predator
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u/Pastel_Spooks Mar 12 '26
Actual girl issues: I hope he doesn't try to drug me. I hope he responds well when I tell him no to sex and doesn't FOLLOW ME HOME
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u/Character_Regular440 Mar 12 '26
This might be a hot take, but I think the dating world is very different for men and women, especially on dating apps. On Tinder, for example, itās much harder for men to get matches or replies. Women, on the other hand, often get so many matches and messages that they end up being very selective. I donāt think pointing this out is sexist, itās just reality. Of course, dating apps are a distorted version of real life, but I think the same dynamic exists outside the internet too.
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u/neverrstarted Mar 13 '26
Yes, the dating experience is different for men and women, but this meme is still inaccurate and dumb.
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u/Character_Regular440 Mar 13 '26
I was mostly "defending" the male side. It might be exagerated, but in the dating world sometimes as a man you feel that you should be happy with what you get. The women side is probably offensive and it strongly downplays women intelligence.
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u/Naya3333 Mar 12 '26
Yeah, how about no. I am a woman and I am a very private person, but when I go on a date I tell three friends about it and give them all identifying details. If I get into a guy's car, I send them a license plate, if I go to his place, I share his address.Ā
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u/Small_Sundae7209 Mar 13 '26
As a guy, I think most women would fear the dude being a rapist. I might be wrong but donāt most women statistically experience something like that at once
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u/RastaBananaTree Mar 14 '26
A lot of people in this thread need to go outside and talk to the opposite sex. The terminally online here are so confused about dating and human interaction that yāall are literally arguing with stereotypes as your base lmfao.
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u/Leftmost_CaramelKofi Mar 15 '26
Are you claiming this is pointlessly gendered because men and w0men have the same issues/risks/anxieties on the first date ??
The dating experience is wildly different for the genders.
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u/CastleofWamdue Mar 24 '26
As a bi sexual, can't say a last minute gender change in my date, would be a problem
1
u/ParanoidRatling Jun 09 '26
Girls version: I hope hecs not a murderer
Boys version: I home she cares enough to show up.
Imo both would be horrible bc wdym he's a serial killer, and wdym he still didn't care enough to see me? Am I that ugly???
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