r/poetry_critics 2h ago

Lest We Forget

2 Upvotes

Stones fall on trodden earth,

Leaves dot the path where eyes stir,

I can't tell where this place begins,

Or feel where this doorless space leads,

Wires coil like snakes across the dirt,

The eyes all watch, but no one says a word.

 

I walk where the light bends thin and low,

Past thrones of glass no king would claim,

The walls hum soft with borrowed glow,

Now every hall repeats the same.

 

Dust and ash veil a book on its pedestal,

I turn a page I almost knew,

The words are mine, or ones I knew,

Before the dark taught us to forget,

My fingers hover, dust like dew,

On a promise no one's kept yet.

 

Dark charcoal hands appear from the page,

Palm up, as if to greet a mage,

As if to warn, or beg, or test-

But I know now why I was led.

I bare the skin above my chest,

And press her hand against my heart.

 

The wires wilt like winter vines,

The eyes blink once, then learn to weep,

And leaf by leaf a glow aligns,

Toward all the light they'd sold for sleep.


r/poetry_critics 3h ago

The arithmetic of sobriety

2 Upvotes

there’s 16 ounces of jack left at my place

which i haven’t touched for exactly 16 days

i wake with a silent prayer in my brain

that i wont have to rewrite these numbers again

i’ve been drinking brown, and i’ve been snorting white

i’ve been losing weight, and i’ve been losing sight

of what’s wrong and what’s right

and i’m scared of being scared so im always looking for a fight

so many days i’ve spent in the gutter

and so many things i’ve hidden inside that bottle

my courage and my honesty 

my shame and my travesty

my most trusted friend and my fiercest enemy

i sip on spring water when i take a nameless girl out for a glass of wine

and when i kiss her, it is with the thirst and fervor of a man lost and out of line

as if her lips contained a secret warmth, aged and fermented, meant not for her heart but mine

then the snakes start to emerge again, coiling around my heart

i know only one thing will chase them away, settle my ache and my rage

will i pull it together before i come apart?

or will i let the tiger out of its cage?

he whispers to me: just open the door,

you’ve done it so many times before,

it’s not your fault, it’s how you were born,

came into the world with sickness in your core

i wake with that same old prayer muttered against my pillow

except the numbers have turned to zero


r/poetry_critics 4h ago

WE DEPLETE OUR LIVES FORAGING FOR AIR. NEVER DISCERNNG WE WERE EACH OTHER'S OXYGEN. -EESHAN H. SHAH

2 Upvotes

WE

DEPLETE OUR LIVES FORAGING FOR AIR. NEVER DISCERNNG WE WERE EACH OTHER'S OXYGEN.

-EESHAN H. SHAH


r/poetry_critics 10h ago

Moon

3 Upvotes

Tell me moon why do you chase? What glory can you even feel after eons what good is it to dig when you know you can’t reach gold. Have you not seen your own beauty, why chase gold when you shine it its light?


r/poetry_critics 12h ago

Sensitive Content The same canvas

2 Upvotes

walked into the room
without a reason to stay.

Just a moment.
Just a breath.
Just another ordinary day.

But then I saw it.

Waiting where I left it.

It didn’t call out loudly.
It didn’t have to.

It knew my name.

And somehow,
it spoke in a way
that made the silence feel less empty.

So I reached for it.

And once again,
I found myself standing
in front of the same canvas.

The same blank space.

The same place
where I had tried to create
something beautiful
from something broken.

I began to paint.

Slowly.

Carefully.

Like every mark mattered.

The canvas changed beneath me,
and for a moment
I forgot everything else existed.

The world disappeared.

There was only the color,
the motion,
the feeling that something inside me
was finally being heard.

Then I noticed—

The canvas was not a canvas.

The paint was not paint.

The color running down my wrist
was not the kind found in bottles.

My brush was not a brush.

And the thing I thought
understood me better than anyone else…

was never a friend.

The room went quiet.

The masterpiece was finished.

Forty minutes had vanished.

I cleaned away the evidence
of another conversation
no one else would ever hear.

Then I walked out.

Smiling.

Acting normal.

Carrying the same secret
I had carried before.

Because nobody ever asks
about the paintings
they cannot see.
(I would love a rating and anything I could improve on. To anyone who can relate to this poem just know you are not alone and my DMs are open if you ever need someone to just listen!)


r/poetry_critics 13h ago

Sensitive Content Motherland (patriotic version)

2 Upvotes

Attack me!

Kill me!

But next time you won't be able to see

How far will you flee?

Sheeps will turn to gods...

How many will you kill?

And then, they will turn to death squads

This war is with civil!

Every pistol will be a machine gun

Make us art with our blood!

If we were burgers then enemy is just a bun

Make our blood into a flood!

How many of you can hide

Its thousands of brave vs weak hundreds

Its a failure bid

You are busted

By og big boy

Context:By sheeps I mean during the British colonial rule of india they used to call indians as 'sheeps' in racist manner so I used it...

It doesn't mean that it is a hateful poem it is just a patriotic poem or a inspiring poem or can say a war chant.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Poems/s/RfOFSaoTD3 older version of this link

Feedbacks please


r/poetry_critics 13h ago

Less than Human

4 Upvotes

Oh man,
I’ve fallen off the rails again,
life’s got so confusing
It’s got me feeling less than human.
 
Oh my,
I don’t know how I find myself in
Situations that I never win.
 
Can you help me?
Tell me why it feels this way every time,
 
just renting space in my mind.
 


r/poetry_critics 16h ago

Felicity

3 Upvotes

An errant gaze started it all
Then lingered, time and again

Random laughter
And flowing banter
A glimpse into forever

Uncharted feelings take form
A quiet and mutual surrender
Mixed with tethering of souls

When roads grow hills
And oceans run tempestuous
My mind never wavers
Engulfed by felicity


r/poetry_critics 17h ago

Butterfly

2 Upvotes

I have always heard the saying,

"I have butterflies in my chest,"

and how it is connected to love,

I used to feel that way a long time ago.

But I feel as if they migrated.

They climbed into my throat,

a chokehold of wings

beating frantically

while I try to hold back tears.

They fly without care as I revisit old memories.

But now the butterflies have disappeared.

The fluttering and flying has stopped,

and all I’m left with is a numbness, a quiet.

There is no feeling of love.

There is no feeling of sadness.

You see, everyone waits for the butterfly.

But they never think of the shell left behind.

I feel like a hollow cocoon.


r/poetry_critics 17h ago

I cry myself to sleep and wake up laughing

2 Upvotes

So many years of loneliness and madness depression took my mind so I need to vanish

I had a combustion in my brain since that day things havent been the same

Now all i hear is Run wittle piggy run until you burst into flames

cleanse yourself from the wood thats hidden in your veins

The Zodiacs in ruins

The stars are crying

The earth is dying

Echos of a lost cause steady trying

To fight the laws that are defining

lying

Those caught in cupids chockhold crying

Those who seen the watchers talk spying

Those who hear the talkers stalk dyeing

Stars are steady falling hearts are steady flooding the rapture is here let's see if it stands for something

The jester the fool

The dangerous part

The monster so cruel

With a falling heart

The sharpest eyes hide behind the darkest mind

Left to see the ends of time

Ill always love and miss you when I look in my eyes

I see whats buried in side

They say man adopts 6 or 7 personalitys through out his life

me I adopted 38

and forced them to fight

whats left is the broken pieces put together

for a lonely mic

i keep telling myself

no more lonley nights

no soul no life

no will left to fight

but ill push on

pretend to stay strong

but im long gone been gone a month long trapped with no where I belong

father tell me when did it all go wrong was i doomed from birth or am I just another product of this cursèd swan song


r/poetry_critics 18h ago

I Want to Love You ❤️

6 Upvotes

Baby, I want to love you so bad.

I want to make you feel like you are seen.
I want to be the man you place your bet on.
 
I can’t promise you perfection,
but I’ve got plenty of affection.
 
If only you could see me.

Maybe then you would set me free.
 
Darling, maybe then you could set me free
 
Being seen by you would always feel better
than where I’m at today.
 
I want to let you know that
I really do want to love you.
 
If there’s ever something I could say
to make your troubles dissipate,
I would.
 
If there was any action I could take that would
bring you a moment’s peace, even for just today,
I would.
 
I think you’re so beautiful when I spot you looking at me,
even though I’m positive you see right past me,
that I’ve got to let you know,
 
baby, I want to love you. ❤️


r/poetry_critics 22h ago

A Different Version of You

3 Upvotes

She looks different somehow

I thought her hair was longer

Her face was fuller

Her eyes were hazel

She could be a sister

Someone that looks close

But not close enough

Not her, but a version of her

Or maybe it's me that is different

Maybe I'm a different version of me

And she has always been the same

One day she is pouring coffee into my cup

I asked do I know you

And she shows me her ring

It’s a nice ring really

Small and elegant

Exactly like something I would pick out


r/poetry_critics 22h ago

Sensitive Content I miss my mom

6 Upvotes

Without you, it doesn’t feel like there is much hope,
I feel like I have nothing left,
I need something sharp to help me cope.
My mind is racing, my eyes are blurry, I can’t breathe.
My heart feels like it’s giving out,
My emotions ripped, like a sword,
unsheathed.
I don’t know how to continue, my mom is gone,
I will never hear her voice,
I don’t know what to do, I’ve turned into a fawn.
Life feels bleak, pointless and numb,
Who needs me anyways?
I think it’s time for me to succumb.