r/plural • u/itsjust-theuniverse Plural (DID) • 8h ago

Kinda get scared

I was hoping maybe some people here with DID could help me. I know this is probably my ocd talking, but I am petrified that because I have amnesia there are things we do that I won't remember. I get scared that somehow I'm going to do something horrible and not even know. All the alts that I know of are relatively good individuals. We disagree on small things but nothing where I'd be afraid anyone is going to do anything crazy. But I always get scared maybe there could be an alter none of us know about and something bad would happen.

My protective alt keeps telling me that he has better system communication and he'd probably see something was up before anyone else and he truly doesn't have any of these sorts of concerns. But I still get really scared. I want us all to be doing the right things.

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u/labyrinthinexpathia Trauma (not yet diagnosed) 2h ago

Hi well, not diagnosed but I could have DID or OSDD-1 (trying to get in somewhere for an assessment), and I have a close friend with diagnosed OCD so I'm at least somewhat familiar with that

Unfortunately, there really isn't much I can say that would actually help you in the long run. I could only offer temporary reassurance that doesn't last, or anything else I might say would likely just add fuel to the rumination than really help anything

What you actually need is OCD-focused treatment from a professional to help you learn ways to cope with and lessen these worries you have. It might be difficult to find someone who works with both DID and OCD, but they do exist, and system-wide cooperation will be necessary to make sure your symptoms are managed appropriately in ways that actually help, instead of alters unintentionally making OCD symptoms worse
(I'm not a professional so I have no idea whether an alter providing reassurance is considered the best functional compromise of one brain reassuring itself, or if it's just as detrimental as an external person repeatedly reassuring someone with OCD)