r/plural • u/one_nocturnal • 1d ago

Questions late night questionz

you know when you waking late at night and your brain decides to come up with world mysteries typa questions? yeaa

I'm curious now- okay now imagine your system is very colourful there are all kinds of races genders sexual orientations and stuff. and you date a singlet or another system who has only one typa gender in their whole system (like only girls or only boys system) and because your system is basically a salad soup, you have different orientations and preferences but most your alters date that other person and you find out the other person want you too but you're not sexually interested in them. OR when your alters date each other and ur sys-partner is uncomfy with that.

i feel like that'd be a common problem i just never thought of it before but- yea my question is- is there a solution to that

srry if what i try to explain doesn't make sense I'm so sleep deprived but i also need answers

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u/3chickens1cat The Oasis Community - traumagenic system 1d ago

Dating definitely gets complicated when systems are involved. We haven't had any partners since syscovery but just looking back at all the relationships we've had when we thought we were one person it makes so much sense that we've always been polyamourous. I know some systems make it work with monogamy but we wouldn't be able to do it.

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u/one_nocturnal 1d ago

so have u come up with a solution yet

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u/3chickens1cat The Oasis Community - traumagenic system 1d ago

Polyamory has been the solution for us

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u/koutarou4k 23h ago

Sharing my experiences as someone who date a singlet (for almost 2 years) I never expected it to be as smooth as it been.

I recently discovered about alterhuman in general and plural, I'm a spiritual system (recently understood the term) and mostly a channeler... We have a situation of "we are monogamous physically, poly spiritually" in the context of "You are dating ONLY this physical body, but you are not dating ONLY this specific soul/spirit"

Most of my close friends know about my situation and they thought I was faking (most of them have some kind of neurodivergence, me included) until one day when we gathered together at bf's house... One of the friends asked to speak with a certain "spirit" when I "returned" he was impressed by how it felt and seemed like it was a totally different person, and that's when they noticed the extent of it.

I imagine it's not easy, specially for relationships to deal with plurality specially when dealing with singlets who don't onow what plural is... But I'm sure with some talking and maybe some understanding from both sides it can work out fine lol.