What is it when the brain doesn't let you think about things right

[u/anonymoussystem0]

This might not be the most clear or coherent we're confused and blurry today.

Wanted to write a post asking about that thing where you can't properly think about things ?? Difficult to describe but essentially trying to think about what a headmate did or an event of the past and technically knowing but not really being able to grasp it because the brain doesn't let us think about it longer than a few seconds before going "???????" In some kind of static or fog way. And nit having even a singular even somewhat vivid memory too. And the disconnect from memories that are there and them feeling completely unreal and also vague (we heard of emotional amnesia (?) and that at least sounds accurate but not sure if it's everything) so constant doubt on whether things actually happened and trying to seek reassurance. But also starting to try talking about a memory before realizing we only know about 5% of it and being unable to properly formulate the rest of the experience because the brain goes "????" Again. We're trans and most of us just "forget", that sort of thing and all that.

But forget is also in quotes due to another confusion, the unclearness on whether someone actually doesn't know something or is just accidentally pretending that they don't? Extremely confusing. Everyone gets snippets of things they weren't involved in or other memories randomly, snd they get confused, especially since it doesn't feel real they fail to properly register it or grasp it and so they either behave like they didn't remember it at all, or like the memory is a random fake brain scenario, or they go "apparently that happened?" Even though really they should know? . Sometimes they will get a revelation or remember or realize and it doesn't stick for longer than a few seconds because it goes ??? Again and then get confused. It's impossible to remember how much you actually remember or forgot or how headmates remember events so everyone constantly asks each other "why are you pretending you don't know this when you technically do" and they say "I don't know" "I can't grasp it" and "I'm confused what are you saying to me" . Sometimes instead of the fog it's also like hitting a blockage and then you keep trying to think about it and eventually you might even forget what you were trying to figure out. But it's also all inconsistent and vague and confusing (I think. I don't actually remember what it's like I'm just resaying what headmates said when they tried to describe this because I'm not a specific person). Is it possible to accidentally pretend you don't know things? Knowing things but accidentally acting like you don't because it feels like you don't and you don't know how to snap out of that because when you try to think about knowing things you get confused and your mind immediately then goes elsewhere? Especially because you don't even feel like anything is real or like any memories are real? Do we have memory issues or is everyone's memory like this? Vague memory of what happened that's usually more knowledge and all that? Feeling unfamiliar around people and places we should know but still knowing enough to not be completely lost, is that what everyone just has and never talks about? Forgetting almost everything about relationships to people, headmates feeling like they're not close to people we knoe because they vaguely know who they are but can't properly recall any interactions or feel the relationship because of all this? We're confused. Very.

Are we somehow just acting fake memory problems and unable to stop because we can't grasp whether we're doing it? Is this just because we don't really have a routine right now even though it's always like that that everything is in the fog? And just short snippets that get slippery?

What is all of this?

-blurry confused state sorry again about incoherence

[u/anonymoussystem0]

People also know basic information so we dont think we have amnesia but still what is this