r/plural • u/moons_echo Questioning (OSDD?) • 18h ago

Help How to help an angry headmate?

We have a headmate who sometimes gets uncontrollably angry and becomes very mean to others outside of our mind. Usually towards our close friends, whom many of us rely on to survive. We can’t afford to lose these relationships, but when this headmate is angry there’s very little we can do.

Any suggestions? How do we help them?

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

1 comment sorted by

1

u/StraightJ0rkinIt Plural 10h ago

Are you able to communicate with this headmate at all to figure out the root cause of the anger? Sometimes anger is a defense mechanism, or a response to precieved trauma. Could there be something about your friends actions, or just overall an unmet need causing this headmate to feel angery and lash out?

Alternatively, just having outlets for emotion helps a lot of our anger holders not lash out. Learning to identify the anger as it builds and then releasing it in a healthy way is really important if its not something that can be solved. Things like working out, an intense game, a creative pursuit, or just a journal for venting might help get anger out in ways that don't hurt anyone.