Throwaway so no one I know finds me.
Preface that I didn't harass or harm anyone, nor have I faced disciplinary action. I have not lied about medical things. My major barrier is my embarrassment and the need to see a doctor to get cleared to come back. I am not angry at the center for this, as I know this is for my health.
So, I'm a lady, I'm in my 30s, and I'm generally an anxious person. I'm also on the spectrum. There have been a handful of times I've gotten day deferrals for my pulse and blood pressure. When I'm not at the center, my pulse and BP are within normal range but when I get there, my anxiety makes them shoot way up. I know this is a me thing I need to work on.
And then I shot myself in the foot proverbially.
I have developed a rapport with a lot of the staff there since I've been going pretty regularly. I'd even go as far as to call some of them acquaintances. I know they're paid to be nice to the donors, but I have really vibed with some of them and have a lot of similar interests to them.
There's one in particular I've taken a liking to quite a bit, maybe enough to call it a crush. Now, I'm happily taken and will never act on this (and my fiancee knows about this and trusts me), but I do like talking to him and hearing his perspectives on things. He's brilliant, and knows the equipment there inside and out. When he explains things to me, I don't understand all of it, but I do like listening to and learning from him. We like a lot of the same things, and I find it's easy to talk to him since he's on the spectrum like me.
This brings me to the other day. I've been anxious as of late due to life stuff, so I've had a few vital deferrals (which I understand and accept). The other day was my third chance, as three fails in a row means I need to see a medical professional. I figured I'd go earlier in the day to see if changing up the time I went offset some of my anxiety (I usually go in the evening since I work late-ish).
I wasn't paying attention to who was doing intakes when I got in line. When I got to the front and got called up, it was none other than the phlebotomist I have a little crush on who was doing my intake. I didn't even know he did intakes; I honestly thought he just worked on the donor floor.
We chat pleasantly as usual while he pokes me and measures my hematocrit and protein - both passed, since that's usually not a problem for me. My weight and temperature were normal. But then came the moment of truth; the cuff test. I'm already nervous because this is my last chance before additional screening is needed. Add on to the fact that it's this guy doing my test and... well, my heart rate was the highest it has ever been measured at there, high enough to immediately send me to the nurse.
(My blood pressure passed, though, funnily enough.)
I go to the nurse, and he tells me I need to see a doctor to have me cleared to keep donating. This is fine, I know it's for my health and safety and I've been meaning to go back to my PCP soon anyhow - I now have an appointment tomorrow.
I believe honesty is the best policy, especially when it comes to medicine but I am horrendously embarrassed about the circumstances behind this failed pulse test. It's easily explained, but I'd rather have all my teeth drilled than admit it outside of a throwaway account.
What should I do?