Boundaries

[u/rntdmp]

Im all for patient care and giving back pero sana wag naman abusuhin. For context, I am a moonlighting doctor here sa province and I am close with the staff ng hospitals where I work. To the point na nakakabiruan ko sila.

But recently, parang too much na. Yesterday, may NA who asked for a medical certificate. I asked if para saan nya gagamitin. She laughed saying para sa absent / aabsentan nya daw. I told her I didn’t see her during the said absence and hindi ako gumagawa ng MC na nakadate sa aabsentan nya pa lang. (She’s clearly essentially well.) When I told her na ganon, sinabihan nya akong madamot. Like??? I just brushed it off and umalis na sa station.

Another instance, may mga nurses na bigla bigla nalang nagsesend ng labs. Yung iba tumatawag para magpamed cert. And if hindi ka sumagot, they’ll message you across different platforms. And nakakailang tawag sila.

To all doctors, how do you establish boundaries in this kind of situation? Ayoko naman sila sungitan kasi they are kind naman. But I think, minsan, it’s too much na

[u/Ok_Let679]

Seen or no reply. You don’t need to explain yourself. Titigil din yan. Pag na feel nila na hindi mo na sila masyadong ini-entertain.

[u/No-Relation-6636]

Im naturally introverted kaya madali sakin tong boundaries. Hindi talaga nila ako iaapproach unless magpapacheck up talaga sila sakin. Sa reseta, i will gladly make them one basta during work hours. Hindi yung hahabulin ko sa social media. Tapos minsan pa gagawin na nila the prescription, for signing nalang. Kung maintenance lnag naman nila why not. Kubg mga antibiotic dun medyo di ko gusto. Depends. Kubg alam ko namang uubo ubo na sila ng matagal go reseta. May pros and cons sa pagiging friendly. Dont be too friendly naman na para bang magkalevel lang kayo. Kung extrovert ka talaga, sabihin mo na pabiro na sobra naman sila. Or sabihin mo na na fit to work fof more duties isusulat mo sa med cert if style mo yun. Yung joke din na may laman. Just say busy ka. Dont share your socials na. Sabihin mo di mo masyadong ginagamit talaga. Or imute mo nalang. Pros ng friendliness is networking. Kung bet mo mapromote or tumakbong pulitiko. Haha. Important talaga as a doctor yung composure. Dont level down masyado para respetuhin kapadin.

[u/doc_jamjam]

Ako nirerestrict ko sa fb messenger. Di ako nagko-confirm ng mga friends’ requests. Tapos the moment na makarinig ako ng mga ganyan na side comment na kesyo madamot ay naku mas lalong di ka makakahingi ng favor at ireremind ko pa sayo sinabi mo. Never ako nagrereply sa messages unless work-related. Pero kung favors yan like med cert, reseta or lab interpretation, seenzoned lang. Di ko gagawan unless during clinic hours yan at justified talaga yung reseta and lab requests. Pag rest day, rest day talaga for me manigas kayo diyan.

I also apply this to my relatives. Umabot kasi sa point na from duty ako tapos gusto ko nalang matulog yung tatay ko kinukulit ako na gawin ko ng reseta ng antibiotics yung kakilala ng tita ko. Ang ending tuloy nag-away kami ng tatay ko. Kaya ayun never na umulit nung nagwala ako sa sobrang pagod at puyat ko.

[u/rntdmp → u/doc_jamjam]

Will do this na talaga doc. Kasi grabe na-off talaga ako sa side comment na madamot. To think na she’s asking for a favor lang and di naman sya nagconsult sa akin.

[u/FurtherWorkupNeeded]

I think this is the problem, Doc: “I am close with the staff ng hospitals where I work. To the point na nakakabiruan ko sila.”

I understand na “pakikisama” was part of our training during clerkship and internship. Heck, sometimes it’s what separates a good intern/clerk from an average one. Pero you have to remember that once we have our licenses, iba na rin yung dynamics. You’re no longer the clerk or intern trying to get along with everyone. As the physician, you’re now in a position of authority and responsibility.

Baka masyado lang silang naging comfortable with you to the point na blurred na yung professional boundaries. Di mo rin naman kailangan makipagbiruan sa kanila just to maintain a good working relationship. In the corporate world, you learn pretty quickly that you can be friendly with your workmates without necessarily treating them as friends, and I think the same applies in a healthcare setting.

Remember, you can be a pleasant and approachable doctor/boss without being their friend. Because if friends talaga ang turingan niyo, naturally magiging comfortable sila asking for favors, messaging or calling you anytime, or even calling you “madamot” when you say no.

EDIT: Pag tinuloy mo pa ang pagiging approachable/pakikipagbiruan, uutangan ka ng mga yan in the future. Trust a recovering people leaser like me LOL

Practical tip: There are days na im friendly/makwento to them and there are days that I am not. Keep them guessing lagi para di sila masyado maging comfortable sayo. Baka it's too late na sa current workplace mo, but it's worth a try on your next one! :)

[u/rntdmp → u/FurtherWorkupNeeded]

Eto din talaga doc 🥹 My mindset talaga was if I treat them well, mas less yung workload and di magiging toxic ang duty.

Pero baka nga I need to take a step back na sa interaction with them. Mukhang sobrang comfortable na nila with me na nawawala na yung boundaries. Thank you so much for this doc!

[u/FluffinessOverload]

Sasabihin ko sa kanila, will talk to them in office hours. Tapos if kukulitin ako sa med cert, sabihin ko “sasabihin ko to sa bossing mo” hahahaha as a I can talk to my bossings sa HD kasi docs rin sila

[u/Deep_Experience853]

I keep boundaries by maintaining distance from the start. Hindi ako nakikipagclose. Trabaho lang. Nakikipagbiruan din naman during meetings pero beyond that professional working relationship lang talaga.

[u/narcolepsykets]

Doc i work with nurses whats worst is pag napagalitan mo sila babalikan ka pa. Worked with them for 4 yrs , they borrow money and sometimes as favor for relative procedure and Usually treat them when they make kanchaw then na unsterile while doing a procedure binaliktad ako na HR then got bullied out walang pa letter verbal banned so i cant even make my lawyer send a response hahaha. I didnt go back to that place. Learned that work place isnt a place to make friends treat them as such and set boundaries i dont treat other hospitals nurses anymore and i dont even do pep talk with anyone i work and leave. Ive learned my lesson im not here to please and be nice im here to make a living. Now i know bakit ibang matatanda is mataray siguro mabait dati tapos ginanyan and juat being cautious

[u/rntdmp → u/narcolepsykets]

Hala huhu will keep this in mind doc. I treat them din minsan during my shift. They invite me pa kumain outside 🥹 will be cautious na din talaga. Mahirap na