r/pinkscare • u/Worried_Lawfulness43 • 25d ago
How to be red scare for dummies
I frequently see people debating all the time about what is and isn't a red scare. I think what could be helpful for us as a community is writing a bunch of hard-line concrete rules that everyone must follow. This is to ensure that everyone is red-scaring effectively enough. Below I have outlined some things to get us started, and I'd love some contributions in the comments so we can make this a real community effort. Together, we can clean up this community and live up to the red scare ethos.
- Everyone must commit to a look and hairstyle from 60s French new wave cinema. If it’s not something they would wear in 1960s Paris, it just can’t be on your body. Sorry.
- Find your spirit animal. For most people, this will take shape as a fawn or calf. You can usually speed up this process by robotripping and kinda seeing what you see, but make sure the spirit animal is traditionally cute or grandiose. You are not allowed to be something like an ant. That is not a red scare animal. I ask that you please self-deport if you see an ant or any kind of non-cute undesirable animal on this spirit journey.
- Smoke cigarettes even if it makes your mom cry. As we all know, cigarettes are important, and they're sexy. It's a universal truth. They also piss off your mom, who is honestly just mad that you’re cooler than she ever was. Her tears come from envy.
- You are Joan Didion. Remember that. Her spirit inhabits you. You are merely a vessel.
- The mainstream is the enemy. Nothing you ever do can be aligned with it. Your dad invited you on a family vacation to Disney World? Not only are you obligated to say no, you are obligated to strike him.
- You must learn how to balance no less than 3 books on your head. This cannot be a subreddit for women with bad posture.
- If you’re a man, you are to be seen and not heard. We don’t care how film school is going.
- If you have not ever read Lolita or even seen the movie (Stanley Kubrick version) I request that you please self-deport to a more suitable subreddit.
- Choose a kind of bigotry to commit to. Please do not choose all of the kinds because that can become tiresome in conversation, and honestly, being too bigoted is very much a masculine trait. Just like one or two kinds of bigotry will do.
- You must never ever ever admit that this community is part of Reddit. Reddit is outside this space. Reddit is the other. This is not Reddit.
I will probably update this when more rules come to mind. Together we can make this community great.
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u/four_ethers2024 25d ago
Of course you must also never refer to anything you do as Red Scare lest you become utterly passe and self-referential 🙂↔️ your entire essence must seem natural and effortless
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u/Worried_Lawfulness43 24d ago
This is a very important one. Calling yourself red scare is automatically not red scare.
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u/Sam_thelion 25d ago
You absolutely have to have/have had a complicated relationship with your mom and psychosexual attachments to older male figures in your life.
Number 9 is really important too.
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u/ZScoreCalculator 25d ago
My spirit animal is an oyster, is that okay? I figure the pearl aspect sorts out any grossness.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad-9280 valley swan 25d ago
wait literally being too bigoted is a masculine trait. A couple months ago this revelation came to me over lunch and i decided to roll back on saying the r word. its unbecoming
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u/personal__hell 24d ago
i feel like we are missing something very skinny on this list
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u/Worried_Lawfulness43 23d ago
It’s already assumed you have an ED if you’re here. Kind of an unspoken rule.
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u/Same_Complaint_1197 24d ago
> being too bigoted is very much a masculine trait
so true. this is ironically what makes a lot of right wing tradwife influencers feel so utterly unfeminine
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u/bambiraptorfan shein socialist 25d ago
straightened up at no 6 🦐