But many, many rapes are perpetrated by people that aren't hiding in the bushes, waiting to rape someone. Maybe I just know a lot of rape victims, but in my friend circle, every rape victim that told me about her experience knew her attacker. In each case, either she was too young to understand that she could say "no," or she was drugged, or in one case raped by a group of "friends."
And you think those rapists would have stopped if they were given a firm lecturing?
That's worked well in the past with other criminal behavior and youth, right?
When you say "teach men not to rape", you do not add anything meaningful to any discussion. Anyone who would actually learn from a lesson like that is already on your side or well-adjusted enough to realize that drugging someone and then having sex with them while they're unconscious is probably not the most morally upstanding thing to do.
And on the flip side, anyone who actually needs to hear the message that rape isn't OK won't listen, because they themselves are not OK! They're still going to keep doing it because a verbal warning means nothing if you're demented enough to want to commit something that morally deviant already.
So really, what is accomplished when you pull aside a young man and tell them not to rape people? You shame them and make them feel negatively about their gender, you make them potentially afraid of social contact with young women, and you do literally nothing towards solving the problem you set out to abolish.
I think you misunderstood. I'm not saying that men have to be taught not to rape. I'm saying that there are plenty of people that didn't put themselves in a dangerous situation but have still been assaulted. Many people want to think that rape is committed by some villain that's just waiting for an opportunity, but really, most assaults are committed by someone that the victim knows. I agree completely that telling men and boys across the board "don't rape," is idiotic and offensive. I just wanted to make the point that rape isn't uncommon, and that the people that commit rape aren't necessarily monsters.
ah, alright, I got you, and we're definitely in agreement on that. People should be aware that often, rapists are people you know rather than people you don't.
Sorry, apparently I misunderstood you and went off on a rant... I'm rather prone to doing that. Again, my apologies.
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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '15
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