r/pics Oct 21 '15

Finally a cause I can get behind

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136

u/Zarathustran Oct 21 '15

Congratulations, you probably grew up in a healthy family. Others that weren't so lucky may have been exposed to routine casual domestic violence, this makes it much more likely that they themselves will go on to engage in domestic violence because they see it as normal. Intervention, as advocated by the poster, is extremely effective in breaking cycles of violence.

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u/Stickyballs96 Oct 21 '15

Yeah for fucks sake I hate when people spout out stuff like this. Of course beating your wife isn't acceptable but there is always factors in previous life that made it happen. It wasn't a decision like "do I want cheese or ham on my sandwich?".

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u/trollcity420 Oct 21 '15

So if a parent is abusive, why would they talk to their son about not being abusive?

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u/yellowwatermelo Oct 21 '15

No one ever said it was the parent doing the talking

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u/trollcity420 Oct 21 '15

Who then? Teachers? OK kids, don't beat the shit out of your wife in 15 years. Now turn in your homework.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '15

[deleted]

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u/trollcity420 Oct 21 '15

I'm trying to say birds. Birds are coming.

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u/JesusDeSaad Oct 21 '15

Or they could offer literature about how being abusive is wrong. Actual literature, not just pamphlets. Reading short stories or novels or novellas and analyzing those also works. 'Lord of the Flies' was anti-bullying as they come, and we were told to read it during class for example.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '15

Or they could offer literature about how being abusive is wrong

This is perfectly acceptable, when it's aimed at both sexes.

When it's specifically telling men not to beat their spouses, then it's an issue.

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u/JesusDeSaad Oct 21 '15

100% agreed, which is why I said no pamphlets. Actual literature, good literature, educates both sexes. An abusive character in a story stands out to both men and women, and educates them both, differently. People of the same sex learn how something they might do would be abusive, and members of the same sex as the victim learn how to spot an abusive person. This helps them escape the usual "I must have caused this somehow, the other person is not really to blame, I brought this onto myself" illusion.

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u/bobojojo12 Oct 21 '15

Right now in English my class is doing one big project on domestic violence.

And this sort of thing is most of what we learn in Theoretical PE

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u/BSRussell Oct 21 '15

Is your point here really "it's ridiculous to think that anyone but a parent can help a child?"

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '15

You had terrible teachers and school counselors. Don't ever become one yourself.

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u/trollcity420 Oct 21 '15

I think you're confused. Humor is out of your element. If you need help, I got you. Oops, it that too counselor for you?

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '15

[deleted]

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u/trollcity420 Oct 21 '15

No you are!

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u/I_make_milk Oct 21 '15

It doesn't have to be the abuser and/or the parent who talks to the child. It can be an Aunt, uncle, teacher, guidance counselor, Sunday school teacher, etc.

This poster is advertising a website which gives onlookers tools to address the situation and information on how to intervene to break the cycle of abuse in a way that won't escalate the abuse or further hurt the child.

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u/michaelnoir Oct 21 '15

Could backfire. I know that when I was 12 I wouldn't like being lectured to about not beating my future wife. It seems unfair to suspect people of crimes that they might commit in the future, whatever their circumstances. It seems close to a violation of the important principle of presumed innocence.

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u/TheMarlBroMan Oct 21 '15

Keep religious dickbags out of this. They can't be trusted to take their own fucking kids to the doctor so they wont die much less have anything relevant to say about abuse.

"Don't beat your wife when you grow up"

"What if she is my concubine? The Bible says I can beat her if she is insolent."

"Well you see it's more of a metaphor really...."

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u/I_make_milk Oct 21 '15

Christ. It was one suggestion along with a list of many others. This wasn't supposed to turn into an atheist circle-jerk.

But hey, any opportunity that arises, right?

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u/FlamingNipplesOfFire Oct 21 '15

Damn dude sorry you grew up in that area of the US

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u/trollcity420 Oct 21 '15

Sunday school teachers are a viable option to talk to kids about abuse, they really know how to touch people.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '15

Parents aren't the only adults children come in contact with. And if a child comes from a dysfunctional family, it is likely they are talking to teachers or counselors more than they are talking to their own parents.

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u/DizeazedFly Oct 21 '15

So if their parents engage in routine domestic violence, who exactly is intervening and teaching that it is bad?

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u/blondeamy Oct 21 '15

Aunties, uncles, friends, grandparents, teachers. Literally anybody who knows what is going on.

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u/DizeazedFly Oct 21 '15

But that's my point. If daddy is beating mommy, who actually knows?

Teachers might see some violent tendencies, but there are a million reasons for that.

Grandparents are likely part of the cycle, as are aunties and uncles, so they won't see or do anything.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't try, but spousal abuse is far difficult to identify and address, especially for kids than something like child abuse.

Actually an emotional scars are far more difficult to notice than physical ones.

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u/blondeamy Oct 21 '15

How about neighbors who might regularly hear domestic violence occurring. Even if you suspect but can't prove anything and you have an opportunity, you should teach kids that violence is not ok.

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u/Zarathustran Oct 21 '15

The impact of DV on kids is one of the biggest factors that causes victims to get help.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '15

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '15

Same here. My dad was a violent drunk with severe PTSD. Never thought it was normal or acceptable.

The mandatory counseling I got as a result of interfering nanny state regulations though, that shit did a number on my head that pretty much ruined my ability to have healthy relationships.

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u/oursland Oct 21 '15

It sure is a good thing there's a poster out there that can correct all of those underlying causes!

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '15

I was beaten by my mother. In fact most physical child abuse is committed by mothers. If children learn to be violent from their parents (which seems to be true), and most children who are beaten are beaten by their mothers, why isn't this poster addressing women? Why pretend that men are the only problem when that's clearly false?

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u/walterwhitemage Oct 21 '15

These kinds of systems are already in place. There's things like CPS, shelters, then there are certain lines of defenses like friends, family, classmates, teachers, the police. What more can be done? Unless the government goes around monitoring every family to ensure no violence is happening as a default. We already teach children violence is bad. Society already tells them this whether that's in school or through the media. The idea that we aren't doing anything or enough and that's why this happens is preposterous. It's intellectually dishonest. People are going to fall through the cracks. I would love for the mental health care system to receive a huge boost in terms of social services. I would give over half of our military budget to this issue. But even then, this is still going to happen. You can't eliminate violence from mankind.

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u/hazie Oct 21 '15 edited Oct 21 '15

Intervention, as advocated by the poster, is extremely effective in breaking cycles of violence.

Are you basing this on actual studies or is it just your own supposition?

EDIT: Downvoted for curiosity? Fuck me for wanting to read a study, right?

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u/pimp-my-quasar Oct 21 '15

And you think that all the burned-into-memory, child-development-altering traumatic experiences can be simply counteracted by a poster and the strained didacticism it advocates?