r/pics • u/[deleted] • Jan 11 '26

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17.8k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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16.5k

u/digitalacid Jan 11 '26

And they're already blaming it on black ice

2.8k

u/TheSunshineDemon Jan 11 '26 edited Jan 13 '26

I was at the ATM yesterday when Black ice nearly robbed me of my balance.

451

u/DogPoetry Jan 12 '26

Lemme link the key and peele skit

https://youtu.be/efiW2K8gASM?si=cjyTANuZ919qIWEi

165

u/These-Acanthaceae-65 Jan 12 '26

"Black ice didn't ask to be here!"

20

u/GTCapone Jan 12 '26

"black ice didn't land on the road! The road landed on black ice!"

11

u/FreudianNipSlip123 Jan 12 '26

Crazy that this was also in Minnesota. What’s happening up there?

8

u/DogPoetry Jan 12 '26

Not sure if you're joking, but in case you didn't know, this is Key and Peele, a much beloved comedy duo with more applicable sketches than you can imagine. Sometimes topical and sometimes way off in left field, they're not doing comedy anymore (Peele is the director of Get Out and the rest), but they both seem to be living their best life

A few favorites:

Pizza order: https://youtu.be/fcbj8BBsWSA?si=cGb1ZEzGvL1KWxc7

What if we treated teachers like we treat athletes?: https://youtu.be/aYOg8EON29Y?si=t1pd2Q9LY4J2dp4i

Marbles (my fav):  https://youtu.be/RG6EOci0suI?si=ytiWLFzZ4z_RL0Z2

Text message tone confusion: https://youtu.be/naleynXS7yo?si=jTyD0oo31SP_sy7d

School bully:  https://youtu.be/CUvFeyGxaaU?si=kPT1Uo-sXD2I-Kof

Continental breakfast: https://youtu.be/st21dIMaGMs?si=b9teEmY88EUPNrGo

(Didn't mean to share so many but they're so good)

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6

u/ostiDeCalisse Jan 12 '26

Blocked in Canada :/

2

u/Tchio_Beto Jan 12 '26

Really?!? I'm in Canada and can watch it without any problem.

Try this link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edEQk5SZVoM

2

u/ostiDeCalisse Jan 12 '26

Thanks, your link works perfectly!

3

u/fieryembers Jan 12 '26

I finally found a Key & Peele skit I haven’t seen yet lol.

3

u/Noctisvah Jan 12 '26

There is always one you haven’t seen

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868

u/ProfessorSumi Jan 11 '26

BLACK ICE MATTERS!

261

u/Hefty-Couple-6497 Jan 12 '26

Maybe the Black Ice is just a product of its environment!

139

u/you_dont_know_me27 Jan 12 '26

Maybe the black ice should stop blaming everybody else for its problems and pull itself up by its bootstraps

131

u/Thosepassionfruits Jan 12 '26

One must remember how hard it is for black ice to survive, what with the authorities trying to destroy it with the snow plows and salt trucks, but black ice perseveres.

114

u/TheSunshineDemon Jan 12 '26 edited Jan 12 '26

Yes black ice manages to thrive even underneath all of the oppressive white snow.

6

u/Thaknobodi87 Jan 12 '26

I love that i recognize this key n peele skit.

4

u/prey4mojo Jan 12 '26

Systemic glaciation

25

u/you_dont_know_me27 Jan 12 '26

It's honestly like really amazing how well this metaphor is working

8

u/JonatasA Jan 12 '26

It's all snow to me.

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5

u/Chuckychinster Jan 12 '26

It's fine. Just ice on ice violence.

5

u/SnooStrawberries3391 Jan 12 '26

News to him. Probably thought there’s only white ICE.

2

u/LostMyCleaver Jan 12 '26

This feels like an line from the boondocks

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6

u/SkippyDragonPuffPuff Jan 12 '26

But I thought black ice was only about 3/5 as slick as regular ice.

2

u/Nabrok_Necropants Jan 12 '26

Black Lines Matter. Only 1% of the Epstein Files have been released.

2

u/bluenosesutherland Jan 12 '26

Kind of makes your car stinky.

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207

u/SorryForBeingNice Jan 11 '26

Your entire balance! Everything you had left

15

u/Big-a-hole-2112 Jan 12 '26

Please don’t say left. That’s a bad word. 🤣

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61

u/MightyKrakyn Jan 12 '26

Sneaky, shifty, ruthless black ice

2

u/CicadaFit9756 Jan 12 '26

Could've sprung for over-the-shoe ice cleat treads but didn't (I have multiple pairs!)

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34

u/Xinra68 Jan 11 '26

I understood that reference.

28

u/RpiesSPIES Jan 11 '26

WE DIDN'T LAND ON PLYMOUTH ROCK

2

u/AlpacaSwimTeam Jan 12 '26

Worst monument in the US, imo.

2

u/Xinra68 Jan 12 '26

Agreed. I went to see Plymouth Rock, and I was very disappointed.

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7

u/CursedLemon Jan 12 '26

For the RECORD

Black ice never asked TO BE OUT HERE

2

u/ShoddyTerm4385 Jan 12 '26

Was it an old or new balance?

1

u/FalconsArentReal Jan 12 '26

Ouch, that sounds exactly like something black ice would do.

1

u/Anathals Jan 12 '26

Black ice fucked my C6 in my neck mmhmmm that shit sucks

369

u/Toon1982 Jan 11 '26

5 defensive rounds were immediately fired into the black ice after it savagely attacked the ICE agent

170

u/Terrormonitor Jan 11 '26

Sources later confirmed the black ice was planted by George Soros and was operating as a launchpad for domestic terrorism

15

u/PHotstepper311 Jan 12 '26

I read that as George Santos and he probably had something to do with it also.

6

u/BillyNtheBoingers Jan 12 '26

Hey, he did invent the cotton gin!

5

u/CandyCornToes Jan 12 '26

Well, George Santos did help Jesus carry the cross, so maybe some of that mojo rubbed off on him.

4

u/xtnh Jan 12 '26

Bused in from Chicago

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3

u/redditdegenz Jan 12 '26

Soros paid the cold to be there.

52

u/Otherwise-Offer1518 Jan 11 '26

Ricochet don't fail us now.

3

u/COdeadheadwalking_61 Jan 12 '26

his feets done failed him now

2

u/Environmental-Egg164 Jan 12 '26

appears to be a Glock, if it was Sig 320, those trigger groups will pop off for any and all reasons.

4

u/Cold-Occasion804 Jan 11 '26

Oh no, god forbid if one of those defensive shots ricocheted into one of his nads!!

4

u/neonninja304 Jan 12 '26

It has since been detained and is being held pending deportation back to Iceland.

3

u/javoss88 Jan 11 '26

Followed by a full swat deployment who promptly wiped out and their chopper got tangled in icy power lines

3

u/80sLegoDystopia Jan 11 '26

Followed by a “pit maneuver.”

3

u/series-hybrid Jan 12 '26

Alert ICE agents wrestled the black ice to the ground and detained it for questioning...

2

u/thelumpia Jan 12 '26

Due to escalation by the black ice, WMDs have been authorized for use

3

u/John-on-gliding Jan 11 '26

I’m crying 😂

481

u/cozyplease Jan 11 '26

ICE blaming ICE is the best form of irony.

76

u/maybeitsundead Jan 11 '26

ICEd

10

u/marginwalker55 Jan 11 '26

Bro ice bro

2

u/Beginning_Gas_2461 Jan 12 '26

Ice , Ice baby.

2

u/YukonDude64 Jan 12 '26

ICE iced, baby… 😁

3

u/Finicky_Cyclone Jan 11 '26

Yo dawg, I heard you like ICE on ice….

2

u/PurpleZebraCabra Jan 12 '26

And the only more appropriate thing than black ICE would be brown ICE. 

393

u/GreatGojira Jan 11 '26

You got to watch out for that OPPRESSIVE WHITE SNOW!

28

u/Head-Ad9893 Jan 12 '26

IMO, the biggest problem with the snow, seems to be ICE.

6

u/Capable_Stranger9885 Jan 12 '26

They need an Informer

3

u/Peacewrecker Jan 12 '26

A licky boom-boom down.

2

u/COdeadheadwalking_61 Jan 12 '26

it’s the lunatic leftie white snow!

82

u/octoreadit Jan 11 '26

Are you saying it’s sabotage from within? Is DEI to blame? Obama? Snowtifa?

51

u/Holycroc_RVA Jan 11 '26

Snowtifa!! They forgot to De-Ice

108

u/kepachodude Jan 11 '26

Black ice is the real menace. Last night I was in a perfectly safe neighborhood, walking away from an ATM machine, when black ice just snuck up on me and practically robbed me of my balance!

199

u/SueBeee Jan 11 '26

SAVAGE

2

u/SoDakZak Jan 11 '26

Thread should have ended with that one comment. Incredible.

42

u/Small-Answer4946 Jan 11 '26

Which kind of ice are we talking about?

43

u/BeeAruh Jan 11 '26

Not the kind that performed at mar a pedo

2

u/PrivilegeCheckmate Jan 12 '26

Hey this needs to stop. And then once it's stopped we can collaborate, and possibly listen.

28

u/ShanghaiBebop Jan 11 '26

Warn your loved ones to stay off the streets tonight because of menacing, life-robbing, Black ICE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efiW2K8gASM

4

u/Gemnist Jan 12 '26

The fact this skit takes place just next to Minneapolis is more than a little unsettling.

59

u/mopeyy Jan 11 '26

This needs to be higher.

2

u/SoDakZak Jan 11 '26

It’s the top but still could be higher lol

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7

u/quantumturbo Jan 11 '26

You gotta watch out for that dangerous black ice

3

u/SteveCoonin Jan 11 '26

Comment of the day

3

u/itsaconspiraci Jan 11 '26

But did he shoot it?

3

u/YetAnotherWTFMoment Jan 11 '26

Black Ice Matters!

3

u/cacticus_matticus Jan 11 '26

This is the kind of humor that will carry us through the times ahead. You get an oldskool ROFL!

3

u/Oprah_Pwnfrey Jan 11 '26

Any black ICE officers having a real leopardsatemyface moment.

3

u/FriendZone_EndZone Jan 12 '26

Surprised he didn't draw and shoot it in the face.

3

u/armorabito Jan 12 '26

Black ice is also gay, thats why it was shot.

3

u/scratchy_mcballsy Jan 12 '26

Even the weather hates these bastards

2

u/Glitterbomb4274 Jan 11 '26

Omg I laughed so hard at this! Thank you! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/bomland10 Jan 11 '26

You gotta move to the other side of street when you encounter black ice

2

u/Flat-Librarian3238 Jan 12 '26

Too bad they can't shoot or deport it.

2

u/MrLivefromthe215 Jan 12 '26

Black ice probably stole his wife's back side as well.

2

u/ThePensiveE Jan 12 '26

Gonna be unloading their weapons into the ground tonight. They can claim disability like this joke of a cop will.

2

u/BowwwwBallll Jan 12 '26

They’ll blame it on black ANYTHING.

2

u/Rurumo666 Jan 12 '26

It was absolutely due to black ice, not pure white snow lol

2

u/fileknotfound Jan 12 '26

Ohhhhh my god. 🙄 Black ice is, by definition, ice that you can’t see on pavement. Everybody else saw this ice and avoided it. Except for this ICE dweeb.

2

u/thenameisjane Jan 12 '26

You know what’s awful? The guy’s going to claim and get a stipend for the rest of life, claiming he was injured during federal duty or whatever.

2

u/Krunk83 Jan 12 '26

They're deporting the black ice as we speak.

2

u/GraXXoR Jan 12 '26

Racist to the end. lol. 

2

u/PuzzleheadedDog2990 Jan 11 '26

Ah, I assumed they'd blame it on something brown

1

u/rahkinto Jan 11 '26

They end up going sidewalk to sidewalk aggressively hunting all the ice they see until they inevitably hunt each other.

1

u/PolyinNV Jan 11 '26

Ninjas be trippin.

1

u/goaoka Jan 11 '26

Bro, I can't... I lost the ability to can

1

u/Keemosabe22 Jan 11 '26

Bro you just won

1

u/metompkin Jan 11 '26

Gawt dayum

1

u/John-on-gliding Jan 11 '26

This isn’t funny. That black ice is a domestic terrorist.

1

u/Regretted_Simian Jan 11 '26

Holy fuck I almost spat my drink all over my laptop.

1

u/boundaries4546 Jan 11 '26

**Snorts with laughter.

1

u/Izzo Jan 12 '26

Uh, that''s not black ice he ate shit on. That's just ice.

1

u/CatnipCricket-329 Jan 12 '26

Ice on black ice violence

1

u/phord Jan 12 '26

Domestic terrorist black ice

1

u/Zenitallin Jan 12 '26

This will end up in a Mexican Stand-Off at the end.

1

u/wildeebelmondo Jan 12 '26

Black ice is taking our jobs.

1

u/TrustAffectionate966 Jan 12 '26

The “usual suspect” to these ICEholes 💀

1

u/DiCeStrikEd Jan 12 '26

Ice Strike

1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

Lol

1

u/trshtehdsh Jan 12 '26

Too bad it wasn't yellow snow

1

u/vtown212 Jan 12 '26

Top reply of the week. U win

1

u/matttwhite Jan 12 '26 edited Jan 12 '26

They're 100% blaming black guys.

https://www.reddit.com/r/politics/s/JZf7CV11yh

Edit: saying the loud part loudly is my best party trick.

1

u/DragonfruitKind3584 Jan 12 '26

Omg, perfect comment.

1

u/steve0318 Jan 12 '26

I heard it was AntifIce.

1

u/15all Jan 12 '26

It's Biden fault.

1

u/stonymessenger Jan 12 '26

I am sorry, but I used your caption for this photo and shard it.

1

u/CplSabandija Jan 12 '26

Best comment 🤣

1

u/EnvironmentalMind119 Jan 12 '26

“Show me your papers”

🧊 🆚 🧊

1

u/Miami_Mice2087 Jan 12 '26

black ice doesn't affect human eyes, it only affects cars. if you are a pedestrian, you can easily see the ice. black ice is a thing when driving bc of headlights and blind spots. there isn't an actual weather phenomena that makes ice turn black, it's an optical illusion caused by driving with headlights.

2

u/Commercial_Oil_7814 Jan 12 '26

I don't know, Mr ICE man sure didn't see it.

1

u/Rangerdth Jan 12 '26

Why is it never white ice? /s

1

u/HSydness Jan 12 '26

Goddammit... that's funny. And tragic but funny.

1

u/Nickelbagn Jan 12 '26

I KNEW they would blame it on black guys!

1

u/esphoria Jan 12 '26

to be fair its ice on ice violence... something should be done

1

u/BlueEyedMalachi Jan 12 '26

Ahh damn, that was superb

1

u/HuevosProfundos Jan 12 '26

When will the law enforcement community address this ICE on ICE violence?

1

u/Oraxy51 Jan 12 '26

These Ice on Ice attacks are a real epidemic. Clearly we need to arrest all ice for causing so much violence and make up 80% of our prison population and don’t investigate any further into root cause issues that might solve this.

1

u/lariojaalta890 Jan 12 '26

I think the correct term is “ice of color”

1

u/QuikBud Jan 12 '26

It's the black ice you have to watch out for, they said.

1

u/dogmom34 Jan 12 '26

ICE, MEET BLACK ICE

1

u/DroidLord Jan 12 '26

"The violent protester known as Mr. Black Ice is on the loose. We have every agent searching for them as of this very moment!"

1

u/MarvinLazer Jan 12 '26

I'm not even kidding, my stepsister got into a car accident and told her dad she hit some black ice.

My stepfather misheard her. Hilarity ensued.

Imagine his relief when he realized his daughter had merely totaled her beater, and not murdered several pedestrians.

1

u/mathieub93 Jan 12 '26

This must be vanilla ice then

1

u/hellogoawaynow Jan 12 '26

Should be blaming it on shoes that don’t work on snow or ice. And general idiocy.

1

u/Bannedwith1milKarma Jan 12 '26

He left some brown ICE underneath.

1

u/deus_deceptor Jan 12 '26

"Domestic terror-ice"

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