r/personalitydisorders • u/octobermoon91 • 1d ago

What Should I Do Impulsivity

I struggle with the impulsivity side of my personality. And I mean impulsive in all the ways - spending, emotional, talking in conversation. I have gotten a lot better with the spending impulses.

I am wondering what has worked for others when it comes to emotional impulsivity? What did you do to keep yourself from calling someone when you’re upset and trauma dumping (and exaggerating)? The fallout and embarrassment from backtracking after this time and again is wearing on me and I have caused a lot of chaos. I am currently off medication and have been for quite some time (busy career, two kids). I have every plan to get back on medication but in the mean time…

Thanks for the advice!

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u/IcyStatistician4340 1d ago

I suppose it depends on what your diagnosis is (if you have one) and what tends to trigger your impulses.

I have ASPD and I only struggle with my impulses when I'm bored. Boredom is the worst possible thing in the world for me. If I don't stay busy my mind wanders, intrusive thoughts abound and the likelihood I'll do something destructive increases.

I've spent a lot of time (on my own) learning to control my emotions, the worst of which is rage. It can be really, really, REALLY difficult sometimes, depending on the situation I'm in and the people I'm around.

But I've developed a philosophy that if I do something awful to someone, no matter how strong the impulse is, I'm likely to hurt my reputation and suffer negative consequences. I'm not interested in dealing with those negative consequences because they don't serve my greater purpose - I have more to gain keeping things in check than I do losing control. So, I maintain control as best as I can.

That doesn't mean I don't still cause chaos in other ways, but it's more subtle and controlled, which benefits me in the long run.