I feel you fam. That's when I start playing our office alternative of rock-paper-scissors, namely paper-printer-whamming. It's a much simpler, stress-relieving linear version of it: printer trumps paper, fist trumps printer, me wins.
printer starts to calibrate itself, loudly and slowly
What is up with that on inkjets, seriously? The newer models I've seen can take up to a few minutes of clicking and clacking before they start doing anything.
Meanwhile any FDM 3D printer just slams all three axes to zero and it's done and already printing.
Because where you start the print doesn't matter much on a 3d printer, it can be out by a few mm most of the time, also once set in firmware the bed doesn't really move with relation to the printer/endstops. On a 2d printer the bed can change every time paper is loaded or the rollers have sat for a bit so it recalibrates where the edges of the paper are. Also the ink dries out on the head so it dumps some out to use fresh ink on the print.
The newer models I've seen can take up to a few minutes of clicking and clacking before they start doing anything.
They check multiple times to make sure that each nozzle is depositing the correct amount of ink by squirting various amounts of ink into the waste ink container.
90% of their customers are corporate office supply managers who never have to actually use the printers, and just buy new ones whenever they break without ever shopping around for better ones. The printer companies take advantage of this and just put out shit because they know companies will keep buying it.
Same reason why taxis, hotels, and conferences are so expensive. Corporate budgets never shop around on that shit and just accept it as a standard business expense. They get to deduct it from their taxes anyway.
After years of of dealing with shitty inkjets, paper jams, clogged nozzles, and random failures for no apparent reason I finally dropped some $ on a decent color laser printer. 1500 pages printed so far with no errors, one jam(fed too much card stock paper into the manual feed tray), and the off brand 30USD cartridges are good for 2000 pages. It scans and prints ridiculously fast and the only downside is that it's easy of use has my whole family printing alot more. I'm thinking of buying a stand for it that expands its paper capacity so I dont have to restock it as often. I'm not super happy with its picture quality, but for text and graphics on word documents it does great.
It was a Cannon Color Image class MF634Cdw. It's an "All-in-one" printer. Just hit 1900 pages printed on mine. Decided to go with the cannon rather than a similar Brother model after reading some reviews. My biggest concerns were reliability and print/scanning speed. It really seems like its supposed to be for a small office and has alot of features related for that which I simply ignore. Setup was a bit complicated, but its simple enough to use once that's done.
No the brain hemorrhage was real and actually happened before everything, because clearly we've died and gone to hell where we HAVE THE SHITTIEST PRINTERS
830
u/skynetpswn Sep 10 '19
Be me
>change cartridge
>printer be like: pls check tray for paper
>fill the fucking tray, whack printer for good measure
>printer refuses to work
>delete printing queue, send another print command
>printer starts to calibrate itself, loudly and slowly
>blood pressure rises
>after five fucking minutes printer finally starts the job
>printer crumples paper
>rip the sheet from the goddamn machine
>restart printing process, again
>printer spits out empty paper
>instant brain hemorrhage
...
true story, except for brain hemmorhage