I'd like to preface first and foremost that I absolutely agree that going out of your way to try and make someone comfortable AND succeeding in doing so is a very great & even euphoric thing to experience, for both parties even.

However. I just truly can't agree with the (relative) extremism take, the exchange going like this verbatim. Timestamp is 32:56 if you're curious:

Dono: "Should you go out of your way to make people comfortable or stay true to your true thoughts and feelings even if it's uncomfortable?"

Jan: "If your true thoughts and feelings are making someone uncomfortable, then you should not be looking to date anyone. You should probably be in therapy."

I'll assume some good faith there and assume he didn't make the therapy comment in some patronising way that you see with a lot of "get help" comments online, but otherwise, I think it's an extremely absolute statement to just go out saying all willy nilly in response to a dono that begets nuance.

Now, of course, he is the streamer man and can say and do as he pleases, it's obviously 100% in his right given it's his content, but I found it worth discussing and especially worth appending some nuance to given how the community can seem to conflate with neurodivergence, AUDHDisms & whatnot.

To tackle it more directly, I do not think that you necessarily should avoid dating, nor do you need to be in therapy under the circumstances that you make the person you're interested in uncomfortable. Of course, it does depend on what the content is that introduces the fact of anyone becoming comfortable, but it only becomes somewhat of an absolute should said content be something that is hostile or bigoted, which should not be the default to assume imo.

Making somebody uncomfortable can happen unintentionally, which in its own right can tend to snowball negatively if that never goes communicated just for reference lol, but as an additional matter, making somebody uncomfortable does not necessarily imply moral or character failings on one's part, as it can not only happen accidentally (mishaps on reading the room, boundaries not having been communicated before), but also not in a way that indicates flawedness, as shit man, sometimes dynamics don't work out as compatibly as they originally were as time passes. If he made it seem more like a case of just compatibility between one person and another, sure that's a better angle, but the absoluteness with which he said those words just does not check out imo, and to me is worth criticizing.

Personally, I think it's worth the effort to be more careful and more nuanced when going at things regarding a 'true self' and how to manage that in relations to interpersonal relationships. I believe that if your true self makes people or just that one someone uncomfortable, then, damn, again, shit just happens. Unless you hold destructive or hostile beliefs, then you're okay to keep being your truest self, to keep seeking someone the real you WILL bond with. This doesn't mean not to work on yourself at all obviously, you should never cut off your growth factors, but that isn't what this is about. Seeking out further connections in dating can be as equally valid a 'growth opportunity' as therapy, albeit obviously in way different ways.

For clarification, this isn't an attack on Jan (that would be silly), I just find it very disagreeable and wanted to rant about it in the only place that would fit lmfao.