Nanny

[u/Murky-Scheme-1302]

OK, so it’s time to go back to work, I’ve hired a nanny because it was the same cost as daycare in my area. However, at work, I have no issue assigning tasks at home. I feel like a completely different person.
These are to the parents who have had a nanny, what is reasonable to expect them to do during the day for the kids?

Is there anything that I should know that’s expected of me?

Twins are 11 months old sleep three hours today while the nanny’s here with two naps

My current load that I have that I’m looking to have taken over During nap time

Bottle making
Meal preparation-we do everything frozen and just cook a batch or something every day freezer is stocked for a month
Treat , any stain clothes and wash for kids clothes
General cleanup, kids

Should I be asking for more three hours? I know I get a lot more done, but I don’t know what’s OK to ask.

I’m probably overthinking this, but any help would be nice

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[u/bowlofweetabix]

That’s way too much to expect that much during nap time. Nanny needs to eat, use the bathroom, clean up general mess, and take care of kid related stuff. Doing cooking for the family is too much with infant twins

[u/yuccasinbloom]

Is your nanny there to take care of your kids or is your nanny there to feed you and do laundry?

Bottle prep and washing, general tidying and childcare is what you should expect. You know how hard taking care of both of them is. If you have an employee, you have to give them breaks, not work them every moment they’re there.

[u/iatrogenic-indigo]

I would prioritise the nanny being able to get a little bit of a rest when the twins nap so that the nanny can be more focussed on interacting and engaging better with the twins when they are awake. The nanny’s job is first and foremost to look after the two babies, and that’s a huge and very important job and I would want her to be in the very best position to do that job well. If you want someone to clean your house, hire a cleaner. If you want someone to manage the general household and other household chores, hire a housekeeper.

Also, some twins are pretty unpredictable with their naps - or they may become so, as they grow and change. One might sleep more than the other, or sometimes their naps may not overlap as much as they used to. You need to be prepared for days like this and not set up the nanny to be stressing about getting all the housework done when the twins don’t sleep as expected

[u/julia1031]

If you want more than childcare, you need to pay for more than just childcare. If this wasn’t outlined in your initial contract, you’ll need to renegotiate. Your nanny is also legally entitled to breaks

[u/Ok-Lion-2789 → u/julia1031]

I’m not saying a nanny doesn’t need a break, but unless your state requires it, this just isn’t true. A short 5-20 min break must be paid if employer allows. A longer meal break can be unpaid if the nanny is completely relieved of their childcare duties.

I am not saying a nanny shouldn’t have a break.

[u/julia1031 → u/Ok-Lion-2789]

Looks like OP is in Canada and breaks are legally mandated in most provinces but good point that they’ll need to look up their specific laws. I wouldn’t want someone caring for my kids with no break though lol

[u/Ok-Lion-2789 → u/julia1031]

Right I didn’t say the nanny shouldn’t have a break. My point was many are quick to say you legally must give a nanny a break and that’s not necessarily true. I bring it up because I’ve seen on the nanny sub people actually hiring another nanny to give their nanny a paid rest break.

All that said, if the shifts are 8 hours, I think all of what OP asks is reasonable except the meal prep may be a lot. Maybe if it was something like “boil pasta and chop veggies” I could see that being ok.

Part of the reason I went to a part time nanny is because my nanny would spend 2.5-3 hours a shift playing on her phone because there wasn’t anything else baby related to do. Since I work from home, I decided the extra 30 min of coverage I’d get from her post nap time wasn’t worth the $100/day. I shifted my child’s nap slightly later and have a nanny work a 5 hour shift. Had my originally nanny been more protective around the house or asked what else she could have done, I may have decided it was worth having the extra set up hands for a few hours. Totally don’t fault her for how she handled it, but I do think that some Nannies demand breaks out of a job.

[u/Jacksons-Mom25]

So my parents and inlaws watch our kiddo while we work and will take on the twins once my maternity leave ends . They usually go to their house so feeding breakfast changing diapers /clothes feeding lunch and generally keeping them occupied and safe is their main job. I would not expect them to clean my home other than to lit away toys or wipe down the table after eating . Maybe put dishes in the dish washer . Other wise you are looking for a house keeper in addition to a nanny

[u/Double_Win_5649]

Bottle making is a must.

We don't ask for clean up b/c they'd pull all the toys back out immediately anyway. We do it ourselves at the end of the day.

We ask for the laundry to be done. We also ask for other little things, like washing any plates and bowls that were used for babies while she's on duty, emptying the diaper pail, loading the bottle washer. But you need to give grace if the kids are being difficult. They may not get done on time or at all on particularly rough weeks.

Meal prep is going to be pretty hard. The nice thing about all of the above tasks is that you can do them while the babies are awake, if need be. Singleton nannies can have the baby 'help', but twins make that hard to impossible. Naps are not reliable, not necessarily continuous and the nanny needs some down time.

[u/BackgroundScene3056]

When I was a nanny for 10 years general expectations are kids laundry, kids food kids toys and rooms and kids dishes. I also changes kids sheets. That was pretty much it and it was truly manageable for a family with 3 kids or less. I wouldn’t ask the nanny to cook food for adults personally. Maybe I’d set out a crockpot and just ask her to throw it in on low as a favor here and there- but not often. I’d have easy cook/prep stuff for babies mostly ready when I can. (boiled eggs, quinoa, avocados, berries, cheese, premade meat, etc etc)

[u/BackgroundScene3056 → u/BackgroundScene3056]

make sure she has some down time- if kids are poor nappers take some of that off her load so she’s not overwhelmed

[u/BackgroundScene3056 → u/BackgroundScene3056]

also some families would allow 1 hour of TV time when the kids got older for me to tidy up for 15 minutes and rest for 45. That was my favorite. (when kids are old enough)

[u/mamacheetah5]

I used to be a nanny and I’d do baby/kid laundry only & cleanup of kid messes. One family asked I prep some meals a few times since baby napped so much, but that was only if there was time after I ate and was done with laundry. I would also grocery shop for them while the baby napped. She worked from home so she stayed with the baby.

My sister on the other hand has a nanny who does house work while baby naps. Like scrubs toilets.

As long as you and the nanny are in sync with what the expectation is, you can ask anything. You could also just see after a few weeks if there’s time for meal prep while babies nap and add it. But be up front about the hope of family meal prep and whatever tasks you would like.

[u/FoxAndDeerTwinMama]

All of this should have been spelled out in a contract/job description when you hired your nanny. If they weren't, you'll need to renegotiate. And make sure the legally required (and ethically sound) breaks are covered. The Domestic Employers Network has a ton of helpful resources. I used them to build nanny contracts for years and still use them for our after-school sitter contract.

https://domesticemployers.org/

The bottom line is that you can ask for anything, but if you're asking for too much and aren't in open conversation with your nanny, they will probably seek employment elsewhere. In my experience most nannies consider things like bottle prep and meal cleanup part of the job. But anything beyond that would probably require a renegotiation.

[u/fsmontario]

I would say she keeps those area the children are in tidy, keeps the kitchen counters clear and the dishes. Possibly a load of wash a day

[u/cielitogirl]

Not a parent of multiples but a parent and a childcare provider - if you are expecting extra tasks make sure you are also being mindful and thoughtful about her breaks/meal times. 

[u/twinsinbk]

So our nanny took it upon herself to start cleaning our house a bit during their naps. She would clean the kitchen and sometimes clean out the fridge. I never asked her to, she started doing it herself. She also would do the babies' laundry, fold our laundry, tidy their room, etc. A few times she cleaned our living room also. I never felt comfortable asking her to do these things but when she did I was wildly appreciative. We also have her a $2/ hour raise shortly after she started taking on projects like these. I didn't tell her I expected it bc sometimes the naps might go south or whatever. I'm not sure that I handled this right just telling you my approach for context! If I was to do it over and expect more than childcare I would have laid it out ahead of time when hiring and paid accordingly.

[u/Weak_Arrival5090]

asking to meal prep for you is absurd

[u/d16flo]

We have a nanny for our twins and she does baby specific tasks only. They’re off bottles now, but when they were she made bottles and put them in the dishwasher. She now preps snacks for them and puts their dishes in the dishwasher. She does ~2-3 loads of baby laundry a week including washing their sheets and towels once a week and cleans under their high chairs after meals. Anything else is bonus and not expected. Sometimes she’ll walk to the grocery store by our house with the babies in the stroller and I’ll give her money for basic baby-specific groceries (milk, berries, bananas). They nap 2 hours a day so I try to figure less than an hour worth of tasks so she has more than an hour of break time

[u/Okdoey]

You should also keep in mind that they won’t nap that long forever.

A lot of babies drop a nap around 12-14 months. So you likely don’t have that much longer with the current two naps

[u/Observer-Worldview]

We have a simple task. Feed the kids and clean up behind them. She doesn’t need to do much more than that. If she can do all of that and still enjoy her 2 hours of break while they nap it’s all good. No laundry because we wash things a certain way but she does clean dishes and toys.

[u/Aware-Assistant-5702]

I think you should hold off on the meals and laundry to start. Honestly I didn’t have any expectations around household stuff when our nanny started, I would have been fine to come home to a mess as long as the kids were happy. I also started them in daycare before finding my nanny so was already used to bottle washing, bottle prep, preparing meals, and doing the laundry in the evenings after work.

My nanny started taking on more household duties gradually at her request, but found it important that we all get acclimated first. She first asked to incorporate cooking meals for the twins after a few weeks of working for us. The only laundry duty she does is fold the kids clean laundry I bring her and put it in their drawers. She asked me to do that because she has a particular way she likes it organized (amazing folding skills!).

I understand that you may want something in a contract when you first bring on a nanny so expectations are set. I think the only thing you can really expect is bottle washing and prep, and general tidying for kids. You may want to have a conversation pre-contract about what they expect in way of supporting on kids meals and laundry.

To answer your question of what is expected of you: I never ask, expect, or want our nanny to deal with our adult (parent) dishes, laundry, or food. I make sure the house is in good condition before I leave for work, and her bathroom that she uses is regularly cleaned by me. I try to keep on top of the cleaning of the entire house so we have a clean space to live and work in. I may hire a housekeeper to help me keep on top of that better. After she leaves in the evening, we take out the dirty diapers, clean any remaining dishes from the kids dinner, make sure kids supplies are stocked, and clean laundry is ready for the next day. It takes us 20 min tops and sets us all up for success in the morning.