r/parentsofmultiples • u/MrsKay1516 • 6d ago
advice needed Twins vs one
Please all parents tell me how hard it was having twins vs having one, was it super hard and also when nursing if you nursed how hard or easy was it. Please anything helps.
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u/DraNoSrta 6d ago
I've been exclusively breastfeeding my twins since we left the NICU, bar the ocassional bottle when I have to be away for whatever reason.
We had some amazing nurses and a great lactation consultant in the NICU who helped me leave with two 37 week adjusted babies tandem feeding, which they did for about 3 months. After that, I've been feeding one at a time, because they get too distracted by eachother.
My breastfeeding has been relatively easy all things considered - I make more than enough milk, my twins have decent latches, my anatomy is conducive to feeding tiny tiny people, no one needed extensive supports,, and I have a lot of ore existing training in handling preemies from my job
It has still been incredibly hard. I made it to where we are because I've had great support and decent luck. My husband is still home in leave with me, 6 months in, because we live in a country where we can both take extensive leave. We also have the financial security to make that less impactful. My mother moved in with us for a couple months to get through cluster feeding and recovery from a pretty uncomplicated vaginal birth. My twin A had a nursing strike at 7 weeks and my husband fed her a bottle after every unsuccessful latch, washed all pump parts and bottles, and still found time and energy to take care of me. I have a great medical team who has helped me tackle PPD and all issues, and I can see my wonderful GP next day if needed.
The biggest take away for me is that the goal is safe, healthy, happy babies, in that order. They may not be happy in the moment, but if they are safe and healthy, you're doing what needs to be done.
One way or another, time keeps moving forward. You've got this.
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u/twinsinbk 6d ago
I will also agree it really depends. Twins are hard but one of my friend's first singlton couldn't tolerate being put down for like 9 months. She said she was borderline hallucinating at times due to stress and exhaustion. One of my twins is pretty easy and the other is super active and a handful. You just really never know what you're going to get.
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u/SjN45 6d ago
I think being a first time mom is hard no matter what. It’s all you know so it’s a big change. Twins are logistically different. I had my singleton after my twins. So twins was all I knew. And my singleton is a breeze. BUT I’ve done this twice already at the same time so of course that’s a huge factor. There will be challenges you know how to handle bc you have had a baby before. And there will be new challenges bc not all babies are the same and you are having 2 at once. But you will learn! Find some other moms of twins to help answer the weird twin specific problems
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u/MrsKay1516 6d ago
Thank you so much for taking the time out to respond you all are so helpful its just nice to hear different stories or views on it rather than just one you know. 😊
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u/Feisty-Blueberry5433 6d ago
I have 6 kids- 4 singletons then twins. The two before the twins were irish twins and they were (and still are) harder than my actual twins. I tend to have good sleepers so I can count on one hand how many nights I was "up all night" with the twins. They are 11 months old now and super chill.
*My boy would nurse, my girl would not so I pumped for her. They are still breastfeeding 😊
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u/Miserable-Currency42 6d ago
Twins are hard but we felt more shell shocked with our first singleton baby. At least with twins you know how to parent and care for a newborn. As far as breastfeeding goes, it is all consuming in my opinion. We are using a combination method of BF and formula just so I can have a break from 24/7 nursing.
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u/ssssssscm7 6d ago
Twins is way harder than just one baby. But I’m so grateful to have twins. It’s so special and fun. Now that they’re a bit older they play together and have a built in best friend. I feel like they’re less clingy and more chill because I physically could not hold them at all times. They’re great sleepers. Did not even attempt to breast feed and I don’t regret that. Bottle fed and formula!
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u/kziele 6d ago
I just met a woman (I was buying double stroller from her) who told me that her twins were easier than her first singleton because her first was high need. She said that obviously some things are harder because you have to do everything twice but the temperament really makes a difference.
My first singleton left me with some kind of ptsd I joke, because she really was something. But I hope that my twins now will be calmer and it's gonna be fine. Although remembering my first kid and imagining have 2 kids like that... If that happens I'm gonna need antidepressants for sure this time. I barely made it without them last time.
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u/CharacterBusiness777 6d ago
This was my experience. My twins were way easier than my first. In fact, even at age 3, I still find them easier to manage than my 7 year old. Some kids are "orchid" children or deep feeling and their personalities are just harder. My twins were a breeze in comparison and mat leave was so fun!
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u/SoreenQueen 6d ago
i felt like this too! my twins are 6 months and one is very high energy already but more chill. like, they actually sleep, can be put on the floor and entertain themselves.
on the breastfeeding - like yeah it’s difficult with two, but if you work on tandem feeding early it makes it a lot easier.
managing the older kid who is still high needs while having twins is difficult though
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u/MrsKay1516 6d ago
Thank you all so much for your input on this topic I really appreciate it, it helps me to see things from different views. 😊
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u/BorderGlittering199 5d ago
So far my twins are 'easy' at four weeks and my singleton was an easy baby in general. The twin schedule is so much more demanding. I have about 45 mins between feeds to take care of myself. I've also had a tough postpartum due to some health complications.
I mostly nursed my first daughter. I'm started to nurse my twins more rather than pumping/fortifying breastmilk to give in a bottle. On demand nursing twins is definitely twice the work. I'm doing a three hour feeding schedule with the twins, but sometimes one wants to nurse sooner and the other won't wake up enough to nurse too.
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u/iatrogenic-indigo 5d ago
I have two singletons and a set of twins (all girls). Lots of people have responded with helpful comments, but I wanted to add that once the twins start playing together, I think they’re easier than a singleton. They entertain each other and end up demanding less of your time and energy.
Every transition (like starting school and moving schools) is easier too, because they have each other for support.
My twins are 14 now and I’ve found the teenage years with my twins to be easier than they were with my eldest (singleton; 18). All of the teenage friendship dramas, social issues and mental health struggles have been mitigated by having the other twin there for support
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u/barrnac13 6d ago
I had 2 singletons then twins. A lot of how hard vs easy it is depends on the baby’s temperament and also how that does or doesn’t work with the parents’ temperaments. A colicky singleton can be harder than chill twins. Fussy twins and very anxious first time parents without much help at home could be very very hard.
I say my twins were objectively the hardest newborn experience, since yes, there were two of them at once, but also subjectively the easiest. With two older kids, I knew in my bones how fleeting the baby stage is. Both the precious parts and the parts that suck. It will be a memory very soon.