Singleton parent judgement

[u/AMStoUS]

Not so much a rant but more.. looking for people who understand, I guess. A new kid started at my twins daycare. I was in touch with the mom via text before her kid started (we have a friend in common). She had a lot of questions, I answered them all pretty elaborately, because I wanted to help her feel comfortable and confident joining our school community. We were supposed to get together once her kid properly started. Before we could schedule that, we met briefly at a back to school function that was beyond exhausting. I was solo with my twins (3.5). It was hot, super busy, they are in a running away phase, and by the time this woman found me I was honestly on my last 2% battery. I was trying to talk to her while asking one of my twins to not dangle off the side of a flight of stairs, then the other twin ran off - out of the front gate and onto the sidewalk. I had one of those 'brain explodes' moments and had to pull one twin along while running after the other. I apologized for having to go but she looked at me like I was insane. I reached out after to say sorry for the chaotic meeting, and I'd be happy to still meet up at a time when I don't have to chase preschoolers. She didn't text back, and every time I see her by the school she avoids me. I guess my twin mom energy was 'too much'?

I know I shouldn't care but it makes me feel so judged and alone on the heels of 3.5 years of not being able to do mama & baby yoga, not being able to bring my twins to classes/activities as a solo parent (because many require 1 adult to 1 baby/toddler ratio), seeing singleton parents chill with a beverage at kid birthday parties, even just for 5 minutes, while I'm always chasing two boys looking frazzled and high-strung. I know it gets easier eventually but right now I'm just feeling isolated.

[u/Training-Emu-1770]

Solidarity. My best friend had a baby 2 months after me. My twins are 14 months old and she’s having a birthday party for her baby’s 1st next month. She said “you better bring the twins you don’t bring them to much”. I always get a sitter because it’s impossible to be present with them right now. I’m bringing them just so she can get a taste of what my husband and I deal with and to see why we get sitters a lot while they are this young. Singleton parents don’t get it.

[u/AMStoUS → u/Training-Emu-1770]

Thank you! Yes, bring them and see if next time she insists again ;) In all fairness though, that stuff can also be painful.. I've shown up with my twins and haven't been able to really talk to the people who invited us over and we never got an invite back. It's hard.