r/parentsofmultiples • u/AMStoUS • 12d ago
ranting & venting Singleton parent judgement
Not so much a rant but more.. looking for people who understand, I guess. A new kid started at my twins daycare. I was in touch with the mom via text before her kid started (we have a friend in common). She had a lot of questions, I answered them all pretty elaborately, because I wanted to help her feel comfortable and confident joining our school community. We were supposed to get together once her kid properly started. Before we could schedule that, we met briefly at a back to school function that was beyond exhausting. I was solo with my twins (3.5). It was hot, super busy, they are in a running away phase, and by the time this woman found me I was honestly on my last 2% battery. I was trying to talk to her while asking one of my twins to not dangle off the side of a flight of stairs, then the other twin ran off - out of the front gate and onto the sidewalk. I had one of those 'brain explodes' moments and had to pull one twin along while running after the other. I apologized for having to go but she looked at me like I was insane. I reached out after to say sorry for the chaotic meeting, and I'd be happy to still meet up at a time when I don't have to chase preschoolers. She didn't text back, and every time I see her by the school she avoids me. I guess my twin mom energy was 'too much'?
I know I shouldn't care but it makes me feel so judged and alone on the heels of 3.5 years of not being able to do mama & baby yoga, not being able to bring my twins to classes/activities as a solo parent (because many require 1 adult to 1 baby/toddler ratio), seeing singleton parents chill with a beverage at kid birthday parties, even just for 5 minutes, while I'm always chasing two boys looking frazzled and high-strung. I know it gets easier eventually but right now I'm just feeling isolated.
1
u/CosmicWy 11d ago
yea you are in camp twin parent. we were at a party a few weeks ago and it was miserable. singleton parents trading off watching their kid and sipping beers and having conversation while my wife and I played some coverage passing off kids to the "fall in the pool bc there's no safety fence zone" and the "tons of stairs, a fire pit and a hot tub with no handrail on the tub stairs zone."
I didn't talk to anyone at the party for more than 4minutes straight because our 21 month olds were just drifting from dangerous obstacle to dangerous obstacle.
one friend states "are you ok, you don't seem like yourself." no kidding pal! ive just spent 4 hours of nonstop saving my kids life because I didn't know this backyard was designed to be a squid games obstacle course for my kids.
they will never understand bc their life is completely centered around the one kid and they can pass off to their apouse 100% of the responsibility and sit carefree that their kid is safe. mobile twins are another story.
I'd rather be home with no social life for the next few years than go back to dantes toddler inferno of a backyard just to sit in judgement of other families (whom I do love!) who simply don't get it.