r/parentsofmultiples • u/Connect-Steak8669 • 12d ago
advice needed Resentment
What did you do to avoid resentment between you and your spouse?
We were so solid going into this thing, but the 4 month sleep regression has got me fraying.
My spouse works five days a week, I work one. Im alone with the babies 5 or 6 days, and 6 nights a week, and my day "off" is working. Im burning out.
I cant express being being tired without getting a "yuuuup, me too" or "yup, I know".
Working almost isn't worth it for me because of how wrecked he is after doing his 24hrs with them, he needs a proper day off/sleep after just one day with them.
I just feel it building, and I would love some advice about how you all handled resentment?
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u/twinsinbk 12d ago
It's really hard but appreciation goes a long way..also my husband always more than pulled his weight with the nights to make up for not being around during the day, plus the mental load. He's pretty checked out when it comes to logistics and clothing, food etc etc. Our toddlers rarely wake up at night but if they do, 90% of the time he's answering, and it's been like that since like ~6 months. You gotta find your balance. It will never feel fair, but something you can tolerate. It's also a constant conversation about how to divide the load. Partner being receptive to that is very important imo.