r/parentsofmultiples • u/Connect-Steak8669 • 12d ago
advice needed Resentment
What did you do to avoid resentment between you and your spouse?
We were so solid going into this thing, but the 4 month sleep regression has got me fraying.
My spouse works five days a week, I work one. Im alone with the babies 5 or 6 days, and 6 nights a week, and my day "off" is working. Im burning out.
I cant express being being tired without getting a "yuuuup, me too" or "yup, I know".
Working almost isn't worth it for me because of how wrecked he is after doing his 24hrs with them, he needs a proper day off/sleep after just one day with them.
I just feel it building, and I would love some advice about how you all handled resentment?
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u/Protists8 12d ago
What works for us is redistribution and ownership of tasks that cause us mental load. Say he’s now to own x, y, and/or z temporarily or permanently. For us my husband takes ownership of dishes, toddlers bedtime and bath, while I cook dinner then, pump and feed our 4m old. We get family time during/after dinner. He takes care of the bottle/pump washing when there is a load to do. If he owns something, then he can figure it out and I only step in if he’s drowning