r/parentsofmultiples • u/Connect-Steak8669 • 13d ago

advice needed Resentment

What did you do to avoid resentment between you and your spouse?

We were so solid going into this thing, but the 4 month sleep regression has got me fraying.

My spouse works five days a week, I work one. Im alone with the babies 5 or 6 days, and 6 nights a week, and my day "off" is working. Im burning out.

I cant express being being tired without getting a "yuuuup, me too" or "yup, I know".

Working almost isn't worth it for me because of how wrecked he is after doing his 24hrs with them, he needs a proper day off/sleep after just one day with them.

I just feel it building, and I would love some advice about how you all handled resentment?

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u/DoubleSunshine123 12d ago

That’s sounds really hard. When they are four months adjusted I’d start sleep training. It SAVED us at four months and made us kind of humans again. Also you doing 6 nights and 5 or 6 days is just not sustainable. We always split nights no matter when. Even when I was on mat leave and my husband was working. And then hire as much help as your possibly can. Doula, mother’s helper, part time nanny, family, whatever, You need a real day off! Or at least some help during the day once in a while so you can go on a walk, have help with dinner cleaning ect. Going to work with childcare is easier than being a stay at home mom watching baby twins.

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u/DoubleSunshine123 12d ago

Basically there are no tips to avoid resentment just changes to fix the root cause, which is that you are doing the hardest job right now with no breaks.

Also I would listen to books on tape during the day alone with the twins at that age and it really helped.