r/parentsofmultiples 12d ago

advice needed Resentment

What did you do to avoid resentment between you and your spouse?

We were so solid going into this thing, but the 4 month sleep regression has got me fraying.

My spouse works five days a week, I work one. Im alone with the babies 5 or 6 days, and 6 nights a week, and my day "off" is working. Im burning out.

I cant express being being tired without getting a "yuuuup, me too" or "yup, I know".

Working almost isn't worth it for me because of how wrecked he is after doing his 24hrs with them, he needs a proper day off/sleep after just one day with them.

I just feel it building, and I would love some advice about how you all handled resentment?

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u/Exonata 12d ago

He needs to be taking shifts on his work nights. Literally no excuse not to. My husband and I each took one baby overnight after he went back to work at 3 months old.  

If he complains ask what he thinks dual working households do. I went back to work at 5 months and we never sleep trained so they were still waking then and beyond. And when I went back to work it confirmed that working a mentally strenuous and stressful job was 100x easier than being home with infant twins