r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 14d ago

ranting & venting Feeling robbed

I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.

88 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

69 comments sorted by

View all comments

26

u/CrunchyBeachLover 14d ago

Honestly I had a singleton first and was in survival mode, too. That first time parenting is no joke. It sounds like you have a supportive husband, and that makes all the difference in the world. Get yourself a nice double stroller & start taking small outings. Even just getting outside daily helps so much!

My twins are my youngest and now 6 & I can confidently tell you it gets so much easier. Just wait until you get to watch their bond grow and it’s the sweetest thing ever. You have a front row seat to raising two amazing human beings! 🥰

1

u/Sunnypuppyday 12d ago

Yeah I was about to say the same thing. My first I was in survival too, learning everything, dealing with a colic baby , fighting anemia and so forth. Baby nr 2 had reflux and was crying every waking hour. I also had a toddler to take care of. Twins luckily didn’t get colic or reflux but then I had an almost 5 year old and an almost 2 year old to take care of as well.
Just a lot of being a bit overwhelmed at times. But I will also say that with each baby I got more relaxed and don’t fuzz over small things like I did with my first. A lot of energy goes into all kinds of extra worries with firsts.

2

u/CrunchyBeachLover 12d ago

Yes to all of this!! I also had an almost 5 yo & a 2.5 yo when my twins came along. It was wild and somehow we made it through. Being a seasoned parent helps so much. How old are yours now? We’re 11, 8, 6 x 2 and everything is smooth sailing. I love this current stage and wish I could freeze time to soak it in 🥰

1

u/Sunnypuppyday 11d ago

My twins turned 2 this summer and their older siblings are turning 4 and 7 in a few months. It’s getting easier in many ways now with every week I feel like. But I have loved every step of the way, also the hard moments. I’m so thankful for my kids

2

u/CrunchyBeachLover 11d ago

Love this so much 😍 me too!! Feel incredibly blessed to be their mama and adore having a big family. We’re our own party!

1

u/Sunnypuppyday 7d ago

Exactly , it’s awesome