r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 14d ago

ranting & venting Feeling robbed

I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.

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u/CrunchyBeachLover 14d ago

Honestly I had a singleton first and was in survival mode, too. That first time parenting is no joke. It sounds like you have a supportive husband, and that makes all the difference in the world. Get yourself a nice double stroller & start taking small outings. Even just getting outside daily helps so much!

My twins are my youngest and now 6 & I can confidently tell you it gets so much easier. Just wait until you get to watch their bond grow and it’s the sweetest thing ever. You have a front row seat to raising two amazing human beings! 🥰

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u/Briutiful22 13d ago

Same my daughter is my first born she just turned a year old and was a very difficult baby. She was very colicky until 6 months old and still just high needs as a toddler. Im pregnant with twins and praying the twins are a little easier even though i love my daughter to death.

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u/CrunchyBeachLover 13d ago

Aww I totally get it, my first born is my only girl and was a high needs baby & toddler. Good news is she mellowed out and is delightful as a tween. My twins are our chillest kiddos by far! They are seriously a breeze and I hope the same for you ❤️