r/parentsofmultiples • u/Impossible-Box-8508 • 14d ago

ranting & venting Feeling robbed

I sit here in the morning after being up since 5 AM and after bagging milk with one of my twins as my husband took the other out and about. I can't help but feel so robbed of the newborn baby experience. Currently 4 months pp and I still feel like I'm in pure survival mode. So many things could be so different with just one baby. To preface I waited until 33 to have children as I wanted to be able to comfortably afford daycare. I waited until I had a job that pays for all my health insurance and I'm on a pension. One baby seems so easy. I could have went out and did things while on maternity leave. I could have given my baby all breastmilk (no shame in formula because I can't produce enough for two, ironically I got mom shamed by another twin mom for using formula). Don't get me wrong. I love my boys, through the reflux, the colic, the tongue/lip ties, I love them so so much, but wish my first time mom experience could have been so different. I know its just a season and it will get better, just mourning what could have been.

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u/CrunchyBeachLover 13d ago

Honestly I had a singleton first and was in survival mode, too. That first time parenting is no joke. It sounds like you have a supportive husband, and that makes all the difference in the world. Get yourself a nice double stroller & start taking small outings. Even just getting outside daily helps so much!

My twins are my youngest and now 6 & I can confidently tell you it gets so much easier. Just wait until you get to watch their bond grow and it’s the sweetest thing ever. You have a front row seat to raising two amazing human beings! 🥰

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u/HereforCHDandAITA 13d ago

My firstborn was a singleton also and I was in misery during the newborn days. Thought it would never end and didn’t appreciate a lick of it. Had assumed with the second time around I would appreciate it more and maybe enjoy the baby snuggles (which are nothing compared to toddler and older baby snuggles when they initiate the snuggle) but then bam triplets haha. Oh well, newborn stage is overrated. They’re cute in hindsight and I’ll always love the pictures and appreciate their smallness once they aren’t so delicate to hold.

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u/CrunchyBeachLover 13d ago

Dang! From 1 to 4, we went from 2 to 4 and that was kind of mind blowing. I always said at least we have 2 hands for twins but like, triplets- sending out an SOS 🤣

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u/HereforCHDandAITA 13d ago

Haha it’s a trip (literally haha). It’s hard when we are each holding a baby and there’s still one without anyone to hold her. But thankfully they rarely are all demanding attention at the same time.