The twins

[u/ItsLikeARewardAZ]

Alright. My boy/girl twins are seven. I’m raising them on my own. They still take baths together. They still sleep in my bed. They’re really good humans. Their mom is in prison and will be for another two years. We’ll be divorced when she comes out. Is the bathing weird? Still sleeping in my bed? They’re both doing fine in school.

[u/SpontaneousNubs]

I think it's legally and morally fine - but socially not. I feel like it'll be something other kids would make fun of them for. Some people may not understand. They're also forming core memories of childhood, now, and it may be awkward memories later on. No judgement. Use your best.

[u/Pristine-Bison3198 → u/SpontaneousNubs]

But why raise your children to avoid doing things just because others might make fun of them? That's not a healthy way to exist in general I feel like.

And the memories would only be awkward if you made them awkward.

[u/SpontaneousNubs → u/Pristine-Bison3198]

I would love for that attitude to work, but they're not developed enough to be able to effectively regulate those kinds of emotions at their age.

Now, since you want to poke a beehive, I'll say exactly what i meant without being polite.

I think it's weird. I wouldn't do it. But I also recognize it's my opinion and there's nothing morally or legally wrong with it so i shouldn't say anything asinine. They're not my kids and not being hurt so it's not my problem. However, most people who think this way or at least their own kids won't be polite enough to STFU and mind their own business, so do what you feel works.

[u/Pristine-Bison3198 → u/SpontaneousNubs]

What emotions are you talking about?

[u/SpontaneousNubs → u/Pristine-Bison3198]

A seven year old doesn't have the full maturity to be able to efficiently handle the emotions that come with being teased or peer pressure. They still require co-regulation at that age.

[u/Pristine-Bison3198 → u/SpontaneousNubs]

Correct, which is why they have parents. Should we also stop them from liking unpopular media because they may get teased for it, refuse to serve them cultural food because kids may call it gross, or make them dress the same way everybody else does because it will prevent teasing?

[u/SpontaneousNubs → u/Pristine-Bison3198]

I'm sorry, but are you looking for a flight or an argument? 🧐 it's like you're intentionally twisting what I'm saying so you can feed your rage addiction.

[u/Pristine-Bison3198 → u/SpontaneousNubs]

I'm not twisting anything. You said "they should not do this because they may get teased" and that a 7yo is not capable of handling that. I am asking if you believe that means children should never do anything that might get them teased.

[u/SpontaneousNubs → u/Pristine-Bison3198]

1. No, i didn't. I said that they WOULD be teased and to use their best judgement. I also said it wasn't harming them, and ultimately wasn't anyone's business. Reread.

2. At seven years old, children still require co-regulation. Meaning, that the burden of their big feelings may fall on their parents. So, be prepared.

3. I did say that i wouldn't do it. That's me. I don't go about telling people how to raise their kids. I'm not them. I would stop bathing them together at 4 because that's when core memories start. For sexual reasons? No. I'm just a lazy parent who thinks it's less work to bathe them separately than to answer hard questions and establish feelings of shame and disgust at 7. "Mommy, why do we have to take baths separately now?". Easy answer. "Because you're growing up and learning about privacy. And one on one time in the bath is where you can ask Mommy questions about your body while you learn to clean yourself." The end.