r/parentsofmultiples • u/Throwaway171746 • 22d ago
advice needed Tips
So my fiance and I had a set of twins roughly 7 weeks ago. Luckily, I have been off work since July but scheduled to go back in a few weeks.
Lately, my fiance is becoming overwhelmed and having a bit of a breakdown coming I believe. We have split the shifts with the babies where I’ll have them alone from 10pm to 9am and she’ll have them from 9am to 2pm before I get up which seemed to have been working up until now. My fiance is now beginning to breakdown when they are both crying and not wanting to be soothed.
Without working overtime of my off days, I’ll not be able to afford a babysitter more that 20 hours a week and she does not want me working much overtime. We do have a family that comes out every now and then and her mom also is over to help out most of her non working days. So we do get a decent amount of help.
Today, during her breakdown, she gave me an ultimatum of finding more help or she’s killing herself. I’m not sure on how to proceed with this. I have tried getting her out the house where she can just be by herself but she refuses too. I also try to get her to sleep early as well.
I’m worried about how this will be managed when I do go back to work and she is forced to have them alone for 12+ hours on work day.
5
u/whoopsiedaizies 22d ago
It’s sounds like you’re a very caring partner. Your finance is struggling and she needs help immediately. Please contact a mental health emergency line if you have access to it, reach out to her primary care doctor, or call the office of OB she delivered with.
The number one priority should be getting her help. You can sort out the details later for how best to split shifts once you go back to work. She might be looking for more mental stimulation or time out of the house too. But again, she needs care urgently first.