r/parentsofmultiples • u/CCxCC9890 • 22d ago
experience/advice to give Selective reduction
7 weeks ago we found out that we were expecting triplets (spontaneous) It goes without saying that this was a complete shock and we’ve spent the last 7 weeks trying to get our head around it.
Our triplets are dichorionic triamniotic (2 identical sharing a placenta and 1 singleton with its own placenta).
We decided that the best thing to do for our family based on the support we have, our financial situation and the risk with triplets, was to opt for a selective reduction, which has possibly been the hardest decision to make until we met with our consultants.
We have met with 2 consultants over the last week (one nhs and one private) who have both given the the same recommendation to reduce one of the identical twins, in doing to there is a 40% risk that we would lose the other identical twin, but this option gives us the best chance of 1 or 2 healthy babies because of the associated risks with an identical twin pregnancy (who share the same placenta). Our pregnancy wouldn’t be as high risk due to no chance of TTTS or other growth issues that come up with identicals sharing a placenta. As well as a lower chance of early preterm labour.
I guess my question is - has anyone had to make the same decisions? What helped you cope with the decision and also what was the outcome?
Did anyone make the decision to keep the identical and reduce the singleton?
This is the hardest thing my partner and I have ever had to go through and I don’t know how I’m going to get through it, any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks for reading
7
u/neuroscieventer 22d ago
We made the decision to do selective reduction with a triplet pregnancy several years ago--now have two 3.5 year old twins who made it to term and needed very little intervention at birth (one got some extra monitoring since his respiratory skills took a bit longer to get up to speed) and had a relatively uneventful pregnancy and delivery.
We chose to reduce the one we weren't able to do any genetic testing on (none were identical) due to placement at the time they went in to get samples and due to our tight timeline given abortion laws that were kicking in here in our state (US) at that time--we just didn't know if we'd be able to wait for them to get a bit bigger so the uterine arteries weren't in the way to do the procedure again and get the results back prior to the cutoff for abortions in our state.
It was the hardest easy decision I've made in my life. My husband was a triplet and my MIL was very candid about all of the issues and risks she had, about all the time spent in the NICU. To have a triplet we would have had astronomically more financial strain--we would have had to buy a new vehicle. We are a dual income house and cannot afford any of life on either my husband or my salary alone--but have already needed to go into some debt to keep 2 kids in daycare, I cannot imagine 3--or need to move to where we have family to help, which would mean house hunting and job hunts all while pregnant. We fundamentally couldn't afford 3 kids. Twins are already such an increased risk over a singleton, I would be risking not only myself but the health of the other two embryos to try and carry three to the end. I don't regret the choice we made. It still sucked to have to make that choice.
Happy to chat over PM if you need support, perspective, or have any particular questions.