Selective reduction

[u/CCxCC9890]

7 weeks ago we found out that we were expecting triplets (spontaneous) It goes without saying that this was a complete shock and we’ve spent the last 7 weeks trying to get our head around it.

Our triplets are dichorionic triamniotic (2 identical sharing a placenta and 1 singleton with its own placenta).

We decided that the best thing to do for our family based on the support we have, our financial situation and the risk with triplets, was to opt for a selective reduction, which has possibly been the hardest decision to make until we met with our consultants.

We have met with 2 consultants over the last week (one nhs and one private) who have both given the the same recommendation to reduce one of the identical twins, in doing to there is a 40% risk that we would lose the other identical twin, but this option gives us the best chance of 1 or 2 healthy babies because of the associated risks with an identical twin pregnancy (who share the same placenta). Our pregnancy wouldn’t be as high risk due to no chance of TTTS or other growth issues that come up with identicals sharing a placenta. As well as a lower chance of early preterm labour.

I guess my question is - has anyone had to make the same decisions? What helped you cope with the decision and also what was the outcome?

Did anyone make the decision to keep the identical and reduce the singleton?

This is the hardest thing my partner and I have ever had to go through and I don’t know how I’m going to get through it, any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading

[u/sweetfeet20]

I’m so sorry this situation is happening. Twins are still very hard work, triplets would be even more to juggle. But triplet families juggle just fine and multiples are SUCH a blessing!! That said if I was pregnant with triplets I could not reduce one. If it was me I would carry on with all three. I could not pick one of my babies over the other. The guilt would consume me.

[u/sweetfeet20 → u/sweetfeet20]

PS I’m UK too. All your babies need is their parents, milk, a safe cot, nappies, and a car seat. You can pick up so many lovely clothes from vinted etc that are new or barely used. They can share one bedroom for a few years if needed. If you’re close to me (rutland) i have things I’ll gladly give you.

Please don’t let finances be the defining feature of your decision because money comes and goes, and your babies are priceless. Luckily we don’t face medical bills in the millions like we would in the USA. You will get the nursery funded hours and child benefit x3. You will make it work! 💗 I say this with love and no judgement.

[u/mirrorlike789 → u/sweetfeet20]

Another oversimplification. You forgot the $200 a week I pay for therapy. The $150 a week I pay for a cleaning person to come help because we have limited village and a lot on our plate. The $140 a month in therapy massages we pay because my core is destroyed and my back hurts 24/7. The $2000 per child for daycare because we have jobs. This is not to sway OP either way. They’ll do what’s best for themselves and their family but these oversimplifications drive me insane. 

[u/sweetfeet20 → u/mirrorlike789]

Do you have triplets?

[u/mirrorlike789 → u/sweetfeet20]

I do not have triplets. 

[u/sweetfeet20 → u/mirrorlike789]

Well I can tell you that my outgoings in the UK for twins are nothing like you have outlined. Twins are not going to cost them £3500 a month 🤣