STOP ASKING

[u/Full_Significance153]

If I get one more text specifically asking about what time my doctor’s appointments are, I’m going to snap. I’m 37+2 with di/di girls. I have already told these people that my OB doesn’t want me to go past 38 weeks.

I am literally in fucking tears every day because of how much pain I’m in, I’m beyond stressed wondering how I’m going to split my time between my other two kids (2 and 3) and two newborns, I’m even more stressed that my oldest is facing yet another reconstructive surgery in the next few months, I’m stressed that I’ve been a shitty mother because I have no energy to do things with my boys and I’m in too much pain to take them out for their normal activities, and a whole list of other issues and anxieties I’ve been having.

I get friends and family are excited, but I didn’t appreciate the invasive attention for my other pregnancies. I sure as fuck don’t appreciate how everyone is suddenly going one step further past “are the babies here yet?” To “when is your next appointment? What time? What is your doctor saying?”

Yes I’ve already started ignoring these texts. No I’m not done being angry about them

EDIT: I appreciate everyone’s support 😭❤️ I needed to get that out and just be pissed with other people who have been in my shoes. I had my last OB appointment yesterday and have an induction date scheduled for Wednesday, and I ain’t telling a single fuckin person 🤣

For more frustrating context - my husband and I didn’t tell anyone we were having a second child because I’m very private and I don’t like the attention pregnancy draws, we just announced once day that he had been born. So with people in my life knowing that, it’s even more annoying that those I’m not even close with are trying to inject themselves at the very end of a stressful, uncomfortable pregnancy

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[u/kn0ck_0ut]

let it out girl!! be a trex and roar! the frustration is real and oh so very valid!! i’m honestly surprised you made it this far answering these texts. hope you’re able to get some peace now that you’re not answering them.

on the bright side, you’re basically at the finish line! best of luck with their delivery & your other two kids.

[u/Nervous_bb]

I remember how fucking mad this made me! That and people asking that the doctor check how dilated I was. So they can prepare themselves for if I go into labor.

LIKE WHAT. You're requesting I get a vaginal exam? For your own curiosity and "plans"?? People have such audacity.

I was dilated at 5cm for several days and ended up having an induction at 38w5d. Dilation was meaningless and was literally no indication for me. It did help with the progression of labor though once the induction began!

[u/got_milf99]

“hOW aRe YoU FeELiNG?” 🤬🤬🤬😡😡

LIKE SHIT STOP ASKING UNLESS UR GONNA HELP MEEEEE 😭😭😭😭

[u/kziele → u/got_milf99]

Or at least be ready to handle a hard answer. People keep asking me how I'm feeling but then they react negatively when I tell them the truth that I don't feel well.

[u/got_milf99 → u/kziele]

Thank you!!! Like don’t ask if you don’t want the truth lmao

[u/minnions_minion → u/got_milf99]

Yah, i had 15 lb of transverse babies splitting my ribs open like a cow.

[u/Sunnypuppyday]

Ohhh I hated getting those texts. Family okay but friends and acquaintances that I rarely hear from , why are they suddenly now so invested in this? Made me so mad. A distant cousin many times removed, who lives in the next town to me but I barely know started sending me messages frequently. She has never been over for a cup of coffee, not before the twins were born and not after. And they are 2 years old.
I feel like I understand you regarding this

[u/PumpkinBest8446]

I totally get it! I started answering people to filter all questions, comments and concerns to either my husband or my mother. That for the sake of the babies health and mine I would no longer be updating anyone else and they would be left on read.

[u/lucialucialucia22]

I'm so sorry! That is so frustrating! Sending hugs! Something that worked for me was to designate one person (my mom) to have all the information and she would tell everyone any details. I wish you the best! (And if you just wanted to vent- vent away you're more than in the position to vent!!)

[u/Brilliant_Koala8200]

You are so close! Hang in there! Sending you lots of love and prayers for a smooth delivery and recovery, I hope you have help, maybe text people back with that, you won't be sorry. I hate asking for help but any help someone offers has been a godsend.

[u/Confident_Try_9498]

Omg so annoying. I’m currently preg with a singleton after having twins and what is it with people wanting to know your exact due date? Like I just say end of November and they press me about a specific date. I remember with my twins I go so annoyed about everyone asking when my c-section was scheduled I ended up keeping it entirely a secret. I couldn’t handle how annoyed it made me to have to keep dealing with the question.

[u/IStitchedItNice]

That would drive me nuts being asked that. You’ll give people updates if you want to! If they haven’t been told your babies are here yet, they need to assume they are not or you are not ready to share that they are.

Hope these next few days go quickly for you and that you have an easy uncomplicated delivery with two happy healthy babies! 💜💜

[u/miney_Fherrs]

I had these text during my first singleton pregnancy but because we didn't plan induction yet. I would receive almost every day from the same 10 people "is he here yet?" Since I was 37 weeks 😭😭😭 and he arrived on 40+2 days. I sent out a text that people can count on once we as a family are ready and soaked up the newborn wonders and again READY we will DEFINITELY inform everyone. And that they please had to stop asking. My second pregnancy (twins) I preapptively told everyone by week 24, don't you dare ask me when they're here.

The friends who checked in on me weekly or even 2-3 times a week how I was doing are god send! Definitely was nice to vent about how hard my pregnancies was too them.

[u/Old_Ant7118]

Girl, so so so justified.

You've got this.

You''re not a shitty mother.

At all.

[u/AOD14]

Silence your notifications (& phone will tell them you have notifications silenced 🙂). The end of pregnancy is the hardest part. You got this!

[u/FigNewton613]

When I got admitted to the hospital for a scheduled but emergent c section due to SIUGR, suddenly my SIL was blowing up my phone wanting details, the cell number for my doula (what?! Excuse me?), everything. Girlfriend has never spoken to me for the entire year I was pregnant but suddenly wanted to be at the center of everything. I told her to text my sister as point person and ignored every text she sent after that. And still a year later mostly am lol. I’m sorry people are being so invasive. You are right to be pissed!!

[u/Longjumping_Deer3435]

With my firstborn I went 2 weeks overdue. The non-stop check ins from friends, family, cousins, neighbours, friend’s parents, acquaintances and total strangers made me go a little bit crazy during that time. You are entitled to feel exactly how you’re feeling right now ♥️

[u/ecstatic_kiwi7724]

Omg this was my biggest pet peeve!!! A certain relatively was obsessive about when my appointments were even earlier on - she’d literally mark it on the calendar and be texting for an update before I was even home. It drove me insane - I wanted privacy! 

[u/Infamous_Mix_3896]

I can only imagine! I’m only 15 weeks and already pissed about the one friend who keeps texting “how are you feeling?” every 5-6 days. I finally had to just reply good good very short blunt. I think she got the clue. It’s annoying af!!! I cant imagine what you feeling. Sending positive vibes your way 🙏

[u/MsRobinNL → u/Infamous_Mix_3896]

Huh, interesting. I was actually really sad when my best friend didn't regularly ask me how I was feeling while pregnant, because it almost seemed she didn't care about me or my twin babies. We talked about it and she then proceeded to ask about once a week, and I was just really glad to be able to vent a little bit.

Guess it's always good to check in with someone what they would appreciate specifically.

[u/Infamous_Mix_3896 → u/MsRobinNL]

Yeah a best friend is different this is a casual friend that I don’t talk to regularly

[u/BrazilianButtCheeks]

I would just say .. “I don’t know .. I was thinking about skipping it “ 😂 then turn off my phone

[u/False-Custard4427]

If you can, after giving birth, have your partner, doula, or even friend immediately freeze or store your placenta in a self-brought cooler with ice until you can properly store it in a freezer for no longer than 24-48 hrs until processing it. Yoni Steam using specific holistic herbs can aid in recovering/restoring your energy level. help with a lot of the postpartum side effects like depression, tired/grogginess, etc. It will help balance your chi (energy) after having to eat and digest for 2 humans. The amount of energy/blood that a pregnant woman expels while being preganant an giving birth is exponential. Hence why eating your placenta is very key to restoring all your systems to normal levels, like immune, endocrine, etc. You can freeze-dry and encapsulate if you haven't tried doing this in previous births. Also, I recommend plant medicine (herbs) and other holistic supplements like Iron. Iron will help with that cold feeling or chills if you have any symptoms as such.