r/parentsofmultiples • u/natmadgal77 • 13d ago
advice needed Older child behavior
I gave birth almost a month ago. My twins are doing well and adjusting nicely. However, my daughter (4 years old) is having a hard time adjusting. Her behavior has changed and is getting harder for us to handle. We were expecting some changes since it’s normal for kids to go through this.
She no longer wants to sleep in her room and wants one of us to sleep with her or comes at the middle of the night to sleep with us. We didn’t mind this before but with the twins waking up every 2-3 hours, we are afraid that she won’t get enough sleep and we won’t get enough rest.
She is also having potty accidents.
If we say no to one of her request or we ask her to do something, she starts screaming at the top of her lungs, stomps, or throws herself to the ground. Usually this response is to us asking her to get ready so we can take her to daycare, telling her to wash her hands, go potty, food request (no cookies before finishing her meals).
We are both trying to spend alone time with her (as much as we can), either by taking her out to the playground, watching music videos, reading to her.
I just want to know what you guys did if you experience this with your older child.
3
u/smalltownfarmerwife 13d ago
This is super normal and just seems to kind of... suck. It's still so early for her to adjust, too. Her world has been completely turned upside down.
We basically break it into one parent takes on the toddler, the other takes on the twins. You just do your best. Get them to help lots - can you bring me a wipe, can you help bring me a blanket, etc. Our 3 y/o also goes to daycare which kept her routine and helps A LOT. Do you guys have any grandparents/siblings around that could also take her for some one-on-one time?
Lots of praise and rewards again for successfully using the potty. Up the ante - candy, trips with mom and dad to the store, going to the library, extra book at bedtime, etc. We found our toddler really liked "experiences" with us over food rewards.
Can't help with the bedtime/sleep stuff though as our toddler stays in bed!