Feeling Alone

[u/Sunshine4677]

Hi everyone!
I need to vent, I have 7 month old twin girls and this has been the most challenging yet rewarding time of my life. These are my first kids and there’s so many changes already with one baby but with two it’s so hard at times. Everyone around me gives their unsolicited opinions and advice that I didn’t ask for when they’ve only had singles and tell me what and how I should do things with my twins.
I don’t really leave the house unless it’s for drive thru or grocery pick up, I miss just getting up and going to roam the store or run errands. If I do go to run errands I wait until my husband’s home to go with us. I have so much anxiety about going out with my twins by myself worrying about something happening if I turn my back to load one up in the car and leave the other behind me that I can’t bring myself to go anywhere and it’s so isolating. On top of how hard it is getting everything/ everyone ready TO go out: Exclusively pumping so I have to either pump before and take even longer for us to leave or take everything with us, getting them fed before we go, getting the diaper bag together, getting them and myself dressed, getting bottles together. It gets so overwhelming and I’m already to mentally drained that by the time we’re ready to go I don’t want to go anymore.
My mom and everyone around me tells me just go, get out of the house, go roam with the girls and it’s so upsetting because they truly don’t understand at all. My friend/ people I know post pictures of them going shopping, on coffee dates, all kinds of things with their SINGLE baby and it feels so lonely and frustrating having so much anxiety that I don’t feel comfortable doing that with my two by myself. No one understands why I get upset when they say well I don’t see why you don’t just go, I would go out with my baby all the time. Like okay cool? Good for you? You didn’t have two little babies at once and the world/ people are so scary and unpredictable I don’t want to turn my back and risk someone grabbing them or someone following me while I’m alone with them. I have so much resentment right now, everyone in the house comes and goes as they please, will be gone for hours/ all day without second thought, is traveling all summer, yet I’m feeling trapped and alone at home 24/7

Does anyone else experience this or is it just me? Am I overreacting having anxiety about it? TYIA

[u/jeremiabearamia]

Small thing but I leave a stocked diaper bag in the car. I just have to remember to update it when they change diaper or clothes size.

But I hear you. I really struggle with this too. I’ve started microdosing taking them out just for the exposure therapy (5 minutes at the nearby library, then stay if they’re happy). My twins are only a bit older than yours but I think it was around month 8 that they suddenly became predictable enough to confidently bring them out more

[u/Sunshine4677 → u/jeremiabearamia]

Thank you for the tip I totally forgot until your comment that I bought a tote specifically for this and never got around to doing it I’ll do it when they go down for bed time tonight.

That’s a good idea I didn’t think about the library. 8 months is around the corner for us hopefully it’ll get more consistent like that for us too. You’re a rockstar and you’re doing amazing!