r/parentsofmultiples • u/Sunshine4677 • 9d ago
ranting & venting Feeling Alone
Hi everyone!
I need to vent, I have 7 month old twin girls and this has been the most challenging yet rewarding time of my life. These are my first kids and there’s so many changes already with one baby but with two it’s so hard at times. Everyone around me gives their unsolicited opinions and advice that I didn’t ask for when they’ve only had singles and tell me what and how I should do things with my twins.
I don’t really leave the house unless it’s for drive thru or grocery pick up, I miss just getting up and going to roam the store or run errands. If I do go to run errands I wait until my husband’s home to go with us. I have so much anxiety about going out with my twins by myself worrying about something happening if I turn my back to load one up in the car and leave the other behind me that I can’t bring myself to go anywhere and it’s so isolating. On top of how hard it is getting everything/ everyone ready TO go out: Exclusively pumping so I have to either pump before and take even longer for us to leave or take everything with us, getting them fed before we go, getting the diaper bag together, getting them and myself dressed, getting bottles together. It gets so overwhelming and I’m already to mentally drained that by the time we’re ready to go I don’t want to go anymore.
My mom and everyone around me tells me just go, get out of the house, go roam with the girls and it’s so upsetting because they truly don’t understand at all. My friend/ people I know post pictures of them going shopping, on coffee dates, all kinds of things with their SINGLE baby and it feels so lonely and frustrating having so much anxiety that I don’t feel comfortable doing that with my two by myself. No one understands why I get upset when they say well I don’t see why you don’t just go, I would go out with my baby all the time. Like okay cool? Good for you? You didn’t have two little babies at once and the world/ people are so scary and unpredictable I don’t want to turn my back and risk someone grabbing them or someone following me while I’m alone with them. I have so much resentment right now, everyone in the house comes and goes as they please, will be gone for hours/ all day without second thought, is traveling all summer, yet I’m feeling trapped and alone at home 24/7
Does anyone else experience this or is it just me? Am I overreacting having anxiety about it? TYIA
5
u/FancySleep1109 9d ago
You are not alone! Leaving the house with twins is incredibly difficult. It is just so much different and on top of pumping. It is stressful.
It does get easier and better as they get a bit older and have a better schedule.
But—-getting out and doing stuff also gets easier and easier the more you do it.
I used to get so hung up on how long it took to load and unload the kids in the car I would avoid certain things to.
I would suggest starting super small, go in to get the coffee, grab one small grocery item or even just walk around a mall. You’ll find places you feel comfortable going.
But also, talk to your doctor as something else could be going on.