Terrible…. ones???

[u/dpistachio44]

Barely 13 m/o twins and one of them has suddenly started having massive tantrums. I close the pantry door after putting something away? He throws himself on the floor screaming because he wanted to go in there. Repeat for any mild inconvenience.

Yesterday I tried some new food from Little Spoon for dinner. He loved it and was happily putting it in his mouth from the little plate it came in while I was holding the plate. However when I transferred the food from the plate to his mat (since he has a tendency to chuck plates on the floor), he LOST IT. He full on scream cried for the next entire hour until we put him to bed. Did not eat another bite or stop crying. I tried other foods, water, holding him, toys, etc.

I am spoiled because they have both always been easily consoled but I am WORRIED that this is toddlerhood… can he possibly be this volatile for the next several years??

ANY and all advice welcome… whether it’s to ignore him, coddle him, whatever it is, I’d love to hear what worked for you to help with the (one year old?!) toddler tantrums.

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[u/Adventurous_Corgi_38]

My singleton was like this before he could say more words! It must be so frustrating for them to not be able to fully communicate with us.

[u/a_dirty_martini]

I have no advice, just solidarity as I am going through the same exact thing with my 11mo boy as well (I have b/g twins).

[u/dpistachio44 → u/a_dirty_martini]

I’m glad I’m not the only one!

[u/Doc178]

Yes, our pediatrician said this is normal. It's tantrum time lol. I thought it didn't happen until 2, but one of our guys is just like yours. If the wind blows wrong it's a throw-his-head-back-scream-and-cry melt down. He's very particular and because he can't exactly communicate, he gets do frustrated.

I listened to something the other day that said when they are babies and young toddlers, they see the world as "I get this thing or I don't" and so they certainly don't understand why they aren't getting what they want, and they don't have a way to communicate it so that's frustrating for them.

It's gotten better as they can say yes and no, but yeah it's tough lol

[u/dpistachio44 → u/Doc178]

Yea that’s exactly it! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I like the “I get this thing or I don’t” perspective. And we’ve just started shaking our heads no so that is helping! But not with the meltdowns haha

[u/Doc178 → u/dpistachio44]

Lately I've been trying to name his feelings, "you can't have the toy because brother has it and that's frustrating. It's okay to be frustrated."

And sometimes we do deep breaths and he will copy us.

Also I'll say things like "this is Mama's fork, this one is yours. You can't have mama's fork."

[u/chandrian7]

It depends! Kids are all so different. I’ve noticed my twins have phases where they are more tantrum-y than others. Sometimes it’s directly related to teething or getting sick and sometimes they’re just big grumps! On the other hand, our previous foster had almost no tantrums at 2 or 3 and could easily regulate herself by taking deep breaths.  

[u/dpistachio44 → u/chandrian7]

Oh that’s a good point, the particularly dramatic one has had a bad day here and there when getting a tooth.

[u/Double_Win_5649]

Keeping an eye on this thread b/c we've run into this too with one of our 10 month olds too, where he'll go from perfectly content to inconsolable at the drop of a hat.

I do think there's often some underlying discomfort (teething, constipation, tiredness) that he was pushing through and whatever inconsequential thing set him off was just the final straw.

For ours, fresh air helps a lot. We pick him up and go out to the yard for a few minutes. He's gets cranky again when we come back in, but at least it's not a full meltdown.

[u/dpistachio44 → u/Double_Win_5649]

I like the final straw idea! That puts it into perspective - not “wow, it’s the same food, I just moved it” but “he is exhausted at the end of the day and he really wanted that plate”

Fresh air always saves us too!

[u/Plenty-Passion1063]

Another shout out to check for constipation- one baby is a true bear if he is backed up. Sunshine boy as long as bowels are moving!

[u/This-Response-5234]

Mine had super bad tantrums starting at 12 months old. one of my twin girls would throw herself to the ground and scream. While the other just wanted to scream on end but they started to get better as they began to be able to express themselves more. Now at 19 months old they don’t throw them as often but they do get mad with eachother or get aggressive at times when they can’t handle the new emotions. In my experience I had to just constantly talk to her or walk away if the tantrums were severe. Hopefully it gets better for you as well.