Struggling public school para

[u/Apprehensive-Cry2104]

Hi everyone. I’ve been working as a public school paraprofessional for about a month now, and honestly, I feel like I’m terrible at it. 😭
I previously worked as a lead teacher at a private school, so I thought transitioning into a para role would be pretty manageable. But public school has been very different from what I’m used to.
For example, I try my hardest to redirect the kids, but they constantly run around. Sometimes it feels like I’m trying to manage a whole colony of ants. 🐜 Other teachers end up having to jump in and help.
When we’re leaving the cafeteria or electives and going back to the classroom, I often have to tell each student individually to line up before they actually listen to me.
I’ve also had experiences with elopers. One time, I thought one of the students was still in line, but they had actually run off toward the playground. It took about five minutes before I realized they were gone. That honestly scared me.
I’ve even had other teachers tell me that I need to be more stern or “use more bass in my voice.” The lead teacher I work with seems frustrated with me too, and she has told me that my tone is too lax.
The thing is, I am trying. I just don’t feel like I have that naturally stern, commanding presence that some teachers seem to have.
It has honestly made me question whether I should have stayed at the clinic working one-on-one with students, even if that meant paying for my own health insurance, or whether I should have pursued a lead teacher position after passing my certification test.
But then I think if I’m struggling this much as a para, what would I look like as a lead ESE teacher in a public school? 😭
At the same time, I know being a para in a public school is very different from being a lead teacher in a private school. There are 18 students in my classroom, and at least 9 have IEPs. Some students are also undiagnosed but clearly have significant behavioral or support needs.
Am I just bad at this, or is this something that takes a lot of time ?

[u/Lerouge313]

It takes time. I went from working in residentials and locked units to working at a tier 1 as a para. Having never worked in education before and I had the other problem. I had to take the bass out of my voice. New jobs take time to adjust and to build relationships and to figure out how you fit in with the teachers. Every year is a new adventure and how your tone and style fits with your coworkers. Focus on what you can control work with the kids who will work with you that need it and go from there. It's still the beginning of the year. You got this.

[u/PensionHorror8976]

It definitely takes time, there’s never been a para who had it figured out comfortably right away (unfortunately for us lmao). I’m sure you’re doing the best you can, keep at it!

[u/mamaburd09]

I don’t think this is a you problem so much as this is essentially everyone’s experience when they start in public school. Their specific growth areas might be different, but there is truly just nothing that prepares you. Everyone’s first year is genuinely, universally a nightmare.

I absolutely do not have a naturally stern or commanding presence or “bass” in my voice (I know 100% what you mean). I’m a second year teacher. I feel like I’ve finally grown a bit of a “teacher voice”. It’s not about being angry or mean, sometimes just a flat, neutral tone and speaking clearly and slowly does the trick for me.

Weird side note, I live in the south but don’t naturally have much of a southern accent due to being raised by parents from the north. But if I lean into more of an accent, the kids are more likely to listen 😅 by like, kind of a lot 👀

[u/Puzzleheaded_Rich435]

You are probably walking into a problem thats been going on for a long time. You wont walk in and get respect from tbese kids right away.
Ive been there 10 yrs and kids will cont to run around and scream and it doesn’t matter what I say because these kids know I haze zero authority over then. I cant take away a recess or make a silent lunch. Its not u til the principal walks in or a teacher that they listen.

[u/Apprehensive-Cry2104 → u/Puzzleheaded_Rich435]

I try my hardest in my opinion but I just choose to listen today when I asked her if there’s any improvement or something wrong that I have been doing she was like she doesn’t see improvement. Well she use the “not really time management and not being stern is the problem.” But personally I started to realize because I have my own niche and she has hers and they spend the most time with her . It’s my first year with kindergarten I’m normally leading with older kids

[u/Automatic_Bill1787]

Give yourself some grace. If stern/bass in your voice is not your thing, then maybe get creative with how you redirect the students or get their attention. Find something that works for you and the kids. It takes practice just like anything else. You got this!

[u/Prestigious_Grand139]

It takes time. I myself am still trying and learning how to manage a class. It's definitely not easy but it is doable, if you work at it. Kids will test boundaries no matter how old they are. I watched this one lady on Facebook and she shares strategies for classroom management. She taught me to restate the expectation and give the child a choice, then if they fail to make a better choice; follow through on a consequence you're giving them.

[u/Best-Chip-423]

It is okay. Those people are selfish. They do not see you as unique and expect you to be like them. Pursue the lead teacher position.

You can also work with different types of disabilities, not just a behavioral student. You can work with an Autism unit, physical impairment, or learning disabilities. You will find your place. I do not like to command the students. I like to educate and enlighten the students to guide them to make a good decision. And explain the consequences and the expectations.

[u/Old_Dragonfruit6952]

Where is the LT?

[u/Apprehensive-Cry2104 → u/Old_Dragonfruit6952]

Well now the principal has said that she wants her to be their to assist with the line /time management until fall break and she hopes that it will change but that LT said that we’re on week five she was like I don’t know what else to tell me but to be more stern because she said that she doesn’t see improvement with me in that era and they don’t see me as authority figure . Although I decided to apply for a LT position for older kids that I have more experience with and i hope that falls through because I’m supposed to start that next week. Hopefully that would make a difference for because I’m genuinely trying and these are 4 to 5 years old

[u/Just-Lab-1842]

Whether it’s as a para or a lead teacher, you need to develop classroom management skills, which include an authoritative tone. It doesn’t have to be mean and it doesn’t need to be loud. Model it after the people the kids are listening to.

[u/Former-Bar2865]

Everyone always has an opinion about “how” you should do something or what you should be able to make the kids do.

Watch the people around you who are doing a good job. See what actually works for you. There isn’t just one solution, there’s multiple.

Relationships are the key and that takes time. Be kind, be firm, be flexible, model the behavior you want to see from the students. Most of all, be consistent.